It has taken over week, and a full three days of "nothingness", along with two escapes of several hours duration, but I am finally beginning to feel recharged. The tension is melting away and I am finally feeling somewhat relaxed.
I've done some searching and praying, and come to the conclusion that moments of solitude are crucial to my survival. They will not likely drop into my lap as full-time caregiver, therefore I must make them happen. (prayers to this end this are appreciated...). The introvert inside can not cope with life in general unless it happens, and so I embark on a new quest. I am not yet certain how I will accomplish this somewhat daunting yet necessary feat, only that it must be done, and that it will likely take me away from home at regular intervals as the other option does not leave absolutely solitary moments, and it will probably mean leaving Mom home alone.
I have Sunday yet before me, a not so relaxing day lately, and then a mostly quiet Monday before the routine gets running in full gear again. There is a pot of leftover chicken soup on the stove, the gift of pie fresh from the oven (blueberry peach), and an evening at home waiting. I think maybe I am once again in the place where I can tolerate working a puzzle with Mom.
It helps to know that even Jesus looked for solitary moments... Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went
out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed. Mark 1:35
Another Amish Farm.
3 hours ago