Saturday, June 04, 2011

The Way of Life

Mom has now been living here with us for a little over seven months. She has adopted my little dog, Sofie, and calls Oreo "My Tuxedo Cat," and I've long lost count of how many puzzles have graced her dining room table. We've settled into somewhat of a routine, at least as far as her medication and newspaper are concerned. I set out the pills each morning and evening, and bring the morning paper inside after the girls get on the bus. Mom spends her days reading the newspaper, taking naps, working jigsaw puzzles, and keeping an eye on my "garden." Sometimes she washes dishes or folds laundry for me. Rachel takes her out for doctor appointments, blood draws, haircuts, and to visit my brother, and Priscilla comes to visit as often as she is able.

Mom is still not impressed with my dinner routine and often worries over whether or James is going to get any supper. I've not seen him go hungry yet, and am quite certain he would not starve to death even if I didn't feed him for several days. (Neither would I.) Though she denies it, I'm still not convinced she isn't concerned over her own growling stomach as she has been known to eat little more than cereal and a yogurt until dinner time. If supper times rolls around and I don't appear to be cooking, she'll say something like, "Well, I don't know what's going on here..." and then insist she isn't really very hungry.

I'm still adjusting my thinking, trying to get used to the fact that my mom is no longer who she used to be. In many aspects she is still the same, but reaching that part of her is becoming more of a challenge. She no longer follows conversations as she once did, partly because her hearing is so poor and partly because she forgets what we were talking about. If I am honest, I have to say that I really miss my mom and the times we used to spend together. I never imagined getting old was like this.


  1. That was sweet, you are a good daughter. I know you have had big time adjustments and frustrations to do what you have done for your Mom.

  2. Martha if my daugters, treat me like you have loved and cared for your mother, in my old age... I will be blessed.

    You are a precious blessing, and you have such a talent for putting your thoughts into words and pictures.

    BTW ~ I too don't plan to stop when I get to 1000~

    Love you

  3. I agree with what Wanda said!!

  4. I sit pills out every morning and night at our house, too. But it's for the youngest among us. ha.

    There must be something about routine that is comforting to her. If you're a little late with dinner that just frustrates her. Maybe you could keep her busy with a little more laundry folding! haha.

    In all seriousness, I KNOW it's hard and I love the effort and honesty you put into it. I'm sure you don't feel appreciated much of the time.

  5. You are such a BLESSING!!

  6. I agree with anonymous, you are a blessing. Thanks so much for all you do for her.

  7. tears in my eyes and my heart. I know your frustration, the pain, the hole in your life, Moms are our support and when they drift away... it hurts. I frequently reach for the phone to call my mom.. she has been gone for three years now. love you.

  8. Has it been three years already, Judi? Time goes so fast. My dad will be gone two years in September.

    Thank you for your love and support. It is hard to see my own shortcomings and failures, my own lack of patience, and to hear the tone of my voice often less than pleasant. God, help me! I so want to do the right thing, to respond in the right way, and do the job well, but without Him it is impossible.