One Looonnnngggg Weekend

The past week has felt like one very long, stretched out weekend. Not quite a vacation, but a very long weekend. Yesterday was the toughest day. Emotionally drained and looking for sunshine, instead we had rain and gray skies. I spent the better part of my day sorting through and rearranging boxes, taking them out of the attic, and putting them in the attic. When it's all said and done I still won't know where anything is, but hopefully I'll have less of it. Or at least it will take up less space. Ha ha!

Late in the afternoon I took myself around the block. I needed to walk it out, so while Hannah, Sergio, and Idris took a ride to pick up some pizza, I walked up Mohawk Street and then all the way around the block, back to the same end of Mohawk, and home again. Our timing was impeccable.

During the evening we watched a movie. I can't remember if it was Disney's "Onward" or "Guardians of the Galaxy"... We watched them both this weekend, but I typically half-watch. Rarely does a movie get my full attention. Last night I was busy coloring, which I haven't done since I moved here almost three years ago. I was determined to finish the pages I started last time I had the book out.

Today was a better day. I got up, showered, and dressed for church. Yup, I did. Then I gathered some breakfast and a cup of coffee and climbed back into bed for church online. Maybe I can persuade my people to do Easter Sunday with me next week. I haven't pushed anything church yet. Haven't even really put my toes in the water...

I found a new friend request on my Facebook this morning. Almost thought it was a mistake, and then recognized the name as one of my fellow CNA class members from five years ago. We had a really nice time catching up through private messages. I've had a tendency to walk through life feeling as though my presence makes little to no difference to those around me, like I'm invisible, but this past acquaintance blessed me by saying, " I remember you very well from blossom view. You are/were such a kind soul! Hoping life has been good for you." And then I remember that God is very good and He works in ways we cannot see.

One of yesterday's frustrations was my inability to find or order a new pair of prescription reading glasses, because you know, optical stores are "non-essential." I've been without my good reading glasses for months, even though I've looked literally everywhere and even tried to replace them. More recently I noticed another missing item; an afghan I started a few years back. It was a lot of work and nowhere to be found. As luck would have it, the mind never rests, and I began to wonder if my glasses might be lost with my afghan instead of separate from it. Where would a lost bag be if not in my room? Why under my never worn winter coat, of course! And there were my glasses in the bag too. (I think God was snickering.)

Another short walk today, a little raking out the front flower garden, and a bit of driveway drawing. Idris has been trying out shortened names for us. Mommy isn't much on the grown up sounding terms of "Mom" and "Dad" (which I think are cute), but I'm kind of liking the sound of "Gram" especially when it comes with a sideways smile.

Little By Little We Get to the Middle (It's Wednesday!)

Today turned out much better than yesterday. I'm still tired, but not as wiped out as yesterday. My knee, which started acting up after I came home yesterday afternoon, was able to carry me around and help me get tasks completed without too much resistance. A knee brace proved helpful.

I found my heart a little sad today as I watched two CNA's care for one of our residents. They chatted amongst themselves while our patient looked back and forth from one to the other. She'd tearily (That's my own word) asked to go to bed after lunch and they were obliging her wish, but also forgetting that she needed to be recognized and acknowledged in the process. I'm sure they didn't mean to overlook her. I don't think they even noticed. After they left the room I went back in to toss my gloves in the trash, but mostly give my friend a hug, tell her not to cry, that I love her (You fall in love quick..), and kiss her on the head. :(

When I had a few minutes I held the hand of another resident who was aching for a few minutes of undivided attention. When I hugged her she asked if she could go home with me. "My family doesn't want me anymore," she said, "because I poop my pants." She didn't smell bad and she continued to hold tightly to my hand. I reassured her the best I could, told her that she had friends here and that we love her. I thought again about my mom who always hugged her nursing home friends when she and Dad made their weekly visits. I remembered how she told me there are some who never get a hug or a kiss on the cheek anymore. I know I can't meet the need of everyone every day, but I can do a little bit as I walk through, as I answer call bells, and as I do cares. I hope I never get so distracted by my coworkers that I forget why I am there in the first place. I know it would be all to easy to do.