Monday, November 08, 2010

Caught in a Storm

A stiff wind blows and the waves are rough. Our little boat is tossed to and fro by the storm. We are drenched by the the spray and uncertain which direction we are headed. Though we know He is in the boat, it appears as though He is asleep. When we cry out there is no answer and we must trust that, as long as He is with us in the the boat, He will get us safely to the shore. It is the journey between here and there that causes us to fear.

Life sometimes takes an unexpected turn and spins out of our control. It goes in a direction we never imagined and couldn't prepare for. All we can do is hold on tight and pray that when the ride is over we are all still buckled into our seats. Where will it end? Is there really a light at the end of the tunnel or is it another train barreling down from the opposite direction? What are the casualties going to be?

All I really ever wanted was a chance to sift slowly through our childhood home with my sisters, to have the time and space to make the difficult and yet so important decisions that come with an aging, dependent parent and her property. It is our job to do. It can not be passed on or handed off to anyone else. We need to do it ourselves without any outside pressure, without the questions of others, and without trying to work around others living in the home. That is really all I ever asked. Grandchildren can not make those decisions and it is not their responsibility to clean out drawers, cabinets, cupboard, or attics. Do I really need to give a better reason? Is is not enough to simply say it would be best if you found another place? Do I really have to pay for that decision with a broken or crippled relationships? Do I really have to explain that decision?

I can not run away, I can not hide, and I can not pretend all is well. I can only trust that when the master of the ship decides the time is right, He will calm the storm. Soon the little house will be empty and, with hearts heavier than anticipated, we will resume the task of closing another chapter in our lives. I pray the story has a happy ending.

9 comments:

  1. On my knees again for you and your family difficult and stormy ride. He may be asleep, but He's in the boat... I love you Martha!

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  2. Your making me cry.

    Do I need to come stand guard so you can do you job?

    listen up kin folk:
    GMJ is getting testy, don't get in Martha's way. There, I said my peace now I will trust in God to do the guidance.

    Hugs and prayers.

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  3. I hope the process becomes happy...not just the end. :)

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  4. You KNOW I'm praying! Love you! Pam

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  5. Gosh, Martha. I've been missing out on a lot of stuff going on. I'm sorry to hear about all this. I'll be praying for the family.

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  6. "...It goes in a direction we never imagined and couldn't prepare for..."

    Yes! and that is actually GOOD news! for "we walk by faith not by sight" I think you are in the middle of a God ordained lesson. You are finding it hard but that does not make it bad. God wants you to keep your eyes on HIM not on the storm. God wants you to find HIS peace not peace just because it is peaceful. Through prayer God wants you to (in your prayer closet) tear down strongholds. God wants you to sacrifice your will on the altar and lift up your voice in praise for HIS will.

    Yes! Walk by faith not by sight. I wish I could explain it better...
    As the hand of God is etching on your heart I pray that you will submit and not resist and that you will truly learn about Him and His ways.

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  7. Our own resistance always causes us pain, but we often forget or don't realize the pain it causes those around us as well. If we only knew...

    Cindy, nothing takes God by surprise and I have learned that in the roughest of seas, He is there. I know to hold on, I know to trust, but I am still learning how to let go of the side of the boat... or maybe I'm supposed to hold on sometimes... It is easy to see that the disciples needed only to trust, but I'm fairly certain it was another thing to actually BE one of them.

    Thank you all for your prayers. There are many times when I fall on my knees but the words just don't come. God knows.

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  8. Betsy, I'm still praying for a resolution for you and yours too. I often think of my other blogger friend who appears no longer there. I think of her when I step over my mother's oxygen hose and wonder how her game of "jump rope" is going. I pray she is well.

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