And That's the Way It Is

It's been a little bit of an off week. At the beginning of February I wondered why I was feeling tense and chalked it up to it being the middle of winter. Since February is such a cold, bleak time of year, and no major milestones were coming to mind, I figured that was the answer... and this week I remembered my mother's passing at the end of February nine years ago. (How can it be nine years already? Didn't I just post about her moving in with us?) Nine years... Ugh. It's harder today than it was at the time.

My daughter had exciting news this week when she was contacted by a sought after family member. She couldn't stop smiling. She is quite the internet sleuth. She's getting answers to questions and there is great satisfaction in her recent accomplishment. It also comes with some sticky situations attached. She will need wisdom in moving forward but I have complete confidence in her ability to be both kind and truthful.

I had a therapist appointment just before our recent "severe weather." It was suggested that perhaps I should write a letter to each member of my family, including James. The letters aren't meant to be sent. They are simply intended to help me sort, clarify, and process thoughts and emotions. The empathetic me is often disabled emotionally by those closest to me. I no longer fall apart over what may be the feelings of others but there is still work to be done.

School was in recess for Presidents Week the past several days and our routines at the daycare became entirely unpredictable. Though I'd like to envision myself as flexible and compliant, the truth is that I hate unstable and inconsistent routines. I want to know what I'm doing and who I am doing it with. The upside to a changed routine is I got to spend an entire day with my friend Mara on Thursday. She will be two in May.

I have working headlights! My son Ben came over on Tuesday and put the new bulb in for me, just in time for this week's ice and snow storm.

The bowl I had ready to be fired, the one with the funky glaze job, has been altered, Someone tried to help me "fix" the glaze and poured more over it. Ugh. Another lesson in letting go of expectations. I am now uncertain how to proceed with it. I'd really been looking forward to seeing how it turned out. Oh, well.

My room is progressing. Sergio has been replacing insulation. Soon it will be ready for new paneling.

The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful

* My work review was a little "iffy" this year. I started to post about it twice and then thought better of it. The short version is they said I was "grumpy," which is actually sad and hilarious all at once. It came with a 50 cent raise. We had a mass exodus of staff just before Christmas and our new staff is questionable. They are afraid I might tender my resignation, which is possible, but not imminent.

* The bedroom project is moving along. Slowly. We're hoping to get something accomplished this weekend in the way of insulation. 

* I almost ran into the back end of (what I think was) an Amazon delivery van in the rainy, dark, predawn hours of Friday morning. There was just enough time to realize I couldn't stop, no cars coming up the other side of the hill, and to swerve around. It was parked in the road on the crest of a hill, with flashers blinking. My car is missing a headlight and my brain was set on autopilot. It was a bad combination and I am grateful it did not end badly.

* My headlights have to be special ordered thanks to whoever owned the vehicle before me. (We'd already tried to change it on Thursday evening.) They are now on order and should arrive on Tuesday.

* We had some gorgeous weather on Wednesday. It was 67 degrees and I took a walk on my lunch break.

* While Wednesday's weather was supremely beautiful, it was also windy. It was a bad day for one of our sweet, daycare families whose house caught fire and burned to the ground while they were away at work and school. No people were injured, but they lost everything including 3 dogs, 3 cats, and a bunny. I can't even imagine the heartbreak.

* Pottery night. I did very little pottery yesterday. I wasn't feeling it, but I did trim some bowls thrown earlier this month, and glazed my remaining bowl from Dan. (See how I claimed it as mine?) I'm interested to see how the glaze turns out as I tried a different application.

Bits and Pieces

 * We're almost halfway through February already. I should stop in Wegmans but I'm not at all interested in wading through their gargantuan Valentine displays. Maybe I'll hold off until Wednesday, or go to Walmart instead.

* Last Friday I trimmed the two bowls Dan threw when he visited our pottery night. They turned out nice.

* This Friday I picked one of the bowls off the shelf, mistakenly thought it was bisque fired, and mishandled it. A big chunk came out of the side and the rest of it crashed to the floor. I was left picking up the pieces. It's amazing how many thoughts go through the mind in a matter of milliseconds.

* I was disappointed in the broken bowl, I was embarrassed (just slightly), I was relieved (I knew Dan wouldn't be upset), and I was deciding how to proceed. In the end I broke up the bigger pieces, put it all into a bucket and added water. I brought it back to life. And, I eventually texted Dan and told him about it. He made me laugh and I was relieved, although I was never worried about his reaction.

* Yesterday morning I went to a memorial service for the father of a close friend. Goodbyes are hard.

* I have managed in the last week to empty my upstairs bedroom. Well, mostly.  The dressers have been moved to the narrow end of the room by the attic. Soon we will begin to tear down the paneling and replace the old insulation. I need to make a run to Lowes.

* It's Superbowl Sunday. The boys are coming over.

* 163. It's my starting point. I have a 20 pound goal.