Saturday, February 23, 2013

A Sence of Peace

It has taken over week, and a full three days of "nothingness", along with two escapes of several hours duration, but I am finally beginning to feel recharged. The tension is melting away and I am finally feeling somewhat relaxed.

I've done some searching and praying, and come to the conclusion that moments of solitude are crucial to my survival. They will not likely drop into my lap as full-time caregiver, therefore I must make them happen. (prayers to this end this are appreciated...). The introvert inside can not cope with life in general unless it happens, and so I embark on a new quest. I am not yet certain how I will accomplish this somewhat daunting yet necessary feat, only that it must be done, and that it will likely take me away from home at regular intervals as the other option does not leave absolutely solitary moments, and it will probably mean leaving Mom home alone.

I have Sunday yet before me, a not so relaxing day lately, and then a mostly quiet Monday before the routine gets running in full gear again. There is a pot of leftover chicken soup on the stove, the gift of pie fresh from the oven (blueberry peach), and an evening at home waiting. I think maybe I am once again in the place where I can tolerate working a puzzle with Mom.

It helps to know that even Jesus looked for solitary moments... Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed. Mark 1:35

13 comments:

  1. yup -

    this

    Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed. Mark 1:35

    is what I was thinking as I read your entry. Jesus understands this, Martha. ♥
    He will make a way for you... and the days He doesn't, He will carry you. That's a mighty fine yoke He offers. ♥

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    1. Perhaps this is what I am missing... And, I have missed Ladies' Prayer way more than I'd like this past month or two. It makes a huge difference.

      Praying for Ducky's safe arrival.

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  2. big understanding sigh.
    love you.

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    Replies
    1. I know you do, Judi.
      And I love you too.

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  3. You sound like me. I crave solitude and it is a necessity for my survival! truly!! When I have a few crazy weeks of stress I can feel it building and solitude is the best medicine. It is healing in a way that nothing else is. I told The Mister that I felt like snatching everyone's head off earlier this week. lol. A sure sign that I need some alone time. Snow days and a dying cat have not helped. But these things, too, will pass....

    I have also found that I have to guard my days carefully. I have been known to decline an invitation to do something fun with a friend because my week is getting too busy. I have to have those days at home alone! Some of my girlfriends don't understand this...they are the opposite and when they are stressed they want to go out to lunch and vent it to someone. haha...but that doesn't do it for me like solitude! (it can also add to my stress to be the listener! ha.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Betsy, I thought you would relate. The other day, in my quest to convey what I was feeling, I wrote this "If I am totally honest, whilst pulling prickles from my own hide, I have been feeling absolutely prickly myself. 'I'm someone's porcupine. And so are you,' has come to mind more than once, and although porcupines don't throw their quills, I have literally wanted to pull the quills from under my skin and hurl them at whoever was close enough to impale. I have not been feeling nice at all (though I am desperately trying to be nice)."

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    2. haha...I was reading that thinking I hadn't seen it before. Yes, it's really hard to bite your tongue sometimes. And it's true that everyone is prickly sometimes. There are many times I'd love to use my blog as a place to vent, too, but I have too many people that read it who know me personally...family, friends, or this small very nosy village. lol. And yeah, I'd like to hurl quills at them all sometimes, too! haha.

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    3. I'm afraid I let a bit steam escape every once in a while... But just a little bit. :(

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  4. I love solitude. Tough to find it whilst living in a 5th wheel with hubby. He thinks we are conjoined twins and always asks to tag along with me on outings. Noooo!

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  5. I've been discovering my introvert side in the past week or so too. It was a blog on homeschooling as an introvert mom that helped my discovery. I always wondered why homeschooling only one child put me over the edge sometimes (plus Zade!). It's because I can never be alone! One time I scared Joel when I came home so giddy from just being out alone :). I will pray for you to find time alone and I wish I could help in some way. If I think of something I'll let you know.

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    Replies
    1. Sherri, I have been reflecting on my homeschooling years too and wondering if that is why I was often so overwhelmed that I couldn't function. James never fully understood why I wanted so desperately to send my kids to summer camp.

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