Facing My Giants

My biggest fears in life surround my children. Not much different from any other parent out there. I desperately want them to know that I did everything I knew to teach them, love them, and protect them. I believe I was a good mom, but even good moms can't shield their children from every harm. I only want them to know that I would give my right arm to fix all the pain, to right all the wrongs, to be given the chance to do it over again.

I fear I may have not filled their boxes with all the tools necessary to get them through life. I fear that I have shortchanged them in my effort to protect them from the world. I fear substance abuse, death/serious injuries, and atheism. And I fear they will misunderstand me, think me foolish, or in their pain disregard my love for them altogether.

They all struggle, because life is made up of struggles. I am past being able to kiss away the pain or brush away the dirt. I have to let them go, let them do it on their own now, even when everything inside of me wants to spin the clock backward, hold them close, and rock them through the hurt once again. Instead I must entrust them to the one who saw their being while it was yet unformed (Psalm 139:16) and know that although I may never see it to fruition, He has a plan for each and every one of their lives. Sometimes it's just hard to trust.

And the pictures? That silly puppy who dances about The Lumberjack's feet and chews up his firewood. Because we all need something to smile about.