Hunks and Chunks

* The abscess under my arm looked hideous yesterday. Red, swollen, and sore. I knew I should see a doctor, but didn't dare chance the worthless cost share to cover the expenses. Last night my sweet daughter Bethany offered to try and help with some essential oils, which she slathered on the soles of my feet, and a spoonful of colloidal silver. Already weepy, the abscess leaked on my shirt all through the night and, though still ugly, actually looked better this morning. A little after noon I made a visit to Urgent Care, on my new insurance, and was prescribed two different antibiotics (to be on the safe side), while they culture the infection. And I should see my doctor next week... maybe.

* The doctor... I already said my past health coverage was garbage. I've already gotten a bill for the x-rays of my back, and now I have a notice from the cost share that they did not cover one of my previous doctor visits. Go figure, it's the one they approved. I may need to call them on this. I should have cancelled in the end of April and I'd have had May's payment to send the doctor if and when I get the bill. Ugh.

* I don't know what is going on between the Cabinet Maker and me. I thought we were friends when we went to Dave's at the Apple Blossom Festival a few weeks ago... Not sure what happened after that. I've tried to do everything in my control to remain friends. I'm not seething in anger, wishing terrible things, or conniving ways to make life difficult for him. There is not another man in my life and I am not running from the issues at hand. This is a boundary crossing, not a matter of forgiveness. I'm not trying to be selfish, in fact I'm trying very hard not to be. I have paperwork to be notarized, one for him to sign and a passel for me, but he and I can't seem to get where we need to be at the same time. I get that this is impossibly difficult, it is for me too. I just want to get beyond it and establish a new normal.

* The garage is still full of things to be sorted. I was already overwhelmed when I went out there late this afternoon and found myself crying, "Lord, I can't do this alone!" I almost closed the garage door and walked away, but I turned around and decided to take a few pieces of furniture and a couple of boxes up into the garage attic. It's at least a step toward clearing some space and every step forward brings me a little closer to the goal.