Soul Surgery

12 Steps of Co-Dependents Anonymous

Step 4- Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5- Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6- Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Step four is a tough one, especially without a sponsor. It's been nine months of hearing the steps and being almost too numb to put them into practice... although, in some ways Step 4 is what this adventure in blogging has always been about; looking deep within and seeing my own imperfections in relationships with others (neighbors, friends, siblings, husband, children...). Sometimes I pass the test and other times I fail. Sometimes I fail miserably. Sometimes I can look back and immediately feel good about the exchange, and other times I need to re-evaluate and decide again whether or not my response was right. A right response doesn't always make me or the other party happy. I wish it always did.

Am I ready to have God remove all my defects of character? That is a good question. It's a life long battle this art of letting go. I've had to ask Him in the past to pry my fingers back just so I could see what I was holding onto... Perhaps some things never change.