We've reached the one week mark. One week ago the funeral director arrived and took my mother "home". That's what he called it. His voice was warm and kind. He wasn't taking her "away", he was taking her "home". He called me by name and spoke as though he knew me. He was nothing less than tender and sympathetic, and I felt as if we were friends. It was only later that day, while half asleep at my daughter's house, that I was running the events of the morning through my mind. I was thinking of the impending meeting to fill out paperwork when I realized that I did know the man who so gently took my mother's body "home" that morning. I didn't know his family owned the funeral home, because he isn't in our group for that reason. He is in the group for the same kind of love and support he offered to me last week. An understanding heart and a listening ear when time and age take their toll on those we love. He is a gift, the man who took my mother "home," and I am grateful to God for sending him. It so easily could have been someone else.It's settling in now, the ache of her absence. Yesterday morning I glanced through the open doorway into her room and realized I was subconsciously looking for her. This morning I heard the squeal of a hearing aide, but it was really the squeak of the gate surrounding the wood stove. I'm almost dreading the day her hospital bed is moved out of her room. It's going to leave a hole. The layers are slowly being peeled away and I'm missing her more and more.
Oh Martha....wish I could give you a hug 💛
ReplyDeleteIt will ease...I promise you....
I guess the fact that she actually lived with you, makes it even harder..and miss her presence even more...
I am sure she is waving down at you, and telling everyone what a wonderful daughter you are, and that she so enjoyed being with you and all the kiddies...
She is telling your Dad....and he is loving it..💛
Try and take it slow today....
Your roast is in the crockpot, so that is taken care of...
Relax....and feed the birds!
Cheers!
Linda :o)
One day, before too long, Linda, we can give each other a hug.
DeleteYes, her living here has definitely made a difference. Even though it was hard, I miss her. Just can't believe it's over so suddenly.
She's where she's longed to be. She's free from life's struggles and finally able to breathe again.
I'm trying to take it slow, trying to let the tears go, and trying to be brave at the same time.
The house is smelling like dinner.
:0)
I am so very sorry. I experienced the very same emotions with my mother. She died at home. It was hard to see them take her from the home and it was difficult to see her bed empty. May God bless you and comfort you in this time of grief. Mildred
ReplyDeleteMom's room is what was originally our dining room. He bed and dresser, table and china cabinet are in there. I think as long as we live here it will always be "Grandma's room".
DeleteThank you for being a support and encouragement.
Take as long as you need to grieve. Don't let anyone rush you. Don't let anyone tell you what you should do. You just grieve in your own way. For me, it involved watching several seasons of NCIS from Netflix, (why this show, I don't know), not cooking, not talking on the phone if I could help it, sitting in my room. I couldn't and still can't visit the grave. (It's been 4 years).
ReplyDeleteI grieve by listening to old tapes of my dad singing or playing his instruments. They're the old hymns he used to play in the area nursing homes. They make me cry and then I feel better again. Once in a while I visit his grave, but not because I think he's there. It's comforting somehow to know my parents' names are there, etched in stone, and remembered.
DeleteEveryone grieves differently. Just do how you want to and and long as you want. :)
ReplyDeleteI learned, when my dad died, that we all grieve in different ways and some of us take longer to heal than others. It's learning to be sensitive to other hurting loved ones that becomes important.
DeleteI know your struggle is much different than mine and Priscilla's because she lived there. I'm available to talk when you need to...unless I'm at work on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Are you going to Audra's play tomorrow? I think distractions are good.
ReplyDeleteI've never lost someone I lived with before. It is different.
DeleteI called Aunt Margie tonight. She is on my heart. I know she is hurting too. I told her not to stop coming over to visit and that one day I'm going to visit her house too.
:( I don't want to stop seeing her either.
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ReplyDeleteI'm messing up your page. It was supposed to be a reply, not a new comment.
DeleteThere is no such thing as messing up my page.
DeleteI love you.