Phantom of the Opera

I have more good moments than bad, and my days are filled with smiles and laughter, however this has been a month where the gaping hole in my heart has made its presence felt more often. A friend at church asked how I was. "I'm mostly good, but there is still a gaping hole inside."  I answered as I placed a clenched fist against my chest, "It's been worse the past couple of weeks."

After talking for a few minutes, my friend looked at me and said, "It's Missing Limb Syndrome. A part of you has been severed and you are experiencing pain where missing part once was."

It makes sense. It makes perfect sense. This friend is absolutely right. Love doesn't automatically disappear, and everything inside of me has been programmed for a way of life that no longer exists. New patterns take time to establish, and a "new normal" doesn't happen overnight. A part of me will experience pain for the rest of my life, although time will bring smaller and less frequent waves. Learning to ride the waves, understanding why they exist, and trusting they have purpose are all imperative.

I am okay, and I will be okay tomorrow. God knows exactly what I need and He has never failed me yet.