A Little On the Sleepy Side

It has been an incredibly exhausting two weeks. Sunday we went to calling hours and yesterday was the funeral service and luncheon. Around 2:15 pm we headed out on a journey to Toronto where James' aunt had to catch bus which would take her another two hours north. Both the E-Z Pass I bought for NY City and the licenses we had enhanced, were put to good use. The trip to Toronto and back took about 7 1/2 hours, and on our way home we stopped to say our final goodbyes to family that were leaving town today. (And enjoy some stuffed artichokes.)

I found it nearly impossible to sleep last night. When I closed my eyes I saw highway lights passing by, and when the lights weren't there my brain wouldn't rest. I must say that in spite of the original news story going nationwide (one family member said it was on the news in southern California), the media kept their distance this weekend.The church was packed and there were more people at the cemetery than I had expected. My own brain just keeps replaying old memories along with the events of the past two weeks. It still seems more like a terrible nightmare than real life.

Being with the family was healing for me. I find myself constantly vacillating back and forth between being childhood friend and present family member, not knowing quite where to fit in. I do know that I love my old friends become family and they love me. We've told each other so this time, and I can't imagine it any other way.