Lost at Sea

I'm not sure when I was last so lost in a sea of unfamiliar thoughts and emotions. I suppose that this is the way of life sometimes. There are periods when we are unsure of what to do and even more unsure of the outcome. I desperately want a voice from heaven to tell me what is the right thing, but I know God doesn't work that way. All I can do is reach out for Him and pray that His is the hand I am holding.

I have answered many questions during the past two weeks, hard questions, questions that cause me to step back and reexamine my own heart. They are questions that made me uncomfortable the first time around, and it is probable that I will be asked to answer those same questions again today, or maybe tomorrow, when Mom either forgets she already asked or isn't quite sure of the answer. Each time I groan inside, not because of her, but because the answer is so difficult to start with.

I am not in a state of deep depression or anything, just cautious and contemplative, trying to sort thoughts and do the right thing, but never entirely sure what that is. Bethany came over to make pies on Wednesday. We had a house full of people. My little flowers were present. Josh was bouncing around. Dave had come with Simon and Lucas while Leta went to clean my cousin's house (he pulled a muscle in his back the other day), and Hannah had a friend over. Grandma never came into the kitchen until it was close to supper time. I don't know whether the activity throws her off or if she just rolls with it like she always has. It's hard to tell and I am not an asker of questions. When Dave took the boys home and my little garden was asleep, the house was actually quiet. It was a busy, productive day. We made 18 pies plus used up some of the leftover dough for a chicken pot pie. We ate that for supper and it was yummy!

Enjoy my bouncing boys below. See? We really are still smiling.