The Life I Now Live

It's nothing like I ever imagined, getting up and going to work every day instead of watching grandchildren and gardening. I don't prepare the meals or bake cookies. I don't organize the house or wash the floors. I get up each morning and go to work. It's not anything like I thought it would be. The children I imagined would fill my days do not. In fact, in many ways we hardly know each other. Instead I spend my days with children who will, in all likelihood, soon forget me altogether. It's a difficult truth, but it doesn't make loving them any less important.

No doctor appointments this week. I might finally work a full 40 hours. Next week are my follow up appointments from last week's tests. I've been reassured by a retired doctor friend regarding my echocardiagram. He says trace and minor heart valve regurgitations are not uncommon, and mine are not likely to be causing any problems at present. My heart looks good and blood work has all come back without any major issues. I'm pretty sure the cardiologist will agree.

A dear childhood friend called me on Friday afternoon to deliver some news. This friend was recently diagnosed with stage 4, inoperable, liver cancer. I am stunned and saddened. I don't see her often but she is dearly loved. Life is rarely predictable...

The passing of a distant family member caught me off guard this afternoon. She left behind a husband and four, some of them adult, children. The news was unexpected and heartbreaking.

It was a cold weekend but the sun came out today and the toddler rooms were able to go outside on the playground. Any day with outside time is a good day. Almost everyone took a nap. Almost. We have one small child who did not. She was not tired. Thankfully, she was quiet so her friends could sleep.