A God With Ears

Last week I wished God would speak to me out of the clouds in a loud and unmistakable voice. I wanted an answer to one question in particular. I shot up a desperate prayer, not really expecting an answer. At least not one I could hear clearly... But God works in mysterious ways. He answers when we least expect Him to, and very often in ways so obvious that it is harder to doubt than to believe.

Life is full of struggles and we are in the midst of one. For the past three years I've repeatedly asked God for answers. I have doubted His answers, argued His answers, and been confused by His answers. I've found that God's answers can take me by surprise, and also found that often they don't make any sense to me. Why would He ask me to do something that seems so opposed to what I might have expected? What is He attempting to accomplish? I have to admit I often don't have a clue.

I'm trying to obey, but not in a blind kind of way that does what is expected simply because it's just that. I'm here in this attic bedroom not because I'm running, but because I'm trying to do what He says. I understand it confuses some people, and I guess that has to be okay for now. God is writing "Martha's Story". He has a reason for all I am going through. I only need to trust Him... and that's hard.

So yeah. Last week I tossed an anguished prayer heavenward. I said something like, "If you don't want this meeting to happen, could you stop it? Maybe make it so that I can't leave work for those few hours?" Today one of our assistant teachers came into work, walked into the director's office, said,"I quit!" and walked out again. That leaves us with growing numbers of children (We had 59 for lunch today, the most all summer.) and short staffed. When I asked my boss if I was still covered for tomorrow's meeting she gave me a blank stare. I took the whole fiasco as the answer to last week's prayer and told her not to worry about it.

I feel okay right now. It doesn't mean the struggles are over, but it does give me peace about where I am today. Mostly I am in awe of His ability to answer my pleas in such an incredible way. He hears my cries and for that alone I am blessed.