I didn't know it was National Hugging Day when I chose a different coffee mug this morning. I don't typically take this one out of the house because it's special and I don't want to break it, but since I felt so much like I needed a hug, I took this one. It was given to me by my friend Dan who always has a hug and word of encouragement for me when I see him. I haven't seen him now in several weeks, so I took a hug in my mug instead.
I saw the therapist this evening. We're a little off our usual schedule due to my changing work schedule and our new baby, but God has perfect timing and He knew the perfect day. The conversation eventually made its way to the elephant in the room.
"Does the elephant belong to you or someone else?" he asked, and I had to think a bit... I had the sudden realization that there is more than one elephant in our family gatherings. Perhaps an entire herd. (And I thought getting rid of one was difficult/impossible.) Do I bring the elephant along? Are the elephants already there? Can I give them names? If we name them, can we talk about them easier. Can we tame them if we name them? Would that make talking easier?
Practicing vulnerability and honesty. It's a tough skill to learn after a lifetime of being guarded.
It sounds like you have a wonderful therapist and he gets right to the heart of the issues.
ReplyDeleteInteresting thoughts about the many elephants in the room.
Sue
It was a hard question, and it took me aback a little because I know I am far from perfect. I don't want to be the elephant keeper. I don't want to perpetuate pain, but I don't always know exactly how to promote healing. Facing the truths and issues before us isn't easy, but it doesn't change the truth when we refuse to acknowledge it. I am so grateful when he asks hard questions, even when they make me cry. I don't know if I/we will ever get beyond hurting, but at one point I couldn't imagine ever being able to be happy again. Thankfully, I have more good days than bad ones, and I know the biggest trigger. (I think that's what I'll name that particular "elephant." Trigger.)
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