It Was Cold Today

With school closed due to the arctic wind chill, we had a different kind of day at the center. No more than 31 children showed up, including our school age group. It was a more relaxed atmosphere and I had the rare privilege of going home 45 minutes early.

I've had two "much better than Monday and Tuesday" days. I know deep inside that grief comes in waves, but when it hits I am still overwhelmed. I also know I am not alone in my grief. Perhaps that is the biggest sorrow of all... It is just a part of why my heart is torn. I will be okay, but there will be days of intense pain in the process of getting there. I need to hurt, it's part of the healing, so please forgive me for the times when it bleeds through my writing.

Life is not all pain. There are hundreds of moments each day when I stop to soak in the blessings and remember to be thankful. Each little child, each hug, each smile... our sweet, soft babies, rascally toddlers, rambunctious preschoolers, and surly school age kids... I smile when our babies learn to walk, to talk, and say my name... We have one small child who calls me "Marka." Ha ha! When Sophia wrapped her little arms around my neck and said, "I luf you," my heart melted a little. I love the children, my coworkers, and my boss. I am thankful for my kitchen and the time I get to spend in the classrooms. It's a good place to be.

I am thankful for week days and week ends, for church on Sunday mornings, my step study on Monday nights, and the pottery studio. I am thankful for our counselor, my sisters, and my attic bedroom. I am thankful for my kids, for the cabinetmaker, and for my friends. I am blessed by the blog and my blog friends, and I'm even thankful for Facebook. And right now, I am thankful it isn't yet 11 o'clock and that my teeth are already brushed. I'm ready to turn out the light and go to sleep. Thanks for being there, guys.