So, Yeah....

I'm not always sure about going to CoDA... and then something happens that takes me back again. Yesterday morning on my way out of church I spotted a familiar face. My mind started spinning and, what do you know? I found not one, but two CoDA friends. "CoDA is not about being selfish," one reminded me, "It's about self care." And it was good to hear, because sometimes I forget. Not because I am trying to be selfish, but because I desperately don't want to be.

This evenings conversation/sharing had me reflecting on some of the ways CoDA has been helpful to me. I've learned to step away and not let the actions and opinions of others effect me in quite the manner they once did and I can answer an accusation without getting as flustered. I'm realizing people sometimes think they know a situation when in actuality, they don't and it's okay to tell them that without any other explanation.

I'm learning
 to listen without needing to interrupt. We had a (mediated) family meeting a little over a week ago. I listened to various family members share thoughts, feelings, and pains without feeling like I needed to explain or offer up a defense. They can have feelings and viewpoints different than mine and it's okay.

It's also okay for me not to be drawn into the dramas and dilemmas of those around me. We all have issues, we're all adults, and we all need to learn how to face life head on. If I can do it, so can they. If they need my help, they are welcome to ask, just like I can ask for help when I need it. And it's just as okay for them to say no as it is for me to decline if I am not able, even if the reason doesn't appear to make sense.

Photos taken at a nearby farm market. I think I want a flower garden like this! Or maybe I just want to wander through it and take pictures.