Today

It will be a long time before life feels "normal" again. Taking care of my mom for the past 3 1/2 years was probably the hardest job I ever had to do. I never realized how far short I would fall of being all I wanted to be. People keep telling me what a good job I've done, but deep inside I know my own failures. Thankfully, I have a Father in heaven who knows every thought and intent of my heart, and He is still beside me, comforting my sorrows and giving me strength.

The memorial service is over and cards of encouragement continue to appear in our mailboxes. Mom touched so many lives in her 79 years and was much loved. The church was full of friends and family who came to offer hugs and condolences. My aunt and uncle flew home from Florida on short notice, and our son and his family came from Minnesota too. Not only were we showered with love by those who came to support us at the service, but we were blessed beyond measure by the outpouring of love from a few quiet servants who never really knew my mom but came to prepare and serve a meal. One day I hope to join them in their ministry.

My sisters came today and we began the long and difficult process of sorting through Mom's things. We didn't get far, but didn't expect to. It will be a long time before everything is settled. Thankfully, we set much of the estate in order before Mom's passing and that will help in getting everything settled.

This afternoon we went to face the difficult task of telling our severely autistic brother that our mom has gone to be with Jesus. We picked him up at his home and drove down country roads past farms and woods as Dad played his guitar and harmonica on the radio. It seemed fitting that we were all in the car together, just the four of us. I'd been reluctant to go at first, but am so glad I did. It was right that we all be there and I'm looking forward to being there again.