I've decided Mother's Day is not one of my favorite holidays. Once upon a time it was, but it isn't anymore. I could do without Mother's Day. It only leaves me feeling incomplete, confused, and missing my mom.
In spite of my "bad attitude" con- cerning this holiday set aside to honor mothers, I am grateful to have had a mother, and I am thankful for all the wonderful childhood memories that go along with being her child; walks through the woods, the reading of stories, the baking of cakes and cookies, and songs sung. I am honored to have been a mother, complete with a house full of wildly screaming children, ruckus laughter, and revolting midnight messes.
I miss the family gatherings we enjoyed just a few years back. I hate that my children can't get along and simply love and accept each other for who they are in spite of the differences between them. I long to have them all in one photograph again, making silly faces and acting all goofy. I pray that one day we can come together as a family and be a family once again. Until then Mother's Day will always bring a pang of sadness to this momma's heart.
PS. Although it looks from these two pictures as though they were all little at once, Josiah was likely either just born or not quite here yet when the top photo was taken. Jim, my oldest, was nearly 14 when Hannah was born.)
bad mamma that's me. sitting and enjoying another holiday alone.. but by my choice.. :)
ReplyDeleteHope found some contentment and a reason to smile this Mother's Day.
DeleteI miss Mom too, the person she used to be. I don't know quite what to do today. I saw her yesterday and chatted and gave her a card and wished her a Happy Mother's Day, but somehow it just doesn't seem enough. She doesn't really talk much, but I do want her to know how much I love and appreciate her. I may stop over later for a little visit.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by, Rach. :)
DeleteIt was a nice visit. :)
DeleteMimsie wasn't having a good day today when we stopped in at the nursing home - she was agitated, confused, wanting to go home, and very angry at me for some reason (I am sure she won't even remember her anger) - she had one of the staff tell us we had to leave. Such a difference in just 2 weeks - missing the Mims that was and praying for the one who is here now. This Mother's Day was a little easier - borrowed children gave me a gift, friends sought me out and shared their prayers for me, got loved on by two cute ones at church - a little girl first service and a little boy second service.
ReplyDeleteMine turned out to be a nice day too.
DeleteI'm sorry Mimsie was feeling off, but glad you got some lovin'.
Can't wait for you to be closer.
Thank you, Martha, for putting into words what many of us moms/daughters are feeling on a day that "should be" so joyous. After singing the hymns in harmony in church with a friend, who also lost her Mom a few years ago, it may explain why I hugged her at the end of the service. This was my first mother's day spent without seeing either my daughter or mother on "the actual day". A surprise visit from my sister and her daughter brought back some of the joy to the day.
ReplyDeleteOndra, I'm glad you had a surprise visit to make you smile. Just seeing your comment here makes me smile too. I'm looking forward to the day when we meet up in person. :)
DeleteTake it from me Martha...
ReplyDeleteYour family times will come back...
Bigger and better than ever...
And believe me...I have been thru it...
And I came out the other end...
Happier for all of it...
Cheers!
Linda :o)
I do hope so, Linda.
DeleteIt isn't that I've been deserted or forgotten by all, it is knowing ahead of time that one in particular will purposely avoid making contact.