Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mom's Day Expectations

I have come to the conclusion that special holidays often set us up for disappointment. Mother's Day is a wonderful holiday, set aside to honor moms and let them know how much we love and appreciate them. Unfortunately, many moms look forward to something that never happens and our children (and husbands) never know exactly why we feel let down. We try not to feel expectant, we fight off disappointment, and we often end up feeling let down anyway. It's those darn expectations.

As a daughter I feel as though I have let my own mother down on this special day. This year I failed to even get a card together. I wanted to write her a special poem or story, but somehow, it didn't happen. We did gather the family and had a nice lunch together at Rachel's house, but I had no gift to give the mom who has lavished so much love upon me through the years. Was Mom disappointed? It's hard to tell, and she probably wouldn't admit it anyway, but I think she was. I was disappointed too as I really wanted very much to do something nice for her.

Will I ever learn to take care of these things ahead of time? Is there a way to simplify and actually do it better? Maybe next year we will just eat lunch at home, gather at Mom's house for some dessert, and take her a nice pot of spring flowers and a giant Mother's Day card.


  1. Martha,

    I can't speak for your mother, but I can speak for myself. I would have been thrilled beyond words to have my family together for a lunch. That would have been gift enough for me.

    I am sure all of you hugged her and told her you loved her! Wished her a Happy Mother's Day in person! Hey, that is something I would cherish!


    I have to have a list.
    And sweety, praise God you still have your mother. This is the first year without mine. It's a little ouchy, but I survived. :D

  3. Yes, Judi, I still have her, and for that I am grateful. Each year is more precious than the past one.

    Lists, yes, it's all in the lists. How could I forget? Now if only I could remember what comes next. ;)

  4. Funny, this year I felt my mother was let down too....which in turn means I am down as well.:(

  5. Then I must have let her down as well.

  6. Tell me about it!!!! I am such a failure! I've been telling myself for 2 weeks to go buy cards and send them and I never did. I called but that was it... :-(

  7. oh my! Speaking only as a mother, looking at the family your mother has raised so incredibly well...Your mom must be so proud of the incredible family she has brought up..the memories you remember of her when you speak of her with such love..When she looks at all of you and feels the love you all have, not only for her but for your own beautiful families..You have given her so much more than words could ever say..You are all so incredible..
    in soooo many ways..
    Your mom, more than likely is so overwelmed with the love she has for you all and pride in who you have become..she is at a loss for words..but that is just a feeling I a mother, I can only say
    You are all truly blessed.

  8. I fall prey to expecting too much. This year Joel's birthday was on mother's day and it was actually nice, since I did not make any unrealistic demands. And something quite funny happened we were out shopping and I told him specifically "I would not want this item for mother's day." Well, he had already bought it, and had the audacity to still give it to me (from the boys!). I thought it was so hysterical that I wasn't upset in the least. I think God's working on me :)

    PS- I know I have disappointed my mom on mothers day. Sigh. Maybe those mistakes help us do better in the future. And I hope your mother really wasn't disappointed.

  9. Goodness.. I know exactly how you feel.. the heart wants to, but the mind doesn't cooperate!! I am so full of good intentions, I'd like to bless everyone!! But I procrastinate, then forget, then remember, etc.. I know I loved having everyone together, as did my mother when she was alive. I'm sure to have had a daughter like you in the first place, your Mom is probably not "materialistic" for lack of a better word, and I truly mean that as a compliment to both you and your mother!! And it's possible that your mom experienced similar times during her life! Just continue to be good to her, and appreciate her, you'll have no regrets!

  10. Cheryl, thank you for your kind words. I'm sure mom doesn't want anything fancy either, just to be remembered. :)

    Mom likely would have had similar experiences but she will probably never understand quite how it is to forget her mother. My grandmother died when Mom was just five years old.

  11. Oh, that's so sad! My mother's mom died when my mother was young, too, at 13. I remember reminding myself of that when I was a teenager, and I couldn't fathom it. She pretty much raised herself, passed from here to there.. and she turned out quite well! Amazing what people live through, isn't it? And God knows every single detail. And He has so much mercy. He knows your heart.