Forks in the Road

Yesterday was cold and rainy. I woke up early, headed to the bathroom, and found the heater running. The windows were wide open letting the cold, outside morning air in and ushering out not only the warmer air from the previous evening, but the furnace warmed air as well. I shut the windows and made the reluctant call into work.

Can I tell you that I hate letting others down. Reliable is my middle name. Once I make a commitment, I hate turning back. I know all too well already how it is to work minus even one CNA on our floor. Even with that knowledge and the drive to be committed, I knew there was no way I was going to make it through another 12 hour day on Sunday. No amount of coffee was going to push me through. I was finished. No matter how much I wanted it, I just didn't have it in me yesterday.

I am quickly coming to the realization that maybe my mind and body are not going to get used to this schedule. I can push through when there is nothing else on the plate, but if life dishes up anything extra, I will eventually crash and burn.

I made it through last week, but on Saturday I was running on just fumes. I have some options to explore, options that might relieve some of the physical exertion and yet keep me busy caring for and encouraging the elder population. I would appreciate your prayers, especially if I have to make a change in direction.

How 'bout the bug bites on those babies? It's black fly season in the Adirondacks.