My mom has been with us for close to two years now. (The photo is ten years old.) Life has pretty much settled into a routine. She does her own thing and I do mine. Her things continue to include her daily newspaper and word search puzzles. Conversation is minimal, but I help her with showers, she eats dinner with us, we take her to church on Sunday mornings, and she goes out to see my older brother every other week with Rachel. I have left her home often lately, but she appears to prefer it that way. Time goes on and she walks with a little more stoop to her step. She tells us that she's getting to be an old lady. I still struggle with questions regarding her and her care, but they no longer dominate my thoughts, nor do I find myself quite so distraught at their presence.
It will soon be three years since my father's passing. How the time has flown by I do not know. Perhaps it will always seem as if he was here with us just yesterday. There are still times I long for his counsel, and still more the moments I wish for his hand on my shoulder and to hear his words of encouragement. I would that my guitar playing boys loved country gospel/ bluegrass as their grandfather did, but they don't. Maybe one day, in their own old age, they will look upon it with the same fondness I have found. I can always hope.I have found myself feeling a little aimless and empty lately. Don't know quite what that is all about, but this morning I read that one must be found empty in order to be filled. So there is something for me to think about. What do you think about it?
I think so, Martha. That's why I'm ready the book by Linda Dillow, "Satify My Thirsty Soul"...So many times with life so FULL, and things in my family I cannot write about, but greive and hurt me to the core, leaves a big EMPTY spot. So I relate with your feeling. Sometime I'll send you a personal email to ask for specific prayers. But today...after reading your post... I miss my momma (over 20 years) and my Daddy (over 40) Heaven can't come too soon for me.
ReplyDeleteContinue to hold your dear little Jake in my prayers too. Things have been so busy, I haven't sent the gift card...but thanks for the address.
Sending big hugs.
Oh, Wanda! I love you. One day all the struggles will be behind us and there will be only Glory. That will be the day!
DeleteI think many of us have things we'd love to pour out on our blogs but cannot because of who reads. I find myself in that position a lot! I wanted to rant about something that happened at school this month but their teacher reads! ha. And our little village can be too close for comfort sometimes, too, with many people reading my blog. And family is a whole other issue!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I think we have to have an empty spot before it can be filled. Interesting concept that...we don't usually think that way, do we!
Can't believe your dad has been gone three years. The photos you used here are adorable. :)
big hugs...
I've read blogs where the writer doesn't appear to be concerned about the content. I've shuddered sometimes at what moms reveal about their children. I pray I am more sensitive, though I know there are times when I failed there too.
DeleteI found the pictures while hunting through old CD's yesterday. There are several of Hannah and my dad. They make me smile and miss him at the same time.
Thinking of you, my friend...Pam xo
ReplyDeletePam, I think we still need to do that morning coffee sometime. :)
DeleteYes...time has a way of marching on. I can't believe it has been three years since Dad has gone. I loved seeing the pictures. I look at Mom in the picture and she is so alive and vibrant in it. I miss her as well as Dad...although technically she is still with us.
ReplyDeleteI miss her too, Priscilla. :(
Deleteto me, fall always means change and new beginnings, but in a hard way. Spring always brings new beginnings, but in a good way. I have very little concrete evidence to support that.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe it has been almost three years, Martha. Wow.
In autumn one must live in the moment and not think about what is around the corner. It only spoils the gift that is now. In spring we are filled with anticipation for what lies ahead. I think I can reason that one out pretty good. :)
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