Sisters

I have to say that I loved both of my sisters' blog posts today. Priscilla's story about Louie made me sad and then it made me laugh. And Rachel told me about her visit to Tim yesterday while I was keeping an eye on the boys here. I was blessed by both stories. Maybe you will be too.

It's been a stressful week here (not the boys...). I am praying things will settle down soon so we can catch up with ourselves.

Boys, Little Boys

So, we have a couple of boys for a couple of days. It was nice to send them off to VBS this morning, where they found their cousins and a few friends. Jakie wasn't too sure about sitting with his class until Aubrey came in and then everything was good.

This afternoon, after I spoiled their suppers with late afternoon ice cream sandwiches (Because Grandma's are allowed to do that),  they had a bit of fun in the sandbox.

A good bounce on the trampoline removes most of the sand quite nicely, and once they were done we headed into the house for a bit of supper (because every good Grandma also attempts to feed them something good for them too).

This evening they are taking in a Tarzan video because Grandpa's pretty good at picking out movies. Once it gets a little closer to nine o'clock we will herd them upstairs to wash their hands and faces, brush their teeth, find their jammies, and crawl into bed. I hope they settle down a little quicker tonight than they did last night.

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho...

It's almost time to get ready for work again. I hope my dear friend is in better spirits today than I found her on Monday and Tuesday. Patience is not in her vocabulary, especially when it comes to sitting in the dining room. She prefers to be in one position, prone, and preferably on her bed. On Monday she told the nurse I was making her feel like a

dunce... Perhaps because I asked her "what did I just tell you?" after she'd asked for the umpteenth time if we could leave the dining room so she could go to bed. (Thankfully, my hands-off position prevents me from helping her in and out of chairs, to the toilet, or back into bed.) I was trying a different than usual tactic, which obviously was counterproductive. Well, now I know. Yesterday I calmly, and repeatedly, told her it isn't time to leave yet, we've not been here even an hour, we have to wait for our transport, there are other people in front of us in line, the bus hasn't come, the aide is busy, no, it isn't time yet, in a few minutes, it's almost time, and soon. I also tried saying we should just relax and enjoy the company, I haven't finished my dinner yet, I'm still drinking my coffee, and how about a little tea? Nothing works. Not for me and not for the aide who cares for the other woman at our table. Yesterday she asked me if I ever think about anyone else. (I almost laughed again.) And then she wanted to know why I was being "so pissy". Oh, dear... Good thing I'm not taking it all to heart. Honestly, I guess I have learned to look forward to the quiet of the afternoon when I put a CD in the player and all is quiet and still and she is settled. Yesterday I found two great instrumental CD's at Goodwill for $.99 each! How cool is that?

Last evening, while my friend was in her recliner, anther resident stopped in to visit and take a little nap in her bed. Too funny. She soon woke up and wandered off again.

(Yes, Linda, I have been practicing my crocheting skills while I sit. I'm making something purple.)

Living in a World Without Flowers

Weeds mostly. Those are the flowers I have this year. No brightly colored zinnias, no towering sunflowers. My daisies, every one of them, pulled a no-show. I didn't plant or buy marigolds and the beautiful hanging planter full of tiny petunias, a gift from my son for Mother's Day, dried out and died. I don't know how I ever let this happen. Perhaps I was distracted...

From the Land of Blueness

My sad little blueberry patch is bursting with blueness. I took a little walk out there this evening and found that quiet peaceful spot of years gone by. I filled an eight cup measure and then went back to the house for a basket and filled that up too. There is a little boy a couple miles south of here who wouldn't mind having a few blueberries to snack on, so tomorrow I will be sending some off with Hannah for her friend Raul. (He picked a few of his own when the grandkids were here for Hannah's birthday so he knows they're yummy.)

The birds have been leaving peck marks in my berries too but I guess there are enough to share with birds and snails (who apparently also like blueberries). I think it was last year that I said "Forget the blueberry patch! I'm letting it rest for a year and the birds can have them all." And look. Now I have enough to share again.

Some of the branches are heavy and low to the ground, so I sat down in the grass to pick off the fruits and take a "Lookin' Up" picture. (I think I like it. Maybe I should use it for a banner at the top of my blog...)

I filled this little basket right up to the top and could probably fill it up again once more (maybe tomorrow). If I'm feeling especially kind, I might just make a pie, just one, and maybe I'll dig up a good blueberry coffee cake recipe. Whatever is leftover can either be eaten by James or be popped into the freezer for a future occasion. (If those grandchildren don't hurry back I'll have those bushed picked clean.)

Around Home

I stayed home for once and actually did something. Mom's room had turned into a catch-all the past few months and today I decided to do take action. Fixing Mom's room necessitated changing things up in our "empty" upstairs bedroom, and so things were kind of upside down. for a little while I wasn't sure quite how to get things back together again. Thankfully, Hannah was here to help me out a little (and add in some mess of her own as she cleaned out her closet). The job isn't totally done, I still have lots of stuff to go through and sort out, but it has been started and that is something.

Last night James and I took a walk in the orchard behind the house. (Sometimes we walk across the street instead.) It's been a while since I've walked past the pond and into the farther trees, but it was a good night for walking.My legs don't walk quite as fast as his do and sometimes I fall behind. He takes that opportunity to hide in the trees and make me wonder where he disappeared to. He tried to sneak up on me from behind but was not very successful because I have eyes in the back of my head.

Authors and Illustrators

Sometimes it's a little hard not to miss my kids when they were little. Hannah found a treasure while cleaning her closet the other day. It made me smile to read that she and Ben had worked on this story together. He wrote out the words, "One Day A cowBoy was RiDing ALong..." and Hannah drew the pictures. How cute is that?

Work and the Blues

Feeling fickle and still tweaking my work schedule. I'm cutting back to 21- 29 hours a week. Although the job near home is nice, it means another entire afternoon tied up every week and I am feeling overwhelmed, so... after this week I'll be working 8 hour days Monday, Tuesday, and every other Saturday, and 5 hours on Wednesday. I think I can handle that.

Blueberry season is upon us and there is no way I can keep up. Our wet spring has left our berries plump and juicy. I am glad for grandchildren who find berry picking fun. Maybe they will pick enough to make a pie. I'd be willing to bake them one if they are willing to bring in the blueberries. As for myself, I'm going to avoid pie at all costs. It only piles up under my chin and I can't afford anymore of those shenanigans. I think I'll pick enough for My Darling to snack on and leave it at that.

It was a long day at work. My dear friend has been feeling terribly anxious while sitting in the dining room or common areas. She is her most quiet and settled self when laying on her bed during the afternoon hours. I put a CD in the player while she rests and attempt to keep myself busy with writing, crocheting and... gulp!... doing word search puzzles. I eat my lunch and try to stay quiet.

Some days the Memory Care Unit feels especially sad and life appears terribly short. I have to gather up moments to smile at like when my friend "saw" a woman with a turtle and asked if I ever had one. "What's a turtle good for?" I asked her, "Soup?"
"Well, they're good for soup," she answered, "but they make good pets because they're too slow to get away"
Yes, sometimes Memory Care is lighthearted and those are the moments I must take away to savor.

The Last of the Teal Teenagers

Yesterday afternoon we had a birthday gathering in honor of Hannah. Yes, we have survived the teenage years of all seven offspring and are well on our way through the 20 somethings with the rest. Actually, some have entered their 30's (which doesn't seem possible) with another due to hit 30 toward the end of October. Whatever shall we do? Perhaps we should stop counting birthdays and simply celebrate without numbers.

Yesterday afternoon Lucas jumped out of the vehicle and ran up to the porch, homemade birthday card in hand. He stopped directly in front of Hannah and her friend Kelly. "Wait," he said, "Which one is Hannah." We laughed at him not knowing which blond haired beauty was the birthday girl. I never really thought about it much until this morning when Hannah said, "He was kidding." Sometimes I forget that Lucas is a joker. He is six and a half, after all, and has plenty of smarts up his sleeves. Ah, Silly Grandma... Maybe I can blame it on my own blond hair.

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to my baby girl! I am officially all out of teenagers. Do I get an award or anything?

Twenty years ago this morning we welcomed our seventh child and second daughter into our family. Our nearly ten year old first daughter was in her glory. She finally had the little sister she had prayed for. (See here)

I worked today but took the day off tomorrow so that we can have a family gathering and celebrate the life of this girl who has brought so much sunshine into our lives.

Happy Birthday, Hannah!

Lucky Me

I was the lucky recipient of a surprise package this afternoon. The puffy mailing envelope was addressed to me with the return address of my cousin Kathy. At first I suspected old family photographs as we had recently been sharing bits of family history, but the package didn't feel like photos.

Inside the yellow package I found a wonderful surprise. A brand new, handmade camera strap, a cool one with an integrated wrist strap and and a built in pocket to hold an extra camera card or cleaning cloth. The only request? To give her some feedback on how I like it or what could be changed. (I already think I love it and I've only had it a few hours.)

Not only is the strap attractive, but I love the idea of a pocket to hold an extra camera card (for those times when I inadvertently leave mine inside my laptop and take off with an empty camera. That pretty little cleaning cloth is a great idea too. Now all I need is an afternoon to go out shooting... That will be the real challenge, finding an open afternoon and an available friend. I'm thinking a Friday sometime or maybe even a Saturday since I'm all booked up Monday through Thursday at work.

If you're all feeling jealous, I'm told she's planning to sell them in an Etsy shop starting in September. She designed and makes them herself and I think that's pretty cool. I'm honored to have been blessed with this unexpected gift. Thanks, Kathy.
:0)

Winds of Change

Blog posts have become much more sporadic this month. It could be because I'm working more or it could be because there is much on my mind that I haven't been able to turn into written words. More than likely it's both.

My children are growing up and life is changing. I'm not quite sure how the little ones, who once clung to my legs with their noses against my knees, turned into adults so quickly. My house, which once had nary a quiet corner, is often quiet for days on end. It's hard to believe I once had to lock myself in my car out in the driveway for just a half hour of solitude. Actually, it's kind of funny to think about now... Once upon a time we stacked three sets of bunk beds in a bedroom, and a few years later we gave up our own bedroom and moved downstairs just to give our kids enough room to sleep and none of them had a bedroom of their own. Everyone shared. Now the bedrooms are almost empty...

More change is coming. I'm not sure how or exactly when, and I will share eventually, but it is coming. Family is an interesting thing. We start life as part of a group that shrinks and swells with the years. Thirty-four years ago James was officially added to my parent's family as we broke off onto our own. Through the years we added children of our own and as they "broke away" they also made our family grow. We have three wonderful daughters in law and a wonderful son in law as well. In the past nearly eight years we've been blessed to see our family grow as grandchildren were added, and we've also bid tearful goodbyes to cherished family members like my parents. It's the ebb and flow of time...

Change often makes me feel apprehensive, whether it's a child making adult life choices or James and I making a decision regarding employment or whether or not to move. Change can be good and, very often, so is accepting the changes that life brings, even when they make us slightly uncomfortable. We're never held responsible for inevitable change, only how we respond to it and therein lies the real challenge.

Off To Work

I was almost ready for work this morning when the phone rang. On the other end was Tammy from the agency that hired me to do home care. It seems there are a few more hours available with the woman I care for, on the days I'm already there. They wanted to offer those six hours (3 each day) to me before finding other staff to fill in. It means working until 7:30 pm four days each week. I told them I would be willing to cover this week's extra hours and check with my husband to decide whether or not to commit to every week.

A few minutes after I hung up, the phone rang again. On the other end were Tammy and Sue from the home care agency. It seems they have a new client who lives about 7 minutes from my house. She needs someone from noon until 4 pm on Thursdays. Would I like to work with her? Four hours a week, less than ten minutes away... "Yes," I said, "I think I can do that." (I think pretty soon my husband will wonder when I'm NOT going to be doing something...)

I had to smile at work this evening. Quite honestly, I wish I'd had a camera in hand, but the only one available was in my mind. Two, slightly stooped, gray haired old women, memory care patients, stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the television set with silly smiles on their faces. What was amusing them? Gilligan's Island. It was too cute. And then there was my own friend who leaned over toward me at one point and said, "Look at the size of that woman!" Since my friend is blind, I decided to play along. "Is she big?" I asked, and she said with slight exasperation. "Is she big?!"  "How big is she?" I inquired. She made a gesture forward and said, "Well, you can see the back of her right there."

Memory care is an interesting place, sad in so many ways, but it's been encouraging to see how tenderly so much of the staff treats these precious people. Many have been robbed of not only their memories, but their ability to communicate. They are still looking for words of encouragement and tender, loving touches. I pray I can make my mom proud of what she taught me in the three years she spent with me, even if I fell so far short of giving her what she so needed and deserved.

Out in Back

I took a walk about the yard this evening...

1. I caught a bit of late afternoon sun on my milkweed blossoms. They are still fragrant and the bees are still buzzing.
2. My elderberry bushes are covered with blossoms. Perhaps there are some pies in our future.
3. Oreo is recovering and feeling friendly once again.
4. I have a nice little collection of plants adorning that wire wheel on my back porch.
5. The blueberry bushes are almost ready to present their harvest. Another week or so and maybe there will be enough to fill up a basket.

Friday

I looked around the yard this morning and remarked to Hannah how different it is this year. Our vegetable garden consists of peppers; bell, chile, and pablano. No corn or cucumbers, no squash or beans, and no
tomatoes. I didn't plant flowers this spring (I was too busy at the nursing home) and my daisies never came up. There were no children on the swings or in the sandbox. It was weird and I realized why I've tended to spend my time inside rather than out. Thankfully, this afternoon I was blessed with a couple of boys who came to spend the night.

Jake kept me busy in the sandbox and I've come to realize I need a few new sandbox toys. Josh was blessed to have a friend when Raul stopped by for a couple of hours. They kept themselves busy bouncing on the trampoline and checking out Hannah's old playhouse. I didn't take any pictures other than those in my mind. Tomorrow morning I will return the boys to Webster when Hannah and I go for haircuts.

Bumblebee Batgirl

My favorite granddaughter turned four yesterday. Four is a pretty special age, one of my favorites. She's a spunky little thing. She picked out her own birthday outfit which I think says a thing or two about her personality. I've decided Bumblebee Batgirl would make an absolutely terrific, not to mention completely adorable, superhero. Just imagine the adventures! (If she ever shows up out there I'll know you've been visiting me...)

We decided to do cake and ice cream here last night and the kids headed straight to the trampoline as soon as they arrived.I went out to see if they were being properly supervised and found a grandfather on the apparatus. I decided they were fairly safe so long as they were the ones doing the bouncing.

We enjoyed a bit of ice cream and some Candy Land Cupcakes and then headed out back for a few leftover fireworks. Everyone was sufficiently impressed, even Lucas. Apparently the mosquitoes were also impressed, but not necessarily by the sparkly show. They were relentless and neither smoke nor bug repellent kept them a bay. Even so it was a good evening and someone out there (I think it was Bethany) declared it the best birthday ever!

In other news, Oreo appears to be doing better. He stops by for a drop of milk with a bit of Silver Biotics in it each morning. His wounds aren't completely healed, but he's getting around easier and his eyes are looking brighter again. He even comes by to sit on my lap when I let him in the house.

Bouncing

It's been a week or two of conflicting thoughts and sleepless nights. Not something I can blog about at the moment just a few things to keep my mind anxious and unable to rest, and to make matters worse, I go from what seems to be okay back to unsettledness in an instant. The thoughts in my brain are feeling kind of like little people on the backyard trampoline...

Today

Today was spent with Gail. While Yanni made music on the CD player, I read sappy stories from Chicken Soup for the Golden Soul and dabbed tears from the corners of my eyes...

Still Here

I'm still here. I worked three 8-hour days this weekend, including the 4th of July and Sunday. My butt hurts. Who would have thought I could get paid for just sitting? "Hello?"

 My family had a little gathering on July 4th and I was greeted by several grandchildren upon my arrival home. When darkness descended we set off a few fireworks which they found pretty exciting. Lucas did declare several of them "boring" but then again he did stay to watch.

I was able to be at church Sunday morning. My Darling and I drove separate vehicles for for the first time in years and I went to work from there afterward. It's a whole new schedule to figure out and it's been months since I knew what day of the week it was without stopping to really think about it.

Tomorrow and Wednesday I work a shorter day and should be home by a little after 5 pm instead of a little after 8 pm and then I have four days off. I hope there will still be some nice weather left over. I've been missing the sunshine.

A Thought (or two) Runs Through It

* My schedule for the next five days includes work, three 8 hour days, and then two 5 hour days. The job is easy physically, but tonight my mind is not emotionally prepared to be away from home for so many afternoon/evenings. I don't mind spending time with my new friend, and it has many rewards, it's just that I've never had to spend so much time away from any of my other children. Since Hannah's babysitting job ended with the school year, she ends up being here alone when I'm gone. I guess it's a mom thing, and she's my last baby. Next weekend I won't have to go to work and I am looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to, hopefully, having another family gathering the day after Hannah turns 20, a birthday celebration. (I had to ask for that Sunday off...)

* Oreo continues to be thin, dirty, scraggly, and old. His abscess, which is now bald, continues to drain. I haven't yet taken him to the vet and he continues to eat, drink, and breathe. He's been a naughty, old man, pooping in the ash bucket and peeing on a piece of cardboard behind the wood stove. Last night we locked him outside in order to safeguard our house. blah

* The news has been rather depressing lately; a bit more conflict and change than my mind wants to digest right now. I read precious little and don't watch the news on TV, but it filters in through other media outlets, threatening to leave me feeling a bit hopeless and helpless, although in reality I know we are never without hope. I've struggled with this before and my anxious heart returns to the verses I once posted on my refrigerator...

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Sunshine has returned to upstate NY and the rain has gone. Perhaps my friend and I can sit out in the courtyard tomorrow and soak up some of that vitamin D that comes with bright, clear, summer days. I spent some time out weeding our pepper plants this evening, but not enough time out during the day. Without small children begging to outside, I can almost forget that I need to be out there myself.

Gifts From Above

She holds my hand and pats my arm. If I were to close my eyes, I could almost believe the old hand now caressing my arm, belongs to my own mother. Although a part of me aches, and tears threaten to sting my eyes, I smile at this gift of healing that God has brought into my life through Gail. What was it she said at lunch yesterday? "Thank you, Lord, for all you've blessed us with." Just like Mom... And today when the nurse came in to rub Ben Gay on her knee she quipped, "I'm getting to be an old lady." Just in case this blond hair should render me a little slow in my thinking, He's blessed me several times. It's not my mother sending me messages from beyond, but the Father who loves me, sending me gifts and reminding me of my mother's love, and I'm pretty sure she's smiling along with Him.