Family Time

Monday, February 24, 2025

It was a whirlwind weekend. Jim flew into town on Friday afternoon to join the family in watching Grandmanita's Celebration of Life in Halifax via Zoom on Saturday afternoon. On Friday my kids gathered here and we cooked breakfast for dinner, or "brinner" as Hannah calls it. We had French toast, sausage and bacon, hash brown patties, and fruit salad. 

We had an easy time connecting to the Celebration of Life but the sound did not come through loud and clear. Computer programs are designed to filter "background noise" and they can get confused as to what should be filtered. The closer the mike was held to a mouth, the better we could hear. It was pretty amazing to see family scattered across the two countries.

Jim asked on Friday evening if he could go to church with me on Sunday. I picked him up yesterday morning on my way into the city. It felt amazing to have him there with me. It's been a long time since any of my kids sat with me through a regular church service. We stopped at an Italian bakery (Leo's) on the way home and the family gathered again mid afternoon for some chili and a final evening together. 

Friday, February 28, 2025

James's oldest sister was in town for the week. I saw her briefly on Saturday afternoon when I went over to Bethany's house a couple hours after the Celebration of Life. She was sitting at the table in the kitchen where a game of Scrabble was being played. I said hello, she answered, and then leaned over and whispered in my son Dave's ear, asking him to take her around the corner to a cousin's house. She hugged the family, said her goodbyes without looking at or addressing me, and went out the door. This is divorce. I hadn't seen her since Jim and Michele were married in 2013. She made no attempt to see Hannah while she was in town, much, I think, to Hannah's relief. 

Our world feels turned upside down lately. My country feels strange and scary... a large portion of the church feels cold and callous... I no longer recognize people I have known for years... I fear for friends and neighbors... and my children and grandchildren... I am ashamed of our leadership... In another week or so we will welcome a new little life into our home. We will wrap him in our arms and pray for his safety and success. We will love him and teach him to love others, especially the least of them.

 

More Bits and Pieces

 * Unbeknownst to me, three of my offspring boarded a plane last weekend and flew from Toronto to Halifax, Nova Scotia. (They're all grown up and allowed to go where they will, but as a mom, I wish they would let me know when they take off like that...) They went to find their dad and three aunties. The flight back to Toronto on Sunday was cancelled due to inclement weather and they weren't pleased with the offering of a flight back on Thursday, so they rented a car in Halifax and caravanned home through the northeastern snowstorm with their dad who had driven up the day after his mom's passing. In spite of ice and freezing rain, a pile up on I-90 early Monday, and blowing snow, they arrived home safely Monday night. On Tuesday my daughter took the Canadian rental car back to the Toronto Airport to retrieve her brother's car. (Photo of the lighthouse at Peggy's Cove borrowed from my son Ben.)

* We have been plunged into the deep freeze. Ice and snow on Sunday. Churches closed and the roads were treacherous. I picked up my son Joe at his apartment around 1pm and we drove to Bethany's house to pick up the keys to Ben's apartment. We fed Smoky and hung out with her for a while before heading into Rochester to see Nathan and his band play a show. (I'd purchased tickets ahead of time not knowing the weather.) After the show we returned the keys to Beth's house and went home. 

* Monday was bitter cold but the sun was shining bright when I returned home from work. It seemed a shame to waste the beautiful day so I donned my boots, winter coat, hat, neckie, and warm gloves and took a walk down by the lake. I did not stay long, just long enough to walk from the parking lot at the top of the hill, down the hill and across to the little bridge over the creek. My fingers ached with the cold but I persevered and came home with some nice photos. Without the neckie protecting my neck, chin, cheeks, and nose, I would not have made it that far. 

* It's been a week of snow and arctic temperatures (much of it wind chill), and my coworkers are "so over the snow!" I'll be over it in another month but have purposed to enjoy the cold of February. It will be summer in no time at all and then we will complain about being "too hot!" 

* Family in town this weekend. It remains to be seen how many with whom we'll connect. We're all hoping to join the Celebration of Life in Halifax via Zoom on Saturday, along with a bazillion others scattered across the continent in both Canada and the US.  Prayers are appreciated.

Bits and Pieces

 * I picked up my fused glass nightlight this afternoon. It turned out beautiful for a first time project. The only problem is half our electrical outlets were installed upside down. (Thanks, Dad! LOL!) Thankfully, there are a few, installed in more recent years, upside up.

* A bit of snow is expected through tomorrow. I'm planning to meet a friend at church in the morning and attend a show where my son's band is playing in the afternoon. You've got to love February in Rochester.

* My newest grandbaby will be making his arrival in the next few weeks. It never gets old.

The Afghan...

Are the threads being untangled, or becoming more hopelessly knotted together? And what good is one long, untangled thread, even rolled into a nice, neat ball? Is it not through the weaving and knotting of yarn that the afghan grows? 

(Quite honestly, I am processing as I write. I originally thought untangling was the goal, but am coming to think perhaps they are meant to be wound together...) 

I have often found (or thought) myself on the fringe, connected on one side, yet feeling totally disconnected on another. It's the deep seated childhood fear of being unimportant and all but invisible... Because of our divorce, I do not have the same place in my husband's family. There is a raw edge between us, connected by a few threads. This is the way of life after divorce, but it does not make it less painful. I am grateful for the years of healing, healing tears, and my eldest son's Face-time call from Halifax this past July. I am looking forward to more healing. 

Every strand woven make the tapestry more colorful, yes? Grandma was a strand of bright and brilliant color. I only hope to be a little bit like her in all the best ways.

Another Farewell

What do I say about this goodbye? Another long anticipated crossing over? Thoughts are many but my mind simply doesn't know which way to process this today... It will come in bits and pieces, a few tears here, and few more there...

My son called while I was at work this morning. He wanted to tell me about his grandma's passing in person... "When I was little it felt like I couldn't do anything right," he said. "But when Grandmanita was around, I couldn't do anything wrong." I've been contemplating that all afternoon... What a beautiful gift to leave a grandchild... She was so full of excitement, laughter and encouragement...

Grnadmanita taught me so, so much. Lessons on encouraging others, on accepting those who were different, and on loving myself as well.  She would compliment me and when I blushed or rebuffed her comment, her admonition was, "Say, 'Thank you, I know.'" It was a hard lesson to learn... 

Memories are wonderful gifts. Remembering helps us process grief and loss. Remembering things like my 8 year old daughter getting a toaster, a used one, I think, for Christmas... We have laughed about it for 30 years now. It was a most memorable holiday surprise... LOL!

Lots of tributes on Facebook today... She was well loved.

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

It feels as if our world is falling apart around us... but in the midst of our governmental chaos, I went out and forgot about all our troubles for a few hours. My friend and neighbor, Beth, invited me to attend a fused glass class with her. She'd been eager to try it and asked me about it when we were out together in December. It sounded like fun and so I agreed.

I went into the class with no expectation at all. On the table were sheets and shards of colored glass, all kinds of glass beads, and glass straws. I picked up pieces of green and red glass, fingered rainbow colored beads, and stared at straws of orange, blue and yellow... 

Years back I dreamed of broken glass mosaics... I have a Pinterest board dedicated to brokenness... I even bought a nipper and a pair of goggles, but I although my own broken pieces are coming back together, I hadn't yet put it into a picture. Not until yesterday. It's a fabulous beginning.