My Holiday Rant (It's over now. I'll be good after this.)

Deep inside I want desperately to love the month of December, this holiday called "Christmas", and all the wonder of the season, but no matter how hard I try to alleviate the pressure of the season, it comes swinging back around to hit me in the face and send me sprawling.

Truthfully, I want to be child again, gazing up into a black winter sky in the cold of night, snowflakes falling. I want to be a little girl, or at least possess the excitement of one, looking forward to Christmas Eve and enjoying all the sights and sounds along the way; Christmas concerts and pageants, bustling

shoppers, trips to the mall, and hot chocolate. I want to forget about deadlines, cleaning, and planning. I want to wear boots and mittens and play in the snow while the Christmas lights twinkle through the living room window. I want to decorate the cookies Mom baked, sing "Away in the Manger" in the backseat of the car while Dad drives down a dark country road, and although fully aware that Santa Claus is pretend, I want to sneak a peek at him while a long line of patient children snakes around the barriers surrounding his throne. I want to be awe struck by lights displays and living nativity scenes. I want to pick up a present, shake it, and try to guess what might be inside...

...but I'm not the little girl anymore and I'm not sure exactly how this Christmas will unfold. I have some gifts and we've planned a party, but for a few days after Christmas rather than on the day itself. (We wanted to wait for Jim, Michele, and the baby.) I've never done Christmas this way, so I'm not sure what we'll do on Christmas itself...

And, for the third year, we have my mom, who is not into Christmas or the holidays. She doesn't travel well, even across town. We're not allowed to fold her up and put her in a box in the closet while we do our thing and there is nowhere to send her. (Yes, I do want to send her somewhere... and that's not meant to be mean or unkind, I just honestly don't know what to do with her while other out of town family members are here. Please don't send me condescending notes telling me how I should be ashamed of myself and how you feel "sorry" for my mom. You are not here and you are not doing the job of caring for her. She is not abused or neglected. This is life, and today I feel like being honest and transparent. Today I am tired of this job, maybe tomorrow I will feel invigorated again. Maybe.)

Now, since court has been adjourned and we will not be heading south to lend the support of our presence, I think will go and find some cookies to frost. That is Christmas-like. I'd even play a few carols if I knew how to work the CD player.

V is for Vehicle

V is for vehicle, motor vehicle.

My youngest daughter took her road test this morning and is now the proud holder of a motor vehicle license. This is a milestone for us. All seven of our children are now licensed drivers. Scary.


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Who, Me?

Every once in a while I am blessed to catch a rare photo... It looks like they're both playing innocent and if I didn't know better, I'd say the fish is missing.

Hannah and I are having a mini vacation. No small children until Thursday.

Little Bits of Nothing

1. I did not succeed in changing my grocery shopping day. I did try, but weekday life interrupted my plan. Instead I determined to leave the house earlier than usual on Saturday morning and hope to beat the holiday madness. I consider the effort a success.

2. Pumpkin Pie should not be a soda flavor. It is just wrong. Pumpkin is intended to flavor yummy desserts and fall soups. It does not belong in a bottle of fizz. If you want to be different, stick to something like sarsaparilla.

3. Churches and other "public" places should not have lids on their restroom commodes. No one entering a stall in a public facility is prepared to lift the lid, and sitting down on a toilet lid is just plain disturbing.


4. Wegmans carries all kinds of goodies one might otherwise have to travel in order to acquire. Although the convenience is appreciated, driving across the boarder into Canada would make the acquisition more of an adventure. In spite of the lack of excitement in the location I did find the reward satisfying.

5. Sometimes mice will clean your kitchen while you are away at church on Sunday morning. All my dishes were washed and stacked neatly in the dish drainer when I came home today. (Thanks, Ben,)

Sneak Peak

Christmas is right around the corner and every year I like to come up with a project. I was inspired by some Pinterest ideas and a box of old, felted wool sweaters in my basement. One never knows just where this will go... I have this awful temptation to go back in Goodwill and find some more material, but I think I'd better use up what I've go first... or start rolling some more snowballs.

More Chillens

By the end of August I was fairly certain I was losing my mind. I scaled my childcare duties back to the bare minimum; one small girl 4 days each week, and  two others to put on and off the school bus here and there. The reduction in outside responsibilities has given me a renewed ability to be here for my own grandchildren without feeling like I might need to hide under the bed or in the closet. I've actually been enjoying my five in-the-area grandkids and I can't wait until my little out-of-state grandson comes to visit too!

Yesterday morning brought four children, the bus brought another late in the afternoon, and two others showed up for dinner. (We even kept one overnight!) My house may never be clean, there may always be dishes in the sink, and there may always be fighting and tears, but there will always be laughter too. (Remind me of this in another couple weeks, please...) They really stay small for such a very short time.

Jakie always makes me smile. I love his little tiny bit of hair, his impish grin, and the way he shows affection. He has a good pitching arm already and is fast, fast! There's no time to duck when he throws something. (That green blur is a Beanie Bay dinosaur he lobbed at Josh.)

They all make me smile for different reasons. There is something truly wonderful about grandchildren. I'm so glad God saw fit to bless me with them. "Wing me woun, Hannie! Wing me weewie wass!" And so Aunt Hannie spun around, really fast.

3X Thursday

It's that time again. We're meeting over at Kristina's to play the game. Bring your own cup of coffee and a plate of cookies to share, or maybe some really cute cupcakes. :0)

Cake Boss

My people (James and Hannah) have found a new source of entertainment on Netflix; Cake Boss and The Next Great Baker. I must admit, it's been a little bit of a distraction for me too. I love the artistic side of it, but my practical side just doesn't know how to absorb the frivolity. (Maybe I should just stick to cookies...)

Between Besty's English chocolate and watching these baking shows, my mind is leaning toward all things sweet and yummy. James and I found a small shop in Ridgeway, Ontario a couple years ago where imported candies were sold, but then in a google search I found this super looking German Bakery in Crystal Beach. Oh, my! I think I know where I'm going the next time I'm north of the border.

I am impressed by those who are able to build cakes, even frivolous ones. I'm not fooled into believing everything under that frosting and fondant is actually cake, but it does look like a lot of fun. If I could nominate someone as contestant on the Next Great Baker, I'd pick my sister in law Kim. She makes some pretty fancy looking cakes.

PS. Hey, Betsy, that candy store in Ridgeway has a Facebook page and guess what? I asked them if they have Cadbury Flakes and they said, "We sure do!"

U is for Uninvited

U is for uninvited.

A friend recently gave me a basket of apples. The basket wasn't full, and the apples weren't premium quality, but the kids and my mother have been enjoying them. We'd set the bushel basket of them inside the basement door about halfway down, on the landing, because it's cool and dark there. Yesterday afternoon I discovered one of the apples had been sampled. Today I discovered whoever made a meal of the forbidden fruit Sunday night, had returned for seconds last night. Apparently some folks eat and poop in exactly the same spot. Ew.


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It Was On a Monday

We had no children today. No one to put on or off the school bus, and no one to keep an eye on for the day. So, Hannah and I decided to go shopping. First I needed to renew my dog's license and buy a roll of postage stamps, and after that we headed toward Webster. Hannah was my chauffeur. We had just crossed the county line when the van bleated out a loud warning, "BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!!!" and the right rear wheel started to make a strange thumping sound. Hannah said something about having a heart attack and pulled off the side of the highway. A quick glance out the passenger side door confirmed our suspicions, the back tire was flat.

I did what any quick witted and able-bodied woman would do in this situation. I pulled out my cell phone and put in a call to My Darling. Thankfully he answered his phone and was soon on his way to rescue the damsels in distress. (Hannah may have a bit of experience changing tires, but I don't.) As we sat waiting, hazard lights blinking, radio singing, and van shaking every time something passed by, we thought of good reasons to be thankful.

- I have a cell phone.
- The battery, which started to cry out an "I'm dying" warning just after my call to James, was not too dead to make a call.
- It wasn't raining.
- It was 40 degrees instead of 20, like a few days ago.
- The wind wasn't whipping around.
- It wasn't dark
-We weren't in a hurry.
- We were only in Webster instead of on the other side of Rochester.
- We had no children with us.
- We had no Grandma with us.
- My bladder, though full, was not ready to explode.
- Help was on the way.

James soon pulled up behind us, yanked the offending tire from it's moorings, and replaced it with a funny, gold-rimmed spare. "Drive slow," he advised. "Maybe you should take Ridge Road." So, off we went to the shopping plaza where I suddenly found myself overwhelmed and not quite sure what to do. In spite of my inability to think during the holiday madness, Hannah was able to pick out a couple of gifts. I think maybe I'll just throw a grand holiday party when Jim and Michele come home.

Reprioritizing

Old Toys and Little Boys

This morning we had a couple of small visitors. They came to play with Grammy while little sister went to see the doctor. (She has croup...) I decided to get out the blocks and wooden train set. "I didn't know you had trains," one of them said. I probably have other things they don't know or have forgotten about, but today we stuck to the train set and a big box of building blocks.

Making Pie... Kind of

Today I frosted my "pie" cookies and I have to admit, I am pleased. Hannah helped me get the pumpkin color just right and tomorrow we will have pumpkin pie and pumpkin pie cookies. Hopefully this guarantees leftovers because we all know how yummy pumpkin pie is for breakfast the day after Thanksgiving.

These little "pies" turned out so nice that I am actually looking forward to using this method of frosting Christmas cookies. Maybe I have found an outlet for my "inner artist" after all. Now if only I can keep from feeding the monster (the cookie monster) that is also within. "Down, Monster! Down!"

T is for Trucks

T is for trucks.

Around about this time of year one of Santa's elves sets up shop in our barn. He's a maker of wooden trucks Last year he put these beauties together; two fork lifts, two tractor trailer trucks, and two flatbed trucks.

 

We packed the back of each truck with a load of logs tied up in red ribbons.  What lucky little boys to have such a talented grandpa!  

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Crafts and Cookies

Somewhere deep inside of me is someone with creative talent. Every year when Thanksgiving comes around, I start to think of Christmas treats and presents and long to create something wonderful. This is why I have a closet full of fabric and felt, pompoms and pipe cleaners, wooden shapes and pieces, and silly things like googly eyeballs. Once in a while I pull off something fun, but mostly I am so distracted and in such a hurry that I don't live up to my own expectations. ( I rather like these snowmen. I wonder if mine will turn out even remotely similar...)

I've been liking the looks of fancy decorated cookies too. I baked a batch of bears and "gingerbread" men last week. I even mixed up a giant bowl of frosting, but somewhere along the line I got overwhelmed and, well... we started eating unfrosted cookies. Maybe somewhere between here and Christmas, I will find a bit of calm (it's happened other years) and whip up something that makes me smile. I'm not sure it will be Fisher Price Little People, though I do love these. Maybe something a little simpler, like some candy canes or Christmas trees.

Place of Refuge

Kindness

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control

There it is right in the middle. Kindness. It should also be in me, along with love and patience, but I am afraid that all too often I am not feeling it. It's especially hard at certain times, times when hormones rage and I feel out of control. I try to be nice, I really do, but it's so hard those days. I'm not sure what to do about it and my mother won't be giving me any advice on this stage of life. She always claimed that hormones didn't bother her, though her children all knew different. We knew when to clear out and leave Mom to herself and clear out we did. Sadly, I can't get away from me at my times and the closer I get to that magic birthday that I am in complete denial of (it won't arrive until March) the worse my mood swings become. If I am to be honest, I haven't liked me much this past week, and I wouldn't blame anyone else if they didn't like me much either. Isn't there some special tea or potion I could drink to calm me down and sooth the savage beast within? Something non-alcoholic? Does Saint John's Wort really help? Or should I just find a strong sedative and sleep through that particular week each month? (insert winky face here)

PS. Just in case you think I'm not being nice, I'm trying. Really I am.

Weekend Wrap

One day this week I actually cleaned under- neath my couches. That sounds wrong... I often vacuum under them, but this week I physically moved the furniture in order to clean. I found lots of treasures in the process; chewy sticks for Sofie, Duplos, play food, a sticker, an old cellphone... All this stuff and I'm still missing my marbles. Go figure.

Today is Saturday, the day I am typically out running errands, but not this week. I am home instead. I've been playing with my scroll saw and imagining I am an elf at the North Pole, which isn't so difficult at the moment. It's snowing! I'm rather thankful to be home instead of out lugging groceries through a cold, windy parking lot.

 Rocky had some fun painting yesterday. I bought a cheap set of watercolors and a pad of kid's watercolor paper. I drew a few trees with permanent marker and she did the rest. If you think of it, please pray for my Friday patience level. Although I start out the week kind and loving, by the time Friday afternoon arrives (and sometimes by Thursday afternoon), I find I am completely lacking. *sigh*

And now I am back to my scroll sawing...

The Husbandman

I'm tired this afternoon. It's one of those times when a good hot cup of coffee would probably help. It's one of those times where I am emotionally tired,  yet know that God is working something bigger in me and in those I love than I could ever imagine.

“Let us never forget that the Husband- man is never so near the land as when he is plowing it, the very time when we are tempted to think He hath forsaken us. His plowing is a proof that He thinks you of value, and worth chastening: for He does not waste His plowing on the barren sand. He will not plow continually, but only for a time, and for a definite purpose. Soon, aye soon, we shall, through these painful processes and by His gentle showers of grace, become His fruitful land.” -Lettie B. Cowman

This was posted by a friend the other day and it spoke to my heart. God doesn't let His children run wild and undisciplined, and just like any good parent, He knows that disappointment and adversity strengthen character and resolve. Though we are often tempted to soften the blows life doles out to our children, it is these very disappointments that grow compassion and understanding in their hearts.

S is for Switch

S is for switch.

Normally I do my banking and go shopping on Saturdays, but this holiday season I am planning on pulling a little switcharoo and changing my errand day to Monday or Tuesday. I don't mind going out on Saturday during Christmas, but I think it would be a wiser use of time to do most of the running around on a calmer day of the week. Besides, Saturdays during the month of December are really meant for parties and playing.

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