It has been a busy week of "flower tending." Throw a migraine in the mix and it makes for one very tired "gardener." I am thankful today for both Benadryl, which helps me sleep through hideous headaches, and caffeine, which keeps me awake when I must not sleep. I am very much looking forward to laying my head on the pillow tonight and closing my eyes.It has been nice to have my sisters visit this week and I truly appreciate them. Rachel was here Tuesday, and Priscilla came for a visit this afternoon.
Mom occupies my old, blue chair most of the day. She reads her newspaper, sleeps, and referees the children playing in my living room. I am not entirely grateful for her watchful eye... My moments of escape to the computer are not quite the same lately as Mom often asks "Where's Martha?" I am still trying to figure out whether or not to feel guilty. Nah, I think I just won't.
I will admit it can be hard for me to sit down and have an extended conversation with Mom. My house is busy during the day and I am often back and forth between the kitchen and living room. By the time evening arrives I am ready to sit by the computer or settle into a chair with one of those books I'm still trying to finish. So far I have been able to run out to the store or the bank during the day if I need to, but I don't like to leave Mom alone for extended periods of time. Usually one of the kids is here or I know Rachel will be coming over. I'm not really even sure how clear Mom's thinking is. Sometimes she seems okay, and other times she leaves me very much confused. I am grateful not to be doing this totally alone. I think James just may be her biggest advocate. He reminds me to look at the bright side and wash the "FAIL" stamp back off my forehead. He reminds me to laugh and keep on going. It's hard to believe he and Mom were once mortal enemies. That is God at work.
I think James is a wise man, and I am praying you get a great nights sleep.
ReplyDeleteI am pooped and I only had the boys for two days. You are such an inspiration to me, as you deal with kids, and your mom, 24-7. I do remember those days when my sister and I cared for my mom after her diagnosis of leukemia.
Now I look back and wonder how we did it, we just did, cause she was our Mom and we loved her.
Blessing on you dear Martha.
Thank you, Wanda. I so appreciate your love, encouragement, and prayers.
ReplyDeleteMartha,
ReplyDeleteI greatly admire all you do on a daily basis, and sharing your thoughts and inspirations on your blog. I've often thought how difficult the whole "role reversal" thing is, now when our parents need our guidance and protection. The Lord is able, thankfully through it all!
You and James are doing a great thing, and I know it's not easy. I still want to motivate her to crochet or something. Her crochet stuff is there somewhere, isn't it? I wonder if her "refereeing" the children is her trying to feel useful. (I'm not saying she should do this) I feel sad that all she does is sit in a chair all day. Where does she get her sense of purpose?
ReplyDeleteYes, Judy, the role reversal thing is incredibly hard. It feels so unnatural after so many years of being the child, but I think Mom is as confused by it as I am. Please come visit her anytime. Visitors make her smile.
ReplyDeleteRachel, her crocheting supplies are here, as is a nearly finished afghan. How to motivate her is the question. I think she has lost her sense of purpose.
yeah...
ReplyDelete