This is my second post today, unusual especially for a Sunday, but my mom is on my heart today. She was at church with Dad this morning but when we asked how she was doing she wasn't quite sure how to answer.
My mom was born 72 years ago in Rochester New York. She had a birth defect, spina bifida, but a rarer form where the effects are not quite so severe. The hole in her spine is high on her back, between her shoulder blades. She lived a normal life without any paralysis or other physical complications until she was in her sixties. As she has grown older her chest cavity has become rigid making it difficult to take a deep breath. Five and a half years ago she spent nine days in the hospital suffering from congestive heart failure and came home on oxygen. Those little green tanks are her constant companions whenever she leaves home. Now she is struggling to breathe again, tiring more easily and feeling her time here is coming to a close. I think she wants to prepare us but not scare us.
So what does one say to a parent who has always been there? How do you thank those who brought you home from the hospital, loved you more than life, spent countless hours caring for you, untold dollars providing for you, and offered up hundreds of prayers on your behalf? Is there a way to say "thank you, I love you, I don't want you to leave, but it's going to be okay" all at the same time? How do you let go and hold on at the same time? I've never done something like this before...
I know Mom has much to look forward to when she meets Jesus. She has so many family members waiting for her, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, friends... her own mother who died of pnuemonia when Mom was just five years old, her oldest sister who died at 19 in an automobile accident, her dear father, and my brother, Dan, her oldest adopted son who died when he was just 25. Yes, she has much to anticipate... and, come to think of it, so do we.
Letting go won't be easy, it isn't supposed to be, but thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Jesus.
I had to call mom after I read this blog. I get so upset when I hear she's suffering and may not be with us much longer. She said she was feeling better and just had a bad night. She seemed sorry that she let it be known, and I assured her she did the right thing by letting it be known, because we need to be able to prepare ourselves. She said she would continue to let us know, and said she was glad to know we love her so much. Thanks so much for writing this blog. It is comforting to know that she'll be with Jesus, but like you said, letting go of her here won't be easy.
ReplyDeleteMartha, your mom sounds like an amazing lady. What a great comfort and joy to know that not only is she a Christian - but so many of her family members are too.
ReplyDeleteI will pray for her tomorrow, and for you (and your family).