Taking a Step or Two

It's past time for me to have turned out the light and settled down to sleep. I suppose one of my shortfalls is not taking care of myself by going to bed earlier and getting adequate rest. maybe that's why I take a nap on my lunch hour.

This past weekend I stopped to talk to someone who several years ago was not happy with me. I saw this person almost every day but never asked what was wrong. Consequently, I wasn't aware of why they were upset and was never able to do my part to remedy the situation. The fault was not mine alone. This person didn't approach me either. We just went on and on knowing something was amiss but never communicating with each other. Here we are years later and it is quite obvious to me they are still angry. At least I now know why. I have owned my side of the disparity. It is all I can do.

I am fearful and anxious when it comes to conflict. Rather than meet it head on and get it resolved, I have a tendency to avoid getting things out in the open. This is a terrible weakness that only leaves both myself and others wounded and wondering what went wrong. I know it's something I need to work on and I am trying, but it's so very hard. Next to impossible. At least it feels that way. I'm a little bit amazed that I actually stopped and talked with this individual. It was scary, uncomfortable, and painful as well, but most of it could have been avoided had I learned how to speak up and ask questions long ago. (Deep breath.)