The Big Day

The big day has finally arrived. Mom will have her first cataract surgery done this afternoon. Since starting the eyes drops three days ago, she has asked multiple times about what they are going to do and when it is going to happen. I find it difficult to answer her questions and don't know quite how to humor her. At one point she said she thought it would be good to know since it was concerning her, but she just doesn't appear to retain the information. I am not good at lying and so I have been known to pretend I didn't hear or avoid her gaze.

When I was young, my mom was always pretty sharp. I didn't dare try to pull off anything that might get me into big trouble, nor did I think I could long get away with fooling her. She didn't miss much, and sometimes she even filled in the blanks with things that didn't belong. Assuming herself to be an excellent sleuth, she often made wrong assumptions about us or others. Perhaps this is why I prefer to give people a wide berth and go with the benefit of the doubt, the polar opposite of what my mother sometimes allowed. Rather than being confident in others and myself, I am often hesitant and unsure.

I woke Mom "early" this morning in order that she could eat breakfast and take her daily medications. It was 8:05 am when I tapped lightly on her shoulder. "What's going on?" she asked. I smiled and turned silently away. She couldn't have heard me had I answered. I cooked some scrambled eggs and toasted half a bagel, mixed up her coffee, and set half a banana on the table while she dressed and made her bed. Rather than explain why she didn't have a water pill in her medicine cup, I replaced it with a Vitamin D instead. They look the same to her. Perhaps, if I practice, I will eventually catch on to this bit of fibbing...

I will be relieved to have this first surgery behind us. It is the more expensive of the two as we chose to go with a Toric lens for the right eye. It's supposed to fix her astigmatism. She won't need that for the left eye as it isn't as bad. We have two months worth of eye drops ahead of us. That'll have us finishing up right about the end of April, and although I am looking forward to improved eyesight for Mom, in order that she be able to do her puzzles and once again enjoy the birds outside her window, it also comes with a bit of trepidation. I hope her refined visual abilities do not find me regretting her renewed capacity to recognize my failures as a housekeeper, dog groomer, and babysitter.