Weather wise it's been a gorgeous weekend. Emotionally, I am drained. If it were possible, I'd pluck myself from this present life and drop myself into a different one, one without so many hurts and questions. There would be different pains in a different life, but maybe the answers would be clearer... Then again, maybe not.
(old photo alert)
I have a warm and cozy place to live, but it is just an attic bedroom. I have a job that provides for me, but the little arms around my neck are not those of my grandchildren. I have friends, but I don't know who to call when I am alone. My mom in law doesn't answer my messages and my own parents are gone. I am more than blessed, but I am still lonely, and we are far from having worked through our difficulties. God is here and He provides, but today I couldn't help but think of a story I heard years ago. It relates, in a small way, to my perspective of where we are. I know the Cabinetmaker doesn't share my view, and that is okay because I have my own things to work through. I am doing so in the best way I know and God hears my cry. I know He's listening, holding me, and taking me where He wants me to be. I trust Him, but I still ache and that ache leaves me tired and emotionally drained. I am looking forward to little arms around my neck tomorrow. Those little ones put back into my soul what gives me life and hope.