The Bag Lady

Today life feels full of loss. It's hitting hard, knocking the wind out of me, and seems there is no escape, but earlier today God reminded me that He is a giver of good things and very often one must let go of what feels important in order to gain something of greater value. I want to hold on, but He is prying my fingers loose, and didn't I ask Him years ago to do this? I knew it would likely be painful, but I had no idea what it would entail...

I went out to my car on my break this afternoon and turned on the radio. K-LOVE, because they're positive and encouraging, I am blessed by the music and the announcers make me laugh. I turned it on just in time to hear Luis Palau mention Psalm 103, and he said to read it out loud. I haven't been taking my Bible to church lately because I can't see the pages clearly and the scriptures are posted on a giant screen up front, but yesterday I left for church early and took it along. It was still in the car, so I looked up Psalm 103 and read it. Out loud.

1 Bless the Lord, O my soul; And all that is within me, 
bless His holy name! 

2 Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: 

3 Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, 

4 Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, 

5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

 That's just the first five verses, but I felt better after having read them. I even fell asleep for ten or fifteen minutes before it was time to head back inside, and I needed it. I did a lot of crying last night and didn't sleep well. This morning I had giant bags under my eyes. I tried laying cucumber slices over them but if the bags got any smaller I didn't notice. 

I'm sure the tears aren't done falling, but I am doing my best to keep them turned off for tonight. I need sleep. I don't need any more bags under my eyes.

(Yes, I do know that is a man, and hopefully I didn't look that bad, but he was all I had for an illustration. Many thanks to my son Nathan and the Draw This blog of years gone by.)