Outta Here

Tomorrow My Darling and I will be "outta here". We are going away for a quiet week by ourselves. I'd tell you where we're headed but there is something more fun about keeping it a secret. I will tell you we are going to the Finger Lakes but since there are eleven total and they fan across the area of NY state south and between Rochester and Syracuse, I doubt you could find us anyway. We plan to walk, fish, sleep, and relax. Sounds nice, huh?

This morning we took James' mom to Buffalo to meet her friend Pat who took her on to Toronto where she caught a plane back home to Nova Scotia. Before parting we shared breakfast at Cracker Barrel where I ate a breakfast like no other. Not sure I've ever had fried apples before. They sure were yummy! With James' surgery, recuperation, and time off work, our visit this time around wasn't quite as relaxed as some others. I hope Grandmanita knows it had nothing to do with her and we love her very much. I always love when she comes to visit and I miss her again already.

I'm signing off until Saturday evening. Priscilla will be here with Mom, the kids, and the animals while we make our escape. I am so grateful for my sisters who have agreed to help us out this month. Taking time away would be much more difficult without them.

Drawing a Blank

I must say that all too often I come to write and end up staring at a blank screen with an equally blank mind. It isn't that nothing is happening in my life or that I have nothing worthy of sharing, but recent events have left me not only tired but unsure how to put into words what I am thinking and feeling. Often the thoughts most forward in my mind remain unspoken. Such has been the case in recent weeks.

I still struggle with emotions that well up over the relational difficulties within our family. I miss the two small tornadoes that occasionally tore through our home and their little sister as well. I am sad when I stop to realize that I have basically missed the last six months of my granddaughter's life. Mostly I try not to think about it, but she will celebrate her first birthday in a little over two weeks and that leaves a painful lump in the back of my throat. It isn't that I don't try to reach out and it isn't that I haven't seen them at all, it is mostly that I am making an attempt to figure out where the line is. The line of backing off and reaching out can sometimes be difficult to see.

A week or so ago my son got beaten up in a bar. Drunk and an instigator, he chose the wrong female to harass and someone knocked his lights out. I understand he woke up in the hospital and couldn't even remember what happened. This is the son who sets a fatherly example for my three small grandchildren. This is the son who only a few years ago sat by the bedside of his dying grandfather and read scripture. This is the son who lead the junior high youth group at church just four years ago. I love him to death and I am heartbroken by the choices he is making. He wants me to be proud of the man he has become... I can be impressed by his landscaping skills, enthralled with his cooking, and touched by his love for his children, but I am afraid that the man he hopes to be is fading into what should have been instead. Where is the son who made me proud? What has happened to my boy?

My mom has spent the last week and a half at Rachel's house so that James and I could have some down time and recover from his recent surgery. I have to say that giving my brain a rest from the responsibility of caring for Mom has been much appreciated. Next week Priscilla will come to stay here at our house with Mom while James and I take some time away from home. Our initial thought of traveling up the coast of Maine to Nova Scotia is not feasible at this time, so we will be spending some time instead hidden away at a Bed and Breakfast in the Finger Lakes. We're planning on taking some fishing poles along. Maybe I will finally get a start on that plan to love fishing.

W is for ....

W is for wedding. (Surprised?)

There is nothing quite like watching one's own child get married. Somehow, those are the most beautiful of ceremonies and this past wedding was no less beautiful than the weddings of my other two children. I loved the ceremony, I loved the cookie reception afterward, and I loved the small "mostly family" dinner reception.

I loved the dancing. I loved watching my son and his bride dance, I loved watching the wedding party dance, and I loved watching my kids and husband dance. Maybe I even loved winning the longest married couple dance ... :)

My son is young, his new wife is young, and they are very much in love. They have a lifetime of possibilities ahead. I think I am going to love watching them grow together for a very long time.

For more ABC Wednesday fun, click here.

Ladybug

Toe Party

Since there was going to be a wedding, a pedicure was in order. Since I am frugal, I did it myself.

I picked out a pearly white color that I don't really know the name of. (Is it really important to know these things?) I didn't want anything too crazy or obnoxious going on with my feet while my son was getting married... I am no professional when it comes to doing a pedicure, but my feet aren't too ugly to start with so that helps.

My friend Rocky thought she'd like her toenails painted up pretty too, so we picked out a bright pink to match her shirt. She was very pleased with the results.

To join the party, come on over to Betsy's place!

Out and About Again

James felt like taking a drive tonight so we went for a ride down Lake Road to Sodus Point.

We stopped at the lighthouse overlooking the point. Had I not been feeling antsy, it would have been the perfect night to just sit on a bench, gaze at the water, and wait for the sun to set.

Instead we decided to check out the beach down by the pier.

The evening lost some of its serenity in the bustle of activity and stench of yucky water, and we didn't stay long.

But, perhaps one quiet evening My Darling and I will escape to watch the sun sink into the horizon.

A Little Bit of Nothing

Today I did a little bit of nothing. I fed Emma some cereal and put her on the school bus, I held a bottle for one small child, and I played with my little friend Andrew. I did not vacuum the dust bunnies that are multiplying under the furniture. I did not remove the layer of dust accumulating on my shelves. I did wash a sink full of dishes and run a load of laundry. I made my bed but I skipped my shower. I sipped coffee and picked up toys. I glanced at the computer a time or two and I took a short nap. Now it is time to climb back into my bed and curl up next to My Darling. Our week has been thrown a little off kilter. Not only were there the festivities of the weekend, but he had a bit of surgery Tuesday morning which has left him sore and moving at a slower clip. Somehow I feel a little bit behind in my activities too.

Intense

It has been an intensely sleepy week. My Darling had an appointment yesterday morning at the hospital. I went along and had an absolutely terrible time keeping my eyes open and head upright. I desperately wanted to find a dark quiet corner to curl myself into, but it was not to be. Instead I sipped my coffee and hoped the fatigue would eventually dissipate. Today I woke bright and early, showered, and found myself presentable when Emma arrived. I even poured my coffee early, but the sleepies made a return visit and I collapsed on the couch.

Mid afternoon I wandered outside to find something to distract my tired mind, a flower garden full of weeds stared at me from the corner of the house. It looked just as overwhelming as it did last week, but today I opted to see if any improvements could be made. These things can't be ignored forever, even if it is allergy season. I think I put a pretty good dent in the weed population. Now if only they weren't quite so prolific.

V is for Visitors

V is for visitors. Where there is a wedding, there will be visitors. I like visitors, especially these visitors. Two came from Minnesota, and one came from Nova Scotia. They made the weekend all the more enjoyable. :)

For more ABC Wednesday fun, click here.

Tried and True

The Married Couples' Dance... Yup, they called all the married couples to the dance floor. Nate and Sabrina made a mad dash for each other and the music began to play. Round the floor twirled the happy couples and then began the process of elimination. "Anyone married less than 24 hours." "Five Years." "Ten years."

I had never played this game before, at least I didn't recall playing. I looked around the room. It was small crowd. There were only a few grandmas and grandpas dancing. I looked at My Darling and smiled. "You know, we have a pretty good chance of being the longest married couple," I said. He didn't think so, but I knew something he didn't know...

"Twenty-five years," called the DJ and the parents of the bride took their seats. Round the floor went My Darling and I and the parents of the bride's father. I was getting nervous. "Thirty years," and the last remaining grandma and grandpa left the floor. (A second marriage will do that...) We were asked how long we have been married. "Thirty-one years June 20th." The rest of the song was ours to dance alone. On and on sang Kenny Rogers and on and on we danced, ... or tried to. I do have two left feet and become extremely self-conscious when all eyes are on me. I looked at James, I smiled, I talked to him. I desperately tried to ignore the watching throng...

Finally the dance was over and the bride and groom were called to face us. We were asked to give the newly wed couple some advice on making a successful marriage. There in front of us stood my grown up boy and his beautiful wife and our minds went blank. James tried to hand me the microphone, but I really thought he should have some words of wisdom, after all that would give me a little more time to think. (I can't even remember what he said... ) "Lots of prayer and forgiveness," I finally said. "And it's 100/100, not 50/50."

Funny thing is I have been thinking all along that I should have some words of wisdom for my children as they grow up and marry. When it came right down to it, I was put on the spot and didn't know what to say. I think I'm going to have to do something about that. :)

Wonderful Weekend

We had a wonderful, wonderful weekend. Not only was the wedding beautiful, but we also had a wonderful day with Jim and his girlfriend yesterday, and a picnic on the back porch with chicken on the grill and homemade potato salad. The weather was very cooperative and we are blessed also to have James' mom here with us again. She arrived just in time for the wedding. In spite of the challenges life brings, I am blessed and ever so grateful.

There has been such a whirlwind of activity the past week that I scarcely know what to do with myself today. There are dust bunnies hopping around under my furniture, multiplying as we speak, but they will have to be shooed out another time. I just don't want to chase the vacuum cleaner right now, so I have chosen to take it a little easy today. I have my glass of iced tea right here next to me.

A Beautiful Day

It was a beautiful day. I am happy.

Congratulations, Nate and Sabrina!

One More

One more day and then the weekend comes, the big weekend, the weekend with a wedding sandwiched in the middle. Tomorrow evening my son and his girlfriend will arrive from Minnesota. Sometime tomorrow my very favorite mother in law will arrive with her friend "Gramma Gail". Sometime tomorrow I will probably start to panic and wonder how I will ever get everything done. But, the two items that were causing me unrest on Tuesday are settled, and not only that, but today I painted my toes!

Life never settles down for more than a moment or two, so I suppose I should just take a deep breath and get ready to run. Summer is almost here!

U is for United

U is for united. Soon my son and his fiance' will be united in marriage.

They are young. They are just starting out in life. They are full of hopes and expectations. Life will throw them some curves and often  disappoint them, but where there is love, commitment, and a Bigger Hand to hold, they can survive.

I am blessed to welcome this sweet girl into my family, to call her daughter, and to offer her my love, encouragement, and prayers. (Maybe by the time W comes along I'll have a wedding picture for you.)

For more ABC Wednesday fun, click here.

Big Sigh ... (ahhhh....)

Just a few more days until the big event, my son's wedding. I wasn't feeling anxious until tonight. Perhaps it is the beautiful dress my husband just bought me. *gulp*  Yes, I really did wait until the last minute to find something. Things like "mother's dresses" should really be decided on when the girls buy their dresses, don't you think? I am fighting that tendency toward tension that likes to run down the center of my back and tie me up in knots. I am learning, rather slowly, to reach for the Lord's hand when this feeling comes over me and He has been so good.

Last night was the wedding rehearsal. Due to complications with scheduling, we decided to forgo the usual Rehearsal Dinner, and donate what would have gone to that toward the Reception. (The bridal party went to Appleby's last night... or at least those who were available.) It's hard to tell what is "the right thing" to do anymore and had it not been for the impossibility of using the church Friday night, we would have done the usual dinner.

It's hard to believe my boy will soon be a married man. He was just a little guy hanging on my knees and trying his dad's underwear on his head...

Perspective

I stood at the end of the driveway with Emma this morning. As we waited for the school bus to come over the hill, we watched the barn swallows soar and dive over the field across the street and back into our yard again. I can't help but think that barn swallows must be one of God's happiest creatures. Flight to them is like a dance, full of swoops and curves, twists and turns, and when they chance to sit on a wire to rest, they chirp and twitter. I find myself enchanted by their simple cheeriness.

It is a dark, quiet, rainy kind of day. I've already done the dishes and washed both the kitchen and the bathroom floors. For some reason "Que Sera Sera" has been running through my simple brain. It was on the radio one morning last week and keeps coming back to me. (It's James' fault. He set the radio station.) Somehow it makes me smile.

My Thankful List continues to grow, but I'm not sure if I am really doing it justice. I think I need a bright colored pack of sticky notes to write on as I go through my days....

- half a dozen jade plants
- barn swallows in the rain
- clean floors!
- unexpected day off
- peonies blooming

The Countdown

Although I have two married children already, I have not yet had an as-it-happens wedding tale to share, so this will be a first. In just one short week, we will welcome a second daughter in law into our family. Nate and Sabrina are getting married. Although plans have been in place for months upon months, it still feels strange to think the day is almost upon us.

This will be a day of joy and sadness; joy at gaining Sabrina and the celebration surrounding the newly married couple, and sadness that Dave and Leta will not be there to share the event. We are not a perfect family. We struggle and endure pain just like everyone else we know... :'(

Jim will flying home for the wedding and he is bringing his new girlfriend, Michele. We are all looking forward to meeting her. If it weren't for the wedding, I'd say this might be the highlight of the weekend. :)