Playing Catch-up

 * The long weekend vacation to New Hampshire (we also drove up into Maine) was fabulous. There is nothing quite like like getting away from the everyday and exploring someplace new. On our way to Hampton Falls, Gail and I detoured to Whitinsville, Massachusetts where our friend Beth met us at The West End Creamery. I have been wanting this for years. It was such a wonderful hour of remembering childhood and catching up on the present day.

* Our friend Linda, who was already in Boston, met us in New Hampshire and we spent the next couple of days going to a sea glass festival, a rummage sale, gift shops, restaurants, and exploring the coast. It rained Sunday afternoon and we took a drive up along the coast as far as Kennebunkport, Maine and the Bush Estate. Vacations are always too short and on Monday morning, when it was finally sunny again, we turned west and headed for home.

* I returned to the hair salon on Tuesday evening and saw my new favorite hair stylist, Anna. The appointments weren't double booked this time and we laughed about the mix-up that happened in March. "I'm glad you decided to come back to me," she said. 

* The Webster Museum was doing a little presentation on Wednesday afternoon during my lunch break. My neighbor and I were the keynote speakers... They are highlighting our little neighborhood of National Homes which were built in the early 1950's. It has long been affectionately dubbed "Indian Village" for the street names, Pontiac, Seneca, Mohawk, and Iroquois. I should have asked for more than just the hour as I had to rush back to work as soon as it was over. Before I left, I was approached by a woman who said she had gone to school with me, and there was my old friend Melissa, who not only graduated with me but was also in my kindergarten class, along with Beth who I had just seen in Massachusetts. How fun is that?

* It was a stressful week at work. Something felt off with my present coworker all week but there was nothing I could put my finger on aside from a slight coolness that didn't seem to be there the week before. The children have been crazy, as usual. On Friday afternoon, just after returning from a very late lunch, I sat down to draw with a few of the children, most of whom did not take a nap, and were now running around the classroom. It went well for a very short time and then several decided it was a good idea to eat the crayons. When I stood up to take the crayon from one small child, he took off running, crayon in hand. I chased him down, caught him by the shoulder, and took the chewed on crayon out of his hand. In the process, I accidentally left a large scratch on the side of his neck. (I am as horrified as anyone else. Probably more so.) Everything is on camera and I would never, ever purposely hurt a child, but my boss, who reviewed the footage insists that I pulled him backward by his sweatshirt. This happened at 2:30 pm just 20 minutes after I had returned from my break. At 4:30 pm I was called into a meeting and sent home on "administrative leave." I am absolutely sick.

* In the early hours of Saturday morning my sweet daughter got up and took her best friend, my son in law, to the airport with a one-way ticket to El Paso. He is now in Mexico. On Friday he has an appointment with im mig ration. It is our hope and prayer that he will be looked upon with favor by those in authority and return home by the end of May. Needless to say, stress levels are at an all time high. All your prayers and good thoughts are appreciated.

* Yesterday was Mother's Day. My sweet children all reached out and made the day very special. Six came over with the fixings to make subs, and one called from Florida to let me know he loves me too.

Bits and Pieces

* News of the eclipse party is everywhere. The eclipse was fantastic, the gathering was the best!

* After every fabulous, rejuvenating event come unexpected stressors. We are stressed. We are stressed for several and various reasons. All we can do is move through them because they aren't going to be over until we do.

* Work is stressful because children are maniacs. (I don't expect anything different.) Work stresses are being managed as well as possible. Hopefully everything will work itself out in time and without any more incidents. (Incidents are inevitable which is why maniacal children are stressful.)

* Did I tell you I was scheduled for an echocardiagram in June? Well, it's tomorrow instead. Yesterday I went in for an MRI on my lower back and afterward decided to see why my follow up appointment with the cardiologist was so far out when my papers say 4 weeks. After checking the schedule, it was discovered there had been a cancellation this week. Did I want the appointment? Absolutely!

* Stress does crazy things to a body. Many of the sensations I have been feeling recently would have been brushed off in the past, but with the knowledge that I have an abnormality in my heart, there comes an even greater consciousness of these sensations. Is today's pain in my upper back related to my heart or did I sleep wrong? Am I once again carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders? Am I imagining symptoms or are they real? (I wasn't crazy in February...) I can not tell the difference between what is serious and what isn't. I will be relieved when tomorrow's appointment is over and I have some answers. (PS. I took a sick day tomorrow.)

* My car has a new battery, fresh oil, new lift support struts so the back will stay open when I want to put my groceries inside, and new brake lights too. Oh, and the gas tank is full.

* Please keep my little family in your prayers. We have big things happening. Thank you so much.

PS. I felt God smile again this afternoon when my phone rang. The person on the other end had no idea I was trying to call them back for precisely the same reason they were calling me. I never even had to tell them anything. I just smiled and agreed to their suggestion. It was perfect!

A Hole in One

The most difficult thing about being alone (and sometimes being married as well) is not knowing how to fill "The Hole." It appears unexpectedly tender on a Saturday morning when I have no weekend plans, or bleeding when the house is suddenly empty and I find myself alone... A huge part of healing, I have been told, is in knowing how to be alone, but I strongly suspect that even those who savor their times of solitude also look for company.

I know all about the "Jesus shaped hole" that is supposed to be filled by having a relationship with Him, but God created us to need/desire companionship. He meant for His creation to experience community. It wasn't good for Adam to be alone in the garden and he had a God from Whose Presence he had not yet fallen. All the prayer and Bible reading (if I was doing it) don't put those people in our lives. It would be nice if God would plunk the perfect person in our lap, but the truth is that doesn't happen. Only imperfect friends/companions exist and we have to go out and find them.

I will be blatantly honest, I'm not so sure church is the best place to find a partner... It's an absolutely splendid place to look for the unsuspecting if one is an abuser, controller, manipulator, predator, or any other kind of creep. This does not, of course, make everyone there any of these things. One could also be be kind, loving, generous, and Christ-like. It's just hard to tell the difference. Heck, I have a hard time telling the difference when I know what people are actually like. And in all honesty, I don't want to believe people I know and love put on "sheep's clothing" when they are actually a wolves underneath. It's a concept I cannot wrap my head around, one that makes the hole inside ache and throb even more. 

It sunny outside. There is still an air quality alert, but there is no better heart medicine than sunshine, "fresh" air, and the sound of birds singing. Staying inside to "bleed out" is not an option. I am going to be okay. I am okay. In all honesty, I am more than okay, even if there is a hole in my heart.

Stuff, Just Stuff

Emotional. Not sure if it's because I've drastically reduced my carb and sugar intake, the lack of sunshine, or something else weighing on my heart and mind. There are certainly a number of things it could be...

Tomorrow morning I will rise early and head off to Bethany's house like I did in November when she was sick in the hospital, but this time she is not sick. Our sweet Henry is scheduled for surgery tomorrow morning and I will go to stay with my other grandchildren while Beth and Adam are together at the hospital waiting for Henry. (Prayers are appreciated.) I haven't been to Bethany's house since Christmas and am feeling a little out of the loop.

I'm also grieving the loss of my shelf at the pottery studio, even though I haven't been there enough to warrant paying the rental fee. This tells me I will be back in the studio one day, and probably not too very long from now. 

Sunday is Valentine's Day. This could throw me off a tad too, so I just connected with a friend and we have plans to meet for breakfast after church. I feel better already! Ha ha!

Just Keep Praying

I'm barely sure what day it is anymore... Actually, I know it's Thursday, it just doesn't feel normal because it's anything but. My girl had surgery on Tuesday evening, but they did not take her appendix yet. Too much inflammation in other places. I don't understand all of it, but I know she is getting the best care possible. She sounded so very sick on the phone last night that after we hung up I cried. The helpless feeling washed over and my heart was aching. She may be halfway to 70, but she is still my baby. As a family we are all angry that the hospital she went to on Saturday sent her home with a probable stomach ulcer, stating if she had appendicitis she would be a lot sicker. We are thanking God for sparing her life and pray for a full recovery. She said she was feeling a little better this morning and I am so grateful, although I know she is far from all better.

I am able to be here with the kids until returning to work Monday morning. A friend has found donors of breast milk for Henry and set up a Meal Train. What is needed next are friends to come here to help after she returns home from the hospital. She can not be expected to keep up with four children when she is released. Please pray we are able to find available friends and family members who are willing to give of their time for the next several weeks.

The weather has turned from winter back to summer. I had the door open for much of the day and even carried the baby around the block mid afternoon. When Adam returned home I asked him where a stroller might be hiding. Of course it was right there in the closet next to my jacket which I hung there yesterday morning. The weather is forecast to remain warm the next few days so we'll definitely be going for a walk.

I guess there's an election battle going on, but I'm trying not to notice. God knows all about that fiasco and He is ultimately in control no matter what the outcome. 

Thank you for your prayers on all fronts.

The Week in a Nutshell

Most of this past week was dark, dreary and wet. I was thankful for the beautiful walk on Saturday and my time with my friend Gail on Sunday. I'm coming to realize I might need a better plan to get me through the coming long winter as I am prone to feeling depressed on dark, cold, lonely evenings. Last year I had the pottery studio, and although I still have my shelf at the moment, I am seriously considering turning in my key and saving the $75 each month. At the very least I could save it toward taking a future class. I haven't spent any real time there since March.

On Tuesday evening I spent a few hours making pies with my daughter Bethany. Today is her 35th birthday. Tomorrow she is throwing a "Halfway to 70" birthday party with apple pie for dessert. We have encouraged her in this endeavor. She needs a good stress reliever and nothing relieves stress better than the love of friends and family. (Please pray for baby Henry as he is scheduled for surgery on December 1. We'd all appreciate your prayers for a successful operation and speedy healing for this sweet child.)

This afternoon after work Hannah, Idris and I went for a walk around the block. Twice. Tonight my people and I went down to the lake for an evening picnic. Hannah and Sergio bought subs and I met them down at the lake. It was an absolutely gorgeous day! Just like summer, aside from the autumn colors. No jackets needed. We opted to take advantage of this rare opportunity as tomorrow is forecast to be about 35 degrees colder. It was a beautiful evening.

Tomorrow and Sunday both come with birthday parties. I wish I could say I am already prepared, but the truth is I am not. I have some work to do tomorrow if I am to arrive at Number Seven's Sixth birthday party with a present. Pretty sure I can be successful. At least I hope so...
 

Sleep, a Storm, and a Song

It's not late, but I need to go to sleep. I haven't been sleeping well and I have to be at work a half hour earlier now. Our baby room was overflowing this morning and we must stay in ratio. There were six infants by the time I punched in this morning. Theoretically, starting a half hour earlier means I'll get out a half hour earlier, but realistically, that ain't happenin'.


We're having another "winter storm." That means it's snowing and driving is nasty. I am still scratching my head and wondering why this is big news. Ever since I can remember we've had winter weather in the winter. We drove in the snow if possible, and stayed home if it was too dangerous. Okay, sometimes we stayed home.

If my praying friends are reading, we still need your prayers. I know I need to turn it all over to the One Who Holds All Things, but I don't always know how. The burden is bigger than I can carry alone and your prayers help. Thank you for lifting us up.

The song? It touched my heart many years ago. I came across it this evening and found myself touched all over again. I once sang it for a child, and today I wonder if it's really sung for me...

Into the Unknown...

I don't know exactly where I'm headed, but I know Who lights the path. It's not possible to see all the way down the road today because there are curves, hills, and obstacles blocking the view. I know that is intentional. Trusting God is about not being able to see too far ahead... and following anyway. It means following even when I know others will not understand, and even when I know they will misjudge me and my intentions. It means going where He leads even when it is hard and uncomfortable. It means I may not fully understand either.

When all is said and done, I pray my kids and grandkids will be able to trust my heart and the choices I am making. I pray they will know there are boundaries and consequences in life, and that upholding boundaries is often just as hard for the one upholding them. I pray we all remember that each of us reaps what we have sown. I pray they will know there is forgiveness, and deep and abiding love, even in the midst of pain and brokenness. I pray we will continue to heal as a family, because we are broken in so very many ways... And I pray the grace of God and his abiding love will shine through even in what feels like the darkest of days. I pray I do not let go of His Hand or wander from the path, and that He continues to carry me though times when I can't go on myself.

Life is fraught with pain, but there is also joy. I am thankful for those who have prayed, and continue to pray for each and every one of us. I am thankful for my new church and those who are loving and encouraging me, and I am thankful for our old church and those who surround the Cabinet Maker with love and prayers. I am thankful for my parents and their investment in our life, for the example they were, and the prayers they lifted heavenward for each of us. I am blessed and thankful that God loves me, James, and our children more than either of us ever could, and that He is with them, hearing our prayers and working on their behalf. I could wallow in regret over the past, but today I choose to be grateful for all the good in our lives rather than to focus on the ugly. I choose to let Jesus redeem what is broken in His time and His way, because His ways are better. Thank you to each and every one of you who is praying for us. We need those prayers more than you can imagine.

Be The Center

Jesus, be the center

Be my source, be my light,

Jesus

Jesus, be the center

Be my hope, be my song,

Jesus

Be the fire in my heart

Be the wind in these sails,

Be the reason that I live,

Jesus, Jesus

Jesus, be my vision

Be my path, be my guide

Jesus

I've been knocked off center, left wobbling about and unable to get myself back where I need to be. Thankfully I have Father in Heaven who hasn't set me on a shelf and forgotten me. He knows just what is needed to get me centered once again. Please pray it happens soon.

(Kudos to the Half Naked Pottery Guy who spun a pot just for me at the Minnesota Renaissance Festival 4 years ago.) 

Thank You, Lord, For Chickens

I am thankful for the gift of chickens.

It was about 4:30 when I stepped out to lock the chickens in for the night. It wasn't quite dusk and a few fowl remained outside as I rounded the barn corner. Upon seeing me, several birds hopped back out of the cage, hoping for a treat of bread or fruit, of which I had none. I dumped another helping of pellets into their pan and they obediently went inside. Eleven birds. Ten hens and a rooster. I count them every so often. I checked for eggs, found none, and headed back to the house. I'd been gone five minutes at the most.

We had just been whipping up a couple batches of frosting and getting out the goodies for building graham cracker houses. The fun was about to begin, but instead some kind of altercation had erupted in my absence and our holiday happenings suddenly over. I had missed the entire ordeal. I found myself numb, which is an all too often occurrence recently. There wasn't a chance to take sides even if I would have. I heard nothing, saw nothing, and knew nothing other than the fact that a few family members were missing and another several were leaving as well.

Like my husband and my children, I miss my father's presence most of all at family gatherings, and especially at Christmas. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, "His was a steady, peaceful, calming presence." We miss him being here, we miss his intervention and words of wisdom, and most of all we miss his prayers over us. Nothing will bring him back, but I am seriously considering hanging a large portrait of him in a conspicuous place in the living room. Maybe that would make him feel just a little bit closer.

And to top it off, we get to try this all over again in another week when Minnesota comes to visit.

Letting Go a Little at a Time

Giving up the reins is hard. Even giving them over to those who care can be next to impossible...

It's been a long, hard week. I am tired and teary. I am blessed by a brand new grandson, and my heart, though full and happy for my daughter, aches just a bit because I know how much her heart will break when her child faces the struggles that come with life. She will never be the same.

I slept last night. I wasn't thinking about a daughter in the throes of childbirth. Hannah's labor and delivery are accomplished. She has a beautiful baby boy. Today they will take him home and start a new chapter of life.

I slept last night. I didn't have to worry about where my son was or if he was needing help. I knew he was surrounded by people who would give him what he needs and I knew he would finally be able to sleep too. This is another road I haven't been down before, but I know I'm not alone on the journey.

Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous-

3. Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood God.

This Beautiful Day

It's been a long day, but this mama will sleep better tonight. My boy is in a safe place. He has help and there is hope.

When life gets too big to carry by ourselves, we have a God that is bigger than the burdens on our shoulders. I am in awe again at how God puts us exactly where we need to be when we need to be there. This time He gave an older brother two days off work at the perfect time so he could be there in his brother's time of need. (Thank you, Jesus!)

Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous-

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

The Kids I Love

"A mother is only as happy as her saddest child..." my friend Karen

My daughter is due today so when I heard my phone chime this morning, I automatically assumed it was news. Instead the screen read, "I love you so much" and it was not a text from my sweet girl, but my heartbroken and aching son...

My heart jumped and I immediately pushed the button to call him. On the other end I found a broken and sobbing man. My little boy. One who once snuggled down next to me for long naps, who had the softest ears ever, and who used to look up at me and say, "Mom... I neeeeeed you."

No details, just a mother's plea for prayers. Again.

Twelve Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous-

1. We admitted we were powerless over others - that our lives had become unmanageable.

A Tim Post

No posts for four days and then two in one day. I am so unpredictable.

We went to see our brother this afternoon, Rachel and I. It was an emotional ride. As Dad played old hymns on his guitar and harmonica through the CD player, Tim wiped tears from the corner of his eyes, and Rachel cried too.

"We haven't gotten any kind of communication from him in a long time due to med changes, but I got a "Hi" today. I also saw him wipe his silent tears a couple of times while we were on a car ride listening to Dad's music. That's all it took. I cried too. Uninitiated hugs given to me and my sister, Martha... I can't provide any details, but please pray for my brother Tim. He's hurting and that makes my heart ache."

There was an incident at the residence. We aren't sure exactly what happened, only that it involved him and it is obvious that he is hurting. Thankfully, it is also obvious he knows we love him, and he loves us too. I even collected another kiss on the cheek before we left him. Tonight, two weeks seems a long time before we see him again...

First a Party and Then Back to Work

It's a quiet morning. The sounds around me are the quiet, settled kind, a bird chirping outside, the tick of the wall clock, and a the low growl of a fan running in the upstairs bedroom. I can hardly believe we're all the way back around to Tuesday again. It's my long day of the week. Soon I'll be out the door...

Yesterday was a busy one. We cleaned the house, as much as is possible in the midst of kitchen renovation, set up the back porch, and had a picnic. Our friend Don came with his wife. He's been a longtime friend struggling with multiple health issues and had hoped to see our kids on his visit. He was not disappointed. We had six out of seven, plus seven grandchildren. I think it was a nice day even if it did go by in a blur. ha ha!

Our Minnesota son is in the hospital. He had a rough day Saturday and ended up at Urgent Care on Sunday morning thanks to the encouragement of my favorite daughter in law. Turns out he had a partially collapsed lung. The doctors inserted a tube to release the air that had collected around the outer area of the effected lung and are now looking into why this happened. It's hard to be seventeen hours away from your child, even a grown up one,when they are hurting. I am grateful to have Michele on the other end loving and taking care of that firstborn boy of mine. She is my hero today.

Roads and Journeys

Life is a journey. Sometimes we end up caught in a traffic jam; other times we drive for miles quite unsure of where we're going. It always helps to have a map. And it helps if one knows how to read the map.

My friend Deborah and I set out on a journey last Friday. I'd looked up possible routes and even printed a map along with directions, but in spite of my apparent preparation, we ended up wandering back roads wasting precious time. I wasn't worried whether or not we'd actually make the destination. We weren't actually lost, just misdirected. I took the freeway exit too soon and so we meandered about the hills and back roads. We took the long way because I didn't pay enough attention to the map.

Not all was lost. We were blessed with hills full of autumn colors, bright blue skies, and sunshine. There was plenty to be thankful for because God is like that. He sends blessing in spite of our foolishness. I came home with a deepened friendship, plenty of photos, and a few trinkets. I only wish I'd not left myself feeling rushed. We so need those moments to inhale deeply and rest.

I'd been given a map of another type as a child. Mom and Dad took me to Sunday school, read me Bible stories, and taught me about Jesus. I can't recall a day when I didn't know how to pray or where to turn in times of need, but I haven't always been an avid "reader of the map" and have done my share of confused wandering. There have been abundant blessings along the way, along with abundant heartaches. A time or two I've stopped to ask directions. Sometimes I've been given good advice and other times well-intentioned people have either given bad directions or ignored me altogether.

Just like the wandering motorist searches for roads going in the right direction, a wandering soul looks for the right path too. There are some rough spots in the road ahead, potholes, ruts, and rocks, but on the other side is smoother pavement. I promise not to drag you all into my woes, but I would appreciate prayers for our safe arrival. And thank you.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing.
    You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy

Psalm 30:11 

I'm counting on a promise for the future.

Broken Glue Joints

I read the book, but I'm afraid I may have failed the exam... I could give you excuses, because I was (and still am) overtired, and it has been a very long week, but that doesn't really get me off the hook. My reactions to circumstances are my responsibility and I must own them. I may have prevailed over a missed airline flight, but perhaps I failed when poorly chosen words touched a painful, oozing wound. I tried to answer rightly, but the throbbing ache prevailed, and though I didn't lash out in the way I once might have, I lashed out just the same. What began as a week of rest and refreshment, has ended terribly bad in spite of apologies on both sides.

The "toucher of my wound" did not intend to cause me pain or grief, I knew that to start with, but isn't that often the way? How many times have I spoken a word or given a look that sent an unseen and unintended dagger into the heart of someone? Even someone I love?

 All too often, I'm afraid...

I have excuses and explanations, of course, but all of those matter very little right now. They don't heal the wounds, my own wounds, that festered to start with, and they are not a salve for these fresh wounds either. It doesn't matter that exhaustion or frustration play a part on either side, and it doesn't matter that one or both of us feel "trumped" by the other.

I have a headache and am infinitely more exhausted that I was Tuesday morning when I woke up in my own bed after my arrival home at 1am.

Please Pray

The little town of Webster, NY has surely seen it's share of pain and sorrow the past few years and last Saturday evening brought another tragic event. A horrendous car accident has left a seventeen year old girl in guarded condition, fighting for her life, while her friend and driver of the car faces felony charges. (Part of the story is here)

This story touches close to home too. The girl was once part of our church youth group, one led by my son and his wife. Her cousin is a personal friend. Two years ago they traveled "home" to Ukraine together and I know he is hurting too. He is away at medical school and probably not able to come home. I'm thankful to have been able to send him a note to tell him he is in my thoughts and prayers. The whole story makes me so sad...

A fund has been set up to help offset medical expenses. If you feel so inclined to donate, here is the link. And thank you for praying.

Honest to Goodness

Several years ago I read a book that changed my life. It shined a light on the importance of unconditionally respecting my husband, and thus enabling him to love me in a more effective way. James and I don't always get it right, and sometimes we're sent spinning on the "crazy cycle" of no love/ no respect no matter how hard we try. We don't always see things from the same perspective, but in spite of the setbacks that come along in life, we now know better how to get back to the right place. (Read the "crazy cycle" article or you can have the short definition here. "Craziness is when we keep doing the same thing - again and again - with the same ill effect.")

This weekend has brought up the subject of honesty and I'm thinking that being honest comes with a "crazy cycle" all it's own. We've all been taught and encouraged to tell the truth. No one wants to be lied to, but I find that expecting honesty from others comes with a requirement from me. Being honest necessitates making oneself vulnerable, vulnerable to the reaction of the recipient. As one seeking honesty from others, I have to understand that honesty can be extremely fragile, and often painful. As one seeking to be honest, I desperately need others to honor my efforts if at all possible. When my honesty is trampled or dishonored, future efforts to be truthful are much more strained and sometime even avoided altogether.

Thankfully, there is One with whom I can always be honest. He doesn't mock or belittle me, I don't have to worry that He will share my secrets. When I fail, I know the judgement for my sins and shortcomings has already been taken care of at the cross. He stands ready to love and forgive, and if I will accept His forgiveness, I find it much easier to love and forgive those who hurt and disappoint me, loving and accepting those whose background might be a little different from mine becomes a little more natural, and maybe, just maybe that will help me to make a difference in the world too.

Don't Go Breakin' My Heart

"You're breaking my heart." It was "somewhat" cute the first time, but manipulative just the same, and then her brother decided to try it out too. Children sure do have a vast array of tactics to play on the heartstrings of the adults in their lives. Just try to discipline a rambunctious youngster and he or she is sure to come up with a creative attempt to coerce you otherwise. Tearful pleas, negotiating, and angry threats. I've heard them all.

I learned much in the raising of my own children. I made plenty of mistakes, some of them out of sheer frustration, others out of complete exhaustion. I've found a simple "time out" chair to be quite effective (it doesn't leave welts...) as well as said child being left to cry it out, if my nerves (and those of others present) can handle it. One small child told me not so long ago, "I'll cry." I was unmoved and so he said, "I'll cry and get mad." I assured him the tactic would be ineffective and he didn't bother to try either one.

Disciplining children in crisis is hard. They are tired, they are frustrated and angry, and they are hurting emotionally. On top of that, they are little and naturally naughty. Consistency is of utmost importance and yet so hard to implement. I'm still searching for what works, especially for one soon to be four year old with a desperately hurting heart and bad attitude.