Monday, August 23, 2010

Rounding the Bend

Life is a circle of sorts. We are born needing the help of others and one day, if we live long enough, we find ourselves in that position once again...

My brain is tired from thinking and I have come to the conclusion that actually doing something is probably much less exhausting than endlessly mulling over the options. (Quite honestly, I want to spin the clock backward, to have both my parents in the little house in Webster, and to know that everything is right again, but that is not to be.) We can only move forward, going back is not allowed and so we round the bend.

Though my mother is far from "helpless," it is clear to us that she is in need of help. We all want to help her, to show her our love, to give back just a small portion of what she and Dad gave to us through the years. The task of moving her seems insurmountable, not because she is difficult to move, but because moving her means moving a lifetime of memories also. What do we with a house full of memories?

Here at our house we have cleaned out "the room." It needs a carpet, a window shade, and some doors for privacy... Will she be willing to come? Can she navigate the steps to take a shower several times each week? Will we need to put a shower in "the room" instead? What of her belongings do we move in? Will she be happy here? Does she know how much we love her and count this a privilege?

Yes, life is a journey full of twists, turns, and sudden stops . There are bumps and bruises along the way and unexpected detours. Sometimes I feel a little lost in unfamiliar territory but I am not alone. God has given me a Guidebook and fellow travelers to help me along the way. I'm so glad I'm not in this alone.


  1. Oh Martha, so many decisions.... You are at the top of my prayer journal today!

    Please pray for grandson Nick (11) dove in the pool and has 3 contusion Children's Hospital LA for another 24 hours. God is good, it could have been much worse. I'll post more later.

    Love and Hugs

  2. Oh Martha, it is so hard to grow up and have the tables turn. I know what you mean about the house full of memories. I cannot even bear to drive by my childhood home now that new people live there. My parents lived there for over 40 years. The hard part is that the parents are so independent in spirt, although not so much in body, and to respect that while helping mother sometimes got indignant when we helped her.
    "I can DO it!", she would say. hmm. I am praying for you, Martha. Just take life one day at a time. The future belongs to God.

  3. Martha, this touched my heart as you shared about this journey. I am praying for you as you begin to put the plan into action. I agree with you that the "thinking through" part is so exhausting!!

  4. Wanda, I will pray for Nick. How scary that must have been for the family!

    Yes, Della, one day at a time. Kind of reminds me of a song we sang in VBS when we were children.

    Heather, life is an interesting journey, sometimes painful, but always interesting.

  5. Martha,
    I have also been through this journey with my dad, after my mom passed was the best thing we could have done for him (take care of him ourselves). Family was always there, and he was very well taken care of! We had to sell the house we were born & raised in...we all had our own homes, and we used the $$ for the care of my dad. As far as "belongings" & memories" go, each of us (4) children took what we wanted, called other family members to see if they wanted anything that was left, and then sold the house (after filling up a huge dumpster). My parents did not have much, they were very frugal.
    I'm sorry that you are burdened with this (it is NOT easy)..I admire you for taking her into your this day, my sister & I would do it all again if we had to. God will give you strength! Hope everything works out...I am praying for you! Pam

  6. I agree, it's very difficult. The thought of the house being gone makes me sad, but God will get her and us through this and continue to shower us with his blessings. I love you!

  7. Oh dear...with family who just moved in with her, I didn't realize you had these decisions looming on you! :(

  8. Hi Martha,
    I will be keeping you in prayer as I seen the same thing happen with my grandmother. She lived with my parents (in between hospital stays) the last couple of years of her life. She had such a hard time accepting that she couldn't do many things on her own anymore and always wanted to go back to the home she lived in for 40 years. Now that she is gone and I'm living in her house, I'm glad that it wasn't sold and that I can make it my own while still keeping some of my grandparent's things in tact. It is certainly a blessing that you have your family close by and that it is not all on your shoulders. God bless!

  9. Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement.