While cleaning my closet yesterday, I was temporarily distracted by a box of old cards and papers. Inside I found a note written on the corner of a paper... "This whole dying to self is no fun. Why can't somebody else die once in a while?" Finding those words written there both amused and confused me. It was my handwriting, but who had uttered the words? I went back to look at them again today and realized they were my own words, written in a desparate cry of frustration. The Lord was teaching me a lesson that I didn't want to learn, one that I had resisted, one I needed to learn in order to stop hurting myself and those I love so dearly.It was, and still can be, a long, hard battle, but each fall I watch the trees in the orchard surrender to God's will. They give up the fruit they so desparately clung to all summer, drop their leaves, and "die" so that they may be made "new" in the spring. God is not out there to take away everything I hold dear and leave me empty. His desire is to remove what shouldn't remain in order to grow in me that which is better. The question is, will I trust Him?
Thank you for this post, Martha. That spoke to me concerning a struggle that has been going on with me. I appreciate you sharing that.
ReplyDeleteIn time, as you mature, you will find this question unnecessary. When you find total faith in God, the question of "will I trust him" is mute.
ReplyDeleteWow, I need to borrow that for a Sunday Meditation!
ReplyDeleteVery inspirational, Martha. Very! And the picture says a thousand words doesn't it?
That is a good reminder!
ReplyDeleteIt is not always easy....
I have found that as I grow in my faith, God stretches me beyond what I ever thought possible. With each new challange the question resurfaces and I hear God say, "You trusted me before and I brought you through. Will you trust me this time?" Do we ever really mature beyond having to relinquish control because we already totally given it over?
ReplyDeleteHeather, I can still hear Nancy C. in the ladies' Bible study saying, "Die to self, die to self."
This is a great post, thanks. Dying to self is never easy.
ReplyDeleteGreat post. What a symbolic picture.
ReplyDeleteThanks Martha - an encouraging post.
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