On Coming Home

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,

Life's trials will seem so small when we see Christ;

One glimpse of His dear face all sorrow will erase,

So bravely run the race till we see Christ.

Coming home from vacation has been tough for me. The lifting of emotional and mental stresses was so profound, that working back into the groove of "normal" life has proven to be a challenge. You just might say I've been a little bit on the cranky side. (Okay, I've been a lot on the cranky side... ) Quite honestly, I could have stayed away for weeks and been perfectly content. This is me being honest. I'm having a hard time with this season of life and I often find myself feeling panicky.

They say one day it will will be worth it all, but it's hard to see that day from here. Instead I live with unspoken thoughts, fears, and feelings, and find myself searching desperately for an escape hatch that doesn't exist.

What I really need to do is pick up my 1000 Gifts Journal again. I need to list all those seeming insignificant blessings that God sprinkles into each and every day of my life; cherry trees in bloom, sunlight on barn boards, and green chile powder. I need a tangible record of God's hand in my life; faces on tree trunks, a yard full of tulips, a Minnesota wedding, and meeting my friend Kristina.

If I am honest, I am more than blessed. I have every reason in the world to be grateful, and should be ashamed that I am often not.This is a God-given struggle I face. He knows what is best for me and through all of the difficulty, He is still there (another reason to be thankful). He knows what I need, and He will provide a time of escape.

Another blessing? The lesson of my favorite tulip. If God cares so much for flowers, He must love me too. The tulip I feared might never recover is beautiful again! Perhaps there is hope for me too. :)

PS. Click on that tree photo and check out his face.