Rachel and I were out with our brother Tim. Today was his birthday and I'd brought him a piece of apple pie as a special treat. He ate the pie, along with a few other snacks, but didn't make eye contact with either of us and let his head hang forward in a sleepy detached kind of manner for most of the drive. Severe autism, years of psychological drugs, age, and the passing of our parents have all taken a toll on our brother. He can't walk anymore, doesn't speak, and now appears depressed as well.
I thought back through the years and wondered what kind of a birthday Tim might have had fifty years ago. I attempted to figure out how old he might have been. Of course, being blond, I set to figuring the hard way... Tim was born in 1958. I tried to add or subtract a few numbers (I honestly can't even recall now what I was trying to do), and suddenly realized I was not thinking logically. All I really had to do was some simple thinking. I didn't even need to strain my brain. Fifty-six minus fifty leaves six. (Hey, what do you know? I'm fifty. That would have been 1964...) Okay, now you get the idea and realize my math genius.
Not to be outdone, Rachel had a math moment of her own. We went to Wendy's for a Frosty, two Frosties actually. The total came to $2.79. I checked my pockets and handed her a $1 bill, 3 quarters, and 4 pennies. She only needed to add one dollar. She handed the cashier $2.85 (2 dollar bills, 3 quarters, and a dime). "I gave you seventy-nine cents," I told her. She looked at me in the rear view mirror and said, "But I only had four pennies.."
I somehow felt relieved at not being the only blond member of the family.
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PS. I took my camera along today, but it wasn't the happiest of birthdays and I didn't think taking pictures would be the kindest thing to do. So, you get some photos from happier days.
I'm sorry it wasn't the best birthday for Tim. Life wasn't fair to him. I feel sad about it too.
ReplyDeleteIt was a very sad kind of visit.
Delete:(
Oh Martha...
ReplyDeleteYou may not be a math genius....
But you sure have the touch to tug at heartstrings♥️
Love the way you write about your dear brother Tim....
I am sure deep inside....he feels your compassion....
Cheers! My friend
Linda :o)
ps...took Erika 4 hours to drive 50 kms!
Her and Miss V safe and sound!
I had much better math days in high school, even a 99% average in algebra, but the old I get the less simple it is... ha ha!
DeleteI only wish the key to reaching him could have been found years ago. We love him and feel helpless at the same time. I do hope he knows and I think he does too.
So glad Erika and Miss V made it home safe. Looks like it's going to be a vicious winter.
Haha about the math. That was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI have seen such a huge decline in Tim over the last 10 months, it's crazy. To not even have the pleasure of having him look me in the eye or give me a big smile is really sad... the limited connection we had has been cut off. It's tough to tell if he even cares that we came, although he must. I wonder what they'll find with all the testing...
Rachel, it was great! And for the record, I know you can make 79 cents just a s well as I can subtract 50 from 56. I think we both had our minds on Tim instead.
DeleteI wonder if the testing will reveal anything too. I'd so like to have the mobile, smiling Tim back.
I love you. Thank you for being such a great little sister to that brother of ours.
I do love reading about your visits with Tim, even if some are more difficult. I know he had to enjoy the Apple Pie.
ReplyDeleteHe inhaled it. :0)
DeleteWhat I'd really like to know is if he thought it tasted like Mom's.
:)
I chuckled as I read your "making change" adventure. And sorry to read that Tim is not making that "connection" anymore with you sisters. Cherish those pictures you get today, and especially those that you've taken in the past. Those will be your precious memory triggers down the road. I loved all of these you shared here.
ReplyDeleteDon, we are hoping the doctors currently trying to assess his situation will find a way to help our brother. In many ways he's had what appears to be a tough and unfair life, but he is much loved and always has been.
DeleteThank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
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