Monday, May 09, 2011

On Being A Mom (a second post-it note already)

Sometimes being a mom leaves me looking at a nearly grown up child and wondering what he or she is thinking. When my kids are happy, I find myself smiling, and when they hurt deep inside, my heart aches too. I am no longer at the point in time where I can kiss away the boo-boos or easily distract a troubled mind. I can't make their decisions for them and I can't manipulate the world in order to make life easy. There are days when I fear the callouses on my knees are missing, and times when I whisper a name repeatedly in prayer. I can't erase the pain that comes with life and I suppose it wouldn't always be wise anyway. Somehow experiencing pain, both emotional and physical, gives one the ability to empathize with others, to care how others feel, and to love our neighbors just a little bit more. It is my prayer that my children will always know they are loved deeply and unconditionally, that I am here to help them where I am able, and that it is my heart's desire to be available when they need a shoulder to lean on. I know I have failed often...


  1. I bet they don't remember the times you failed. I bet they remember all of the times you wiped their tears and all of the times they leaned on you and continue to do so. You are a great Mom!!

  2. Martha ~ In God grace, I agree with Heather...somehow they remember the good.

    I've apologized to my adult children for my failures raising them (I also worked full time outside the home) and they give me this blank stare, and say were great..the projects, the cookies, the humbly I say thank you for remembering the good, and not focus on what I remember as the bad.

    Love the picture of you son, thinking and basking on the car...

  3. I hear what you are saying Martha,
    I was an RN who stayed home after my husband received his undergraduate degree and did what I thought was the best of mothering and homemaking.
    I love all three daughters dearly.
    Two older daughters think and have said on their blogs what a complete failure I was/am as a mother and grandmother.
    The other daughter thinks I am practically perfect(of course she is the one I agree with)(smiling)

    The Lord knows our hearts and it is to him we are responsible. Although I know this, it still hurts deeply.

  4. Unfortunately my kids remember my failures, but sometimes we can laugh about them together, and they still love me. Our kids know we're human and hopefully they won't hold our failures against us. All we can do is our best, and pray a lot. Love you!

  5. Like a bridge over troubled water.
    I recently posted this on FB for T and paul. It says it all for me.

  6. Thank you, my friends, for your prayers and encouragement.

    Joy, this particular heartache has little to do with whether or not my kids think I am a good mom, but rather how helpless I often feel as the mom of grown children when they are struggling. There are so many areas where a mom must let go and offer the only gift that really makes a difference, unconditional love and prayer. My biggest failure is in how often and how diligently I bring them before the Father's throne. And, I find that though their opinions and rebukes can sting, once in a while (more often that I probably care to admit) there is some truth to their perspective. I hope I am never too proud to offer and apology.

    Judi, I love you and your heartaches are in my prayers also.