Happy 84 in Heaven

Dear Mom,

Today was your birthday. I've been reflecting on your life, feeling a little sad about the ways we never connected, but blessed by the times and ways we did. It was as much my inability to scale the wall between us as it was yours, maybe mine even more so. Being I am a mom myself, I know you loved me through all of it even as your heart was aching. I hope you can forgive me for all the times I made you cry...

People say as we grow older we become more and more like our parents. I haven't always liked the idea, but that is only because I've often failed to see your beauty. I needed to back up a few paces and gaze upon a bigger picture, one with a clearer focus and better perspective. I've need to look at you from a different vantage point.

For years and years I watched you love people; big ones and little ones, those who belonged to you and those who didn't, the very young and the very old. You loved them all. Tomorrow I will enter classrooms full of children, I will gather toddlers into my arms and kiss their cheeks and foreheads. I will sniffle small ears and blow raspberries on little necks, and I will feel your presence with me. It's a funny thing to go about my day and feel as though you are literally living on inside of me.

Thank you, Mom. Thank you for loving me when I didn't feel or act lovable. Thank you for praying for me, and thank you for being with me every day. Turning into you is a blessing.

Love,
Martha