My favorite daughter in law showed up with a little present the other day. (You'd think I was an actual addict or coffee snob... ) My Leta has an uncanny knack for finding little gifts to show her love. She is a sweetheart.
When tomorrow is over and done I will have worked 15 of the 30 days in September. It's not hard work, unless one counts sitting on their backside for nearly eight hours a day laborious. It is more taxing on my patience and mental endurance than it is physically strenuous. My friend can not see and she is not strong in the physical sense. She does not converse easily and, although she doesn't like to be alone, the murmur of a crowd, and sometimes the television, sets her on edge. Like I have mentioned before, she prefers to be prone, and that is "prone to laying in bed" which leaves me sitting in a chair trying desperately to stay awake. I am not always totally successful and my butt muscles are beginning to ache.
I'm finding myself a little bit lost this week. The excitement of the month has died down, and the activities that kept me distracted from my own "dark woods" are gone. No details, just an earnest plea for prayer.
I found myself tired and somewhat impatient today. It's hard to tell if all the activities of the past month have finally caught up with me, if I am just tired, or if the anniversary of my father's passing is making me feel weepy and nostalgic. Monday, the anniversary of Dad's passing, is "Wear Dad's Shirt Day." I have to work. I'm going to wear Dad's shirt anyway.
Forgive me a few more wedding photos (and maybe an extra blog or two today) as I sort through "brain files" and get used to having an empty nest. The funny thing is my nest has never been empty, not even to start with. Jimmy came along very
soon after we were married (he just turned 34 yesterday) and we did a great job of filling our house with noise and activity. There were many times I was exhausted and longed for a break, but I loved having kids. They make great friends as adults, even if I do have to let them grow up and fly away. Letting them grow up and start their own lives has not been so difficult. I've let go gradually through the years, but now the house is strangely empty and the girls and boys who once accompanied me on trips to the store, the ones who listened to me ramble on and ate the cookies I baked, they've all grown up.
All is not lost and I am blessed, because I have a good relationship with my grown up kids. They still love me, in spite of myself, and they don't seem to mind hanging out with me on occasion. I haven't seen them roll their eyes or heard them groan when I come around the corner, even if I do have a secret fear of that happening. I desperately want us to be best friends and I desperately miss the funny things they say and their crazy antics. I hate being without them and love seeing them grow up all in the same moment. I'm proud of who they are and I am blessed to be their mom. And I still want to hide away in a corner somewhere and have a good cry.
In the end several leftover pieces went into the trash. They were already on plates. So sad. (I actually heard myself say, "Goodbye, cake...") However, the story ended on a happy note. We left a good sized piece of cake for the park caretaker and took almost half a vanilla cake home. Oh, my! I had almost as hard a time sharing that as I did sharing my camera. Maybe even harder.
*sigh*
Every wedding is unique. Rather than a long gown, Hannah chose a simple knee length dress and it was adorable. We were blessed with summer temperatures, a calm lake, and a quiet, all but deserted park. The guests were wonderfully varied and I smiled when after the ceremony the bride and groom were introduced first in English by my son Ben, and then in Spanish by Sergio's brother Carlos.
Rather than a unity candle, the new couple decided to symbolize their union by pouring sands of different colors into a picture box. Hannah had tried to find something suitable in the store, but in the end her dad ended up building one and that was pretty special in and of itself. I'd not yet seen this done at a wedding, but Hannah and Sergio had been to one last year where the bride and groom did this but that couple added a third color of sand poured by the bride's young child.
I find it hard to sit and wait when there is so much to be done. The mother of the bride is supposed to be the one planning, running, organizing, and delegating. I am not good at those things. More often than not folks have looked at me like, "You've got to be kidding me..." and so I never learned this valuable life skill.
Work was interesting as always. My dear friend had a few hallu- cinations yesterday. At one point she looked toward me and said, "Where is your head?" to which I replied, "It's on my shoulders." She was somewhat exasperated with my answer and I asked her where she expected it to be... Apparently she was "seeing" someone with a severe head injury and was terribly concerned. At one point she said it might be her son, and then whoever it was turned into "a man" or "the patient." She was no less impressed when I tried to humor her by saying I didn't have any patience. (It was a long day by then and the last half hour or so is the longest, especially when there is company waiting at home.)
I have precious little time to sit and write with my computer on my lap, and hours to sit idle at work without it. (Something not right about that picture...) While my friend sleeps I eat my lunch, read, do crossword puzzles, or crochet. In July, I made a practice blanket, a tiny, one skein, purple afghan, just the right size for my little granddaughter who now uses it to keep warm on blustery days. Now I'm working on an adult sized afghan. The yarn is called "Peacock" and is pretty and soft and might take the rest of my life to complete.
So, last night we had a little gathering and showered Hannah with a few gifts. The girls kept it simple which was really very nice. No games, no silliness, or at least not much, just some food and friendship. Bethany surprised me by asking if I would say a prayer for Hannah and Sergio. (Nothing like being put on the spot. ha ha! Like I could say no.)
It was dark by the time we left for home (funny how that's happening more and more these days... ) but not especially late. Our sweet Jakie tuned 3 years old in the midst of the activity. He has two special days regarding his arrival, the day of his birth and the day of his homecoming. Sometimes we like to switch them up a bit. This year we're going to party on his Homecoming Day.
My Facebook newsfeed is full of babies. Six of my "friends" have had grand- children born in the past month. One got a grandson, one was blessed twin granddaughters. As you know, I was also honored to receive a new granddaughter. She arrived on September 3rd, three days late. Because of her brother's traumatic birth and subsequent Group B strep infection, she spent a little bit of time in the special care nursery. Thankfully, she went home on schedule, and thankfully her mommy and daddy came up with a name to call her, Jillian Mariah. Little "Jilly Bean."
It's been an interesting week at "The Playground." My dear friend has occasional bouts with severe hallucinations and such was the case this week. She'd been up all night calling out, keeping any nearby residents awake, and causing a general disturbance. This woman, who is typically short on conversation, talked all day Monday and slept very little. Yesterday she, along with several others, was totally exhausted. (No surprise there.) A bit of chaos reigned in the facility.
Monday evening's dinner found "Ricky" mis- behaving. He glared across the table at "Sandy Man". "Stop taking my stuff!" he growled. "
Sandy Man" stared blankly back at "Ricky" who then reached across the table
and started to take "Sandy Man's" glass of water. When the attending aide
attempted to intervene, "Ricky" became combative. He subsequently won the
fight for the glass of water which he then threw all over the
unsuspecting aide.
At any rate, the first Martha lives here, takes care of house and home, tends to family matters, and has roughly the same circle of friends as her husband. Roughly. The second Martha was born back in March when she went off to take a class and earn her place in the world as a Certified Nurse Assistant. Not a high place, but a place none the less. This Martha goes off to work and mingles in other residences, assists in taking care of other people's business, and has a circle of friends and acquaintances her own family has probably never met. (It's a little weird for me, but perfectly normal for all of you who have worked outside of your home for years already.)
Martha #1 is a little shaken up in her life schedule, while Martha #2 is oblivious to her "not totally evil" twin. Always stopping to remember "it's not Friday," Martha #1, who was struggling with scheduling to start with, is never quite sure when to clean the house or do the grocery shopping. Martha #2 need only remember to don work clothes on the correct mornings and pack a bagged lunch. She sits in a home she need not dust, visits with absolute strangers, and, so far, has not been asked to do their shopping. (And here in the story I am reminded of the fact that my great grandfather married two Marthas, my own great grandma being referred to by some as "the 2nd Martha. But I digress...)
Almost everyone showed up (that was pretty cool) and my dear, sweet Bethany went over and above by coming out to bless her sister and share her new baby. There is no ice breaker (not that there was ice to begin with) quite like a brand new baby. Aunt Leta had a turn first, and then Bethany set the little one in the arms of Sergio's mother. It was sweet. His niece J. was especially thrilled to hold baby Jillian (Yes! She has a name!!!). I'd purposely left my camera inside for this occasion, but couldn't resist a few photos of the baby with this sweet little girl.
I learned that four year old girls and boys eat dessert in totally different manners. (No pun intended...) T. literally inhaled his, I think his bottom scarcely graced the bench before he was finished, while Aubrey took nice little bites. We all laughed later when T. pointed at Aubry and said she had something on her face. They had identical chocolate marks surrounding their lips.
... in two weeks.
Dresses, suits, flowers, and food... Cake, cookies, and cousins... Invitations, decorations, officiant... Plans, parties, place... Guests, tables, chairs... Rings, license, vows... Photographers...
1. I'm waiting to hear... Waiting, waiting. (Come on, Baby!)
4. Going into ketosis. Maybe that's why I feel spacey. Maybe I can lose a few pounds before the wedding.
7. We're out of bottled water
