Thursday, January 31, 2013

Here Am I, Send Rachel

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Is. 6:8

Lest you think I am shirking my responsibilities or attempting to shrug them off on someone else, let me tell you that is not so. I am simply being a little more honest today. It's a big job and a heavy responsibility, one I am not always certain I can handle. Thankfully, I have Someone bigger who can handle anything that comes along. Without His help I would be totally lost.

Mom arrived here a little over two years ago needing help with her med- ication, someone to do her shopping and cart her around, and a bit of company. She was forgetful and often left us scratching our heads, but we hadn't yet lived with her day to day. Now we realize she needs so much more. After filling her pill box, I hide her medication high in the cupboard, setting it out individually for her each morning and evening rather than letting her take it herself. Not only must I ensure she remembers to take it, but also that she doesn't take a double dose. Quite often I find that although I have set it out for her, she has forgotten it altogether and gone to bed without taking it. Then I go in, wake her up, hand her the pills, and make sure she swallows them. I help her with showers, wash her laundry, and fix her meals. I buy her puzzles and word search books, purchase her Hazelnut Cafe powdered coffee drink, and make sure her prescriptions are filled. I've started making doctor appointments and, this month, have provided transportation to at least four. I check her hearing aides, keep track of her oxygen supply, and carry her tank when we go out. I pay her bills, at least most of them, and attempt to keep track of her finances. I chase her out of the kitchen during nap time, give her "what for" when she messes with the wood stove, and answer repeated questions.

I'm not always patient, I often roll my eyes, and sometimes I long for an escape. That's just being honest, but God is working something bigger in me than I can see. If I always had it easy, I would always take it easy. If I had all the time in the world to do my own thing, I would. I wouldn't grow in grace and I most likely would still think I had it pretty much all together. Now I know I don't, and I also know He's still putting the pieces of my life together the way He wants them. He has a better plan than me.

(How do you like that nice looking loaf of gluten free bread? Have I told you how yummy it is? It's just too yummy. I'll never lose my baby fat with that in the kitchen!)

17 comments:

  1. 24/7 care is the hardest. My sister and I shared my mother's care for her last 9 months. Donna during the day...Me at nights and on weekends. I didn't know how we did it, but now (mom passed away 1991) it seems en eternity ago. I thought the year Jill was in the hospital would never end...it did. Martha you are smack dab in the middle of it and it's hard hear this to will pass...but I look at you, your honesty, your love for your mom, and know it's done for the love of your Mom and Jesus and will not go unnoticed or unrewarded even though you do it for neither. I'm just going to hug and squeeze right though this computer screen...do you feel it? ((((hugs))))

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  2. I admire you. I really do. Thanks for being honest! I feel I can relate just a little with my boys here...I still help them bathe, brush their teeth for them, etc. One boys still won't have a BM in the toilet. We dispense meds and have to wake boys that leave a single pill in their medicine cup at night. haha. So many similarities (even the stresses of extended family)!!

    I still say we need to escape to Wanda's some day. Let her feed us scones with drizzle and forget the world for a few days. haha. :)

    big hugs...

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    1. And I still say that is a great plan. Now How to make it happen...

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  3. You're doing a great job, and I am sure your Mom is very happy with you. Hang in there.

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  4. You ARE doing a great job, Marty. I'll be there to get her at around 2 ish tomorrow, take her to see Tim, and bring her here for the weekend.

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  5. Martha,

    I give you a lot of credit for what you're doing for your mom, it's a wonderful thing. She has a loving home and family around her. I love your perspectives, I visit your blog often and it's inspiring. We aren't perfect, but we're forgiven and growing in grace, Thank our Good Lord he hasn't given up on us (even though we deserve it)!

    Judy

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    1. I don't have one, but I do enjoy yours!! Have a good weekend and God bless.

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  6. Every time I read your post title, it makes me chuckle. Is "chuckle" and "old person word"? Steven says it is.

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    1. Not to worry, whatever is "old person" talk now, will one day, in the not so distant future, be hip (or hep) again. (Is that an old person word?)

      I love you.

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    2. You are correct. :) I love you too.

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  7. My friend Martha, you have done such a wonderful job taking good care of your Mom. Your Dad would be so pleased with you. I know it is a huge job, and you have been such a wonderful example to me of what love does.

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    1. Heather, you are a wonderful example to me. You have as much or more love in your heart as anyone else I have ever met. I still hope to be just like you when I grow up. :)

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