Bits and Pieces

 * February is one very cold month. We are past the days of sub zero temperatures/wind chills. (Rachel and I took a winter walk one frigid Sunday afternoon.) Possibly a March blizzard, because that normally happens, and then we can begin to hope for warmer days and increasing sunshine.

* My new job has been going well. I'm settling in, I think, although there are still days when I feel strangely out of place. I felt like that on Monday a little while before my boss told me, "You're a rock star!" I also saw a few familiar customer faces and found a friend's daughter smiling at me through the drive up window. It's been a good change.

* This month marks 43 years since my brother's passing, and today is the 12th anniversary of my mom's graduation to heaven's shore. Time doesn't slow down at all. It just keep gaining momentum. It really is a long strange trip...

* I had some fun felting a sleeping mouse a couple of weeks ago. I put it to bed in a piece of China on a ball of upholstery stuffing. It makes me smile but I haven't bothered to make him any friends. (I have an ample supply of upholstery fuzz due to having my new loveseat repaired... More mice are sure to arrive in the future and they'll all have soft nests.)

* I am headed out of town tomorrow. Going out to breakfast with my sisters, and then on to Connecticut overnight. I'll be back again on Sunday. A rather whirlwind trip. Maybe I'll take a picture or two. 

Kickin' It In the Goal

The little calendar/planner I bought last year is coming in handy. With my hours at work drastically reduced (I have just 11 this week, down from 37 1/2 from May through November), I have purposed to set simple weekly goals. Things like "update my resume," "fill out an application," and "deposit all the cash hidden in mugs on my dresser."

I saw my primary care physician yesterday and can check my "not so yearly" physical off my list. I made Dr. M. happy by keeping up with the dentist, the eye doctor, and having had the shingles vaccine. I also accepted the flu shot. I could see him smiling behind the mask. Tomorrow I'll have the "not so yearly" mammogram, and next week the DEXO scan that measures bone density. Add a visit to my favorite chiropractor and an allergy shot and who has time for work? 

I've had two interviews this month. One at Panera Bread last week, which I thought went well, but the only response I received was an email saying "Thank you for taking the time to complete your application with Panera Bread. We truly appreciate your interest in joining our team and the effort you put into the interview process..." 

Yesterday morning I had a phone interview with Wegmans, the fabulous, local grocery store. They ask all kinds of prying questions and afterward I just wanted to cry. I can do the job and do it well, but I'm not good at interviews and I can't lie when they ask hard questions.  Dunkin has me scheduled for 15 hours next week so it's taking me two weeks to make less than I previously earned in one. Tonight I'll be filling out the paper Hobby Lobby application I picked up a few weeks back.

I spent Sunday with my friend Ruth who helped me figure out how to put a boarder on an afghan I started back in September of 2015. I'm feeling accomplished even if it did take ten years to finish. Ha ha!

Maybe tomorrow I will start weeding through my clothing collection I have enough clothes to dress several women, as long as they wash them weekly. (They will need extra underwear though.) I'm not necessarily a clothes horse, but I could definitely whittle down my supply. That's all for now as I'd prefer not to mention the chaos that is currently overtaking my eldest son's former home state and the city of several good friends. My heart is broken.

Feeling Cozy

 A post before November slips through my fingers and disappears.

Winter is just around the corner. We had a taste of it this week, complete with snow two to three inches thick on my car Tuesday morning. Good thing I keep that snow brush handy year round! On Monday morning my gloves were still hidden away upstairs, but I'd heard more snow was in the forecast and donned both my new Grinch hat and last year's gloves when the snow was deep and formidable. My commute is barely long enough to warm up the car and I am super thankful for my heated seat.

I've recently revisited my felting needles and stabbed out a few fabulous friends. I have six complete, aside from hangers and they're so cute. Unfortunately the arthritis in my left thumb/wrist is not in favor of my creativity. (Either that or I was too enthusiastic about finishing more penguins than my hands could handle.) I'd hoped for five penguins and five snowmen by Saturday but may have to be happy with what I have, which is better than nothing. Ruth and I are doing another craft sale.

Speaking of Ruth, we went out shopping a couple Saturdays ago. I texted her early that morning and said I wanted to go looking at furniture. There is nothing quite like a best friend to encourage us on the adventure. LOL! First we went to Bob's Discount Furniture where we saw some fabulous dining room sets, and then we went to Ashley where I fell in love with a cute little loveseat the perfect size for the end of my living room. So, so cozy. It arrived today and I love it!

The Powers That Be decided to shake things up a bit at work. The manager that hired me a year ago was suddenly moved into a different position outside of our store. (It was a surprise to her as well...) We got a new manager along with three new employees who had formerly worked with her at a different coffee shop. The first week was tough with the entire store being rearranged and few of us sure what was happening. This week was better. We're getting to know each other and falling into a groove. Maybe it's going to be okay after all.

Bits and Pieces

 * I picked up my fused glass nightlight this afternoon. It turned out beautiful for a first time project. The only problem is half our electrical outlets were installed upside down. (Thanks, Dad! LOL!) Thankfully, there are a few, installed in more recent years, upside up.

* A bit of snow is expected through tomorrow. I'm planning to meet a friend at church in the morning and attend a show where my son's band is playing in the afternoon. You've got to love February in Rochester.

* My newest grandbaby will be making his arrival in the next few weeks. It never gets old.

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

It feels as if our world is falling apart around us... but in the midst of our governmental chaos, I went out and forgot about all our troubles for a few hours. My friend and neighbor, Beth, invited me to attend a fused glass class with her. She'd been eager to try it and asked me about it when we were out together in December. It sounded like fun and so I agreed.

I went into the class with no expectation at all. On the table were sheets and shards of colored glass, all kinds of glass beads, and glass straws. I picked up pieces of green and red glass, fingered rainbow colored beads, and stared at straws of orange, blue and yellow... 

Years back I dreamed of broken glass mosaics... I have a Pinterest board dedicated to brokenness... I even bought a nipper and a pair of goggles, but I although my own broken pieces are coming back together, I hadn't yet put it into a picture. Not until yesterday. It's a fabulous beginning.

A Slow Pace

We're making progress... It's a three steps forward two steps back kind of thing, but after years of trying to figure things out on my own and being ignored by everyone I asked, I finally gave in and asked The Cabinetmaker for some advice on my room. He's offering suggestions and I trust that he won't steer me wrong. I appreciate his willingness to help, although I expected nothing less.

I skipped my pottery class this past Tuesday and didn't mind staying home at all. The class was feeling a bit more intense than I could handle this past week. Lots of researching pottery styles and artists, and smashing those together with our own mug designs. I'm supposed to have 12-13 mugs drawn but I don't have the brain capacity for that after getting up at 5 am every day and dealing with squalling babies for 8 hours. Honestly, I was already emotional and I'm still a bit of a puddle. I'll go back to class again, but I'm not sure what capacity of participation in detailed drawings I can muster.

"Puddle" would describe me well these past couple of weeks. Growing and healing are painful, and I'm finding once again that uncontrollable tears are cleansing. I don't always know what sets off the deep seated sadness. There are no words to describe the ache deep in my chest, I can only tell you that it's a feeling I've grappled with ever since I can remember. I always thought it was normal, but I'm finding instead a wound that needs to be tended, if only I can reach it...

My cousins and I are still meeting on Friday nights. Man Haters Club is going strong. I've been throwing bowls and building cups by hand and will probably stick to amassing a collection of functional pieces. Mugs, cups and bowls are not only easier to sell, but they make fabulous gifts.

Slow Goin'

It's slow going with the attic bedroom. We've run into a snag with condensation that likes to build up around the insulation. I've tried to keep the job simple, but simple jobs have a way of spiraling into complicated jobs and this one is no exception. (Ask me why I hesitated so long to do this...) I will likely have to take out a loan of some kind (when I find out how much the solution will cost) and raise the rent on my tenants. (I kid on the second one, kind of... I would sell my firstborn but he's not mine anymore.)

On a positive note, my dentist appointments are all accomplished and paid in full. I don't have to go back until Halloween. There's something to smile about. Ha ha!

Work has been stressful. Lots of changes, mostly in staff but also with children. Last year all four of my girls came five days a week. I had them from October through June when two left us for the summer. This year has not been so predictable. My twins come four days and they are the only two who've come consistently since September. I lost two of those who started in September. At present three friends come two days a week, one comes three, and yet another only on Friday. It's impossible to set a completely predictable schedule but we do the best we can. (That's just my baby room. We have another with a roster just as crazy.) I'm ready for a vacation but not at all sure how to fit that in with the rest of life's craziness.

Man Haters Club and Stuff

 It's been an interesting week, which is why I shouldn't go days upon days, and weeks upon weeks without setting my thoughts to words...

Last weekend's excitement was family history and genealogical research. The short version; my sister found one maternal great, great grandmother's maiden name, along with her parents and siblings. She had been previously known as simply "Emma." Now she has a history. ---- I learned that my paternal great grandfather had a step father who died in 1938. Through this we were able to track down his mother, Augusta, and his half sister, Pauline. ---- But the biggest find was an unknown first cousin. The DNA connection twas discovered months ago but the names were unfamiliar and there were few clues to how we were related. While searching old newspapers last week, I found a news article that put the pieces together. Old newspapers are gold. My cousin passed away in 1996, but he left behind several children who are now grown. Pretty wild.

Last night my friend Dan finally made it to our Friday night pottery group, affectionately known as Man Haters Club. He threw a bowl for us and then gave us some pointers in improving our throwing skills. (I took pictures of Julie throwing a pot.) It was a great night and I feel more confident in reclaiming my ability to throw a decent bowl. Julie also invited a guy they met in early December. He mixes his own glazes and it was fun talking to him too. Even Mike, who gave us the moniker, came downstairs a couple of times.

It was a slightly different kind of Friday night, but in a totally good way. Dan, sometimes known as "the chiropractor" seemed pleased to find "there was no (man) hating." It was amusing to find the glaze mixer and a friend of my cousin both knew him from somewhere. The Glaze Guy from the pottery studio, and the friend because she had gone to high school with his daughter. It's a small world, after all...

I accomplished a few things today. Had blood drawn for a fasting blood test (appointment for a physical next Monday), had my car detailed (Yes! It's clean inside!!!), and moved my bed downstairs so we can begin the terribly frightening task of redoing my attic bedroom. It's not a monumental task (tearing out old paneling and insulation, re-insulating, and putting up new paneling) but it's one I can't do alone. It's also one I don't want to leave until summer. Now begins the arduous task of letting go of things and simplifying my life. I do not want to be owned by my possessions. I can do this, even if I did just wish for a coaster when I threw out a stack of them 3 days ago...

Ain't That Fancy?

We have a new sidewalk/ sitting area. I don't know if it's big enough to be called a patio... but it sure is pretty! And to think all I needed to do was order a load of crushed stone! Now we're talking a small patio set, a table and a couple of chairs. And of course we'll need a potted plant or two come spring.

My son in law and his brothers are absolutely amazing!

I Like Saturdays

I didn't have any big plans for today. Nowhere urgent to be, no meetings with friends. That's tomorrow. I slept later than I'd planned, a little too late apparently. I missed the morning's rainstorm that drenched the inside of my car. It hasn't rained at all until this week and I left my windows half down all night. I even checked the forecast before I went to bed. I missed the part where it was supposed to rain this morning. Oops.

I worked on cleaning the gara... I mean "Veranda" today. Even took myself into Home Goods while I was out and found some spiffy indoor/outdoor carpets. I sent several photos to Hannah and then, since I couldn't decide, and the garage is big, I bought two!  Back home I did a lot of sweeping and vacuuming, a bit of rearranging, and some stowing of boxes in the attic. It's not completely done, but it's looking pretty nice. We've been eating dinner out there, sitting, watching rain storms, and enjoying the space.

Tomorrow I have afternoon/evening plans with some friends. Maybe I'll take my camera along for the journey.

Shedding Some Light (Or Lightening Some Sheds)

I'm cleaning out sheds. 

Over the weekend I emptied one half full woodshed into another half full woodshed compartment. (There are four separate areas to the long woodshed behind the garage.)

 I now have one empty woodshed and one full woodshed compartment.

I also consolidated all the garden tools and snow shovels into a Compartment #2.
See the firewood peeking through the slat divider?

Today I took my brand new shop-vac out to the Garden House in the back corner and cleaned out decades of old dirt and spider webs. It's looking pretty spiffy!

This is Compartment #3. We had Big Ideas about building something fun out of our old tires... Who knows? Maybe it will still happen. Only time will tell.

(I have no picture of Compartment #4, which appeared when Dad closed up the gap between the garage and the long shed in order to make a place to keep bicycles, but there aren't any bikes in there. It's more of a "catch-all" at the moment.)

And then there is this beauty. This is a cinder block "dungeon" off the back of Dad's Garden House. He'd hoped to keep vegetables there in the winter, but neglected to fill the cinder block walls with concrete, and it failed to be weather proof. It's another "catch-all" which I will empty a little at a time depending on how brave I feel. I took a few pieces out of there today. Mostly I'm afraid of critters. Ha ha! It's not she-shed material, that's for sure. I don't have any plans for this space other than storage and I'm not sure what.

Our garage is looking a little less congested too. It's far from the summer living area I'm dreaming of but I have two weeks before July is upon us. Stay tuned to see if we make it happen.

One Looonnnngggg Weekend

The past week has felt like one very long, stretched out weekend. Not quite a vacation, but a very long weekend. Yesterday was the toughest day. Emotionally drained and looking for sunshine, instead we had rain and gray skies. I spent the better part of my day sorting through and rearranging boxes, taking them out of the attic, and putting them in the attic. When it's all said and done I still won't know where anything is, but hopefully I'll have less of it. Or at least it will take up less space. Ha ha!

Late in the afternoon I took myself around the block. I needed to walk it out, so while Hannah, Sergio, and Idris took a ride to pick up some pizza, I walked up Mohawk Street and then all the way around the block, back to the same end of Mohawk, and home again. Our timing was impeccable.

During the evening we watched a movie. I can't remember if it was Disney's "Onward" or "Guardians of the Galaxy"... We watched them both this weekend, but I typically half-watch. Rarely does a movie get my full attention. Last night I was busy coloring, which I haven't done since I moved here almost three years ago. I was determined to finish the pages I started last time I had the book out.

Today was a better day. I got up, showered, and dressed for church. Yup, I did. Then I gathered some breakfast and a cup of coffee and climbed back into bed for church online. Maybe I can persuade my people to do Easter Sunday with me next week. I haven't pushed anything church yet. Haven't even really put my toes in the water...

I found a new friend request on my Facebook this morning. Almost thought it was a mistake, and then recognized the name as one of my fellow CNA class members from five years ago. We had a really nice time catching up through private messages. I've had a tendency to walk through life feeling as though my presence makes little to no difference to those around me, like I'm invisible, but this past acquaintance blessed me by saying, " I remember you very well from blossom view. You are/were such a kind soul! Hoping life has been good for you." And then I remember that God is very good and He works in ways we cannot see.

One of yesterday's frustrations was my inability to find or order a new pair of prescription reading glasses, because you know, optical stores are "non-essential." I've been without my good reading glasses for months, even though I've looked literally everywhere and even tried to replace them. More recently I noticed another missing item; an afghan I started a few years back. It was a lot of work and nowhere to be found. As luck would have it, the mind never rests, and I began to wonder if my glasses might be lost with my afghan instead of separate from it. Where would a lost bag be if not in my room? Why under my never worn winter coat, of course! And there were my glasses in the bag too. (I think God was snickering.)

Another short walk today, a little raking out the front flower garden, and a bit of driveway drawing. Idris has been trying out shortened names for us. Mommy isn't much on the grown up sounding terms of "Mom" and "Dad" (which I think are cute), but I'm kind of liking the sound of "Gram" especially when it comes with a sideways smile.

What Day Is This?

It rained today. I overslept, if that's possible. LOL!

Since we sorted paints yesterday, and it was rainy today, I took advantage of the situation and decided to try my hand at painting on a canvas. It's not finished, of course. But it's a good start, even if I don't know what I'm doing. I've a good idea most painters start out feeling like that, so I'm pressing on. Kind of excited to see how it turns out.

We didn't walk this morning, but we did take a walk after the evening meal. The child has a new game. He waits for us to get ahead a bit, counts to ten, and then runs. He found it amusing that I ran too and he ran to catch up to me. Once we get close to the busy road, "the cars," he is required to hold a hand. He makes his mom nervous with his unpredictability.

No baking today. We getting too pudgy. Ha ha!

The Barn Collective

These are my barns. There isn't much inside, not much exciting anyway, just an old lawn mower, a few forgotten tools, and a bit firewood my dad stacked inside over ten years ago.

The "barns" my father built are, or were, woodsheds and tool sheds. I noticed they were looking raggedy this year, so I spruced them up with a coat of exterior paint. Maybe one day I will put them to good use once again.

 The Barn Collective

Today's News

* Yesterday's truck, the one that didn't arrive at the daycare to replenish our food supply, was actually rescheduled,by the owner's wife, to arrive next week. It will all work out fine. Ground meat, for goulash, and bread for sandwiches, will be purchased at the store, but otherwise we will be fine. Milk and produce come on separate trucks.

* Our brother. We have good news today, at least for now. His move to the other home has been put on hold pending another evaluation by physical therapy. Our prayer now is that he is walking as well during that appointment as he was with Rachel yesterday. I am grateful for my sister Rachel and his advocate Meghan. They are fighting for him.

* And then there is the roof... The back porch is gone and the back portion of the roof has been stripped to the plywood. I was a t work all day and am incredibly grateful to all who helped! The dormer window that Dad installed over 50 years ago has been removed and the hole made bigger and wider. Tomorrow it will be framed out and sometime in early October, when it arrives, the new window will be installed.

I thought the dismantling of Dad's back porch would be harder, but I am remembering that a back porch my dad built is not the same as my dad. He isn't the things he built or owned. He was and is so very much more than things.
It is okay to feel a little sad, but I don't have to grieve.  In fact, I am relieved because I know the porch was just a future maintenance nightmare, one I wouldn't want to face. I am actually feeling pretty good about this whole project, even if they did snip a wire and cut out the power to everything but the kitchen. Hey, what better room to still have electric? Everything is back on now and we're ready for tomorrow.
 

(One of our helper grandsons.)

Dream a Little Dream With Me

It's a cozy little place, a bit too cozy if I don't keep up with the clutter. Just a little attic bedroom, more ceiling than walls. Though I love what my father built fifty some years ago, I still like to dream of how it could be different, a little brighter and more spacious...

If money was no option I'd build a proper staircase. That attic ladder fills the bill but makes the climb and descent treacherous if one is taking anything more than him or herself up or down. Where to put the staircase is the question.

What I'd really like to do is add dormers, although this is more like raising the roof... Definitely a larger than present dormer in the back, but maybe in the front as well. Not only would it brighten things up, but it would add a little wall and head space as well. I can stand up right now, but only in the center of the room. There's probably an inch or two of space between the top of my head and the ceiling and I run my glasses, which I wear on top of my head, into it all the time. Hmmm... Maybe I could even get a backyard "balcony" out of the deal, but I'm probably pushing my luck there. (I'm pushing my luck thinking about anything at all. Ha ha!)

What will most likely happen is something a bit more like this. A fresh off-white coat of paint over old wood paneling, and a new window out to the driveway, one I could fit through if I needed to escape. The present window is old, rotted, and desperately needs to be replaced. I'm sure I could come up with funds for a bit of paint and a new window. My ceiling isn't quite so rustic as this one, but I still think a fresh coat of paint could make a big difference. The real question is, "How brave am I?" Braver than I used to be.

Dad would call this a "brainstorm." :0)

That Pottery Class

After work I went back to the pottery studio to find my pieces. I had a hard time finding them. It's a look and look kind of game. Find something vaguely familiar looking and turn it over to check for a name. I almost gave up before I hit gold. Seven smallish bowls of varying sizes and shades. (There are nine here because I found two on Monday.)

Throwing is a challenge and glazing is another. I did mostly okay. I am satisfied with the results.

 They're signed and dated. (Next time I might give them numbers.)

I had a little trouble with two of them dripping. I find that a bit sad.

The next class is in January. Perhaps if I am a very good girl Santa will bless me with the funds for another go at it.
:0)

Pottery and Such

I stopped into the pottery studio to pick up a few finished items. I'd been told my box was on the shelf waiting for me and sure enough, there it was! Pretty cool. I like it.
:0)

There Will Be Pictures...

... eventually. Maybe this afternoon.

There are so many thoughts bopping about in my brain that I scarcely know which one to follow. There is a house to clean, cookies dough to mix, and a Bible study to complete... The chickens have been tended, the dish washer run, and the bed made... But those aren't the bouncing, bopping thoughts.

I am still thinking on my ability (or mostly inability) to say no and go with it. I am also pondering my own lack of skills when it comes to asking for what I need. I've taught my children the bad habit of being indirect ("Hey, Joe, what are your plans today?" I heard myself say.) rather than being specific. (I should have said, "Hey, Joe, do you have time to help me move some furniture this afternoon?") I know I can feel cornered when asked what I'm doing on a supposed day off, rather than being told exactly what is needed. It makes answering so much easier if I know precisely what is being asked. Perhaps I need to let the need for specifics be known, and then start saying no when the questions aren't direct...

It's not really others I am working on, it's me. I'm not trying to be mean or selfish, although it can feel that way. I am trying to untangle some of the unhealthy thoughts and habits I've picked up on my way through life, thoughts and habits that make relationships and living day to day more complicated.

And then there are those bouncing Christmas thoughts... "Never be ready" seems to be my motto, but I'm purposing not to stress this year. (Ha ha! I'm trying to purpose anyway.) Thinking about painting some of these ideas on a few of those pallet pieces... If only I can sit still long enough.