"Choice"

In the course of my bookcase moving adventure, I came across two souvenirs, a pair of spoons I brought home from the daycare several years ago. (I traded them for two I bought at Walmart.) It's the little things like this that keep me believing in God and His uncanny ability to answer when I am totally clueless. It's happened more than once in my life. Some folks call these coincidences, others call them "God Winks." Most times I say I felt God smile. I'm not sure what was going on with coincidences and God-winks back in 2018, but I know He was answering the cries of my heart.

January 4, 2018- 
So... I've been looking for answers. I've prayed for answers, and sometimes God has given them, but I have a tendency to question His answers, which leaves me looking for answers all over again, and wondering why He doesn't answer...

... He (the therapist) asked what I needed again. I may or may not have said "answers" and the conversation turned to answers vs choices. Here I am, the ever indecisive, needing to make hard choices. 

...  if I want to move forward, there will be more choices. Some will be easy, and others will be hard. It is the hard choices that help us grow and make us strong.

I was looking for a word for this year. maybe it is "choices."

January 8, 2018- 
"Because of Calvary, I am free to choose." Max Lucado, Grace for the Moment. 

It not so much about getting answers as making choices, and so I will practice choosing. (And quite honestly, I think God really is answering, even if He isn't answering in quite the way I'd expected.) 

January 9, 2018-
Today we got two little boxes of new spoons. (at work)Twelve individually wrapped spoons in each box...

 ... Do you know that on the back of each spoon the word "CHOICE" is engraved? It doesn't say choice on the box, and when I found them online it said nothing about choice...

Today I no longer question the choice I made. I did the right thing, agonizing though it was. Sometimes I still long for someone to wrap me in his arms, but I am wrapped in a love I didn't know existed prior to all the hard choices. Today I am able to love myself in a new and healthier way. My family and I are worth the cost of all I chose to leave behind. 

 

Hooray!

He's home!!! My son in law is home and we are thrilled! It was a very long day of travel and sitting in airports with delay after delay, but he is home, tired and smiling. I'm sure the terrible weather and tornadoes in the mid west, especially Texas, might have had something to do with the delays. We are grateful for airplane maintenance crews, dedicated airline personnel, and tireless pilots. The kids were all smiles when they got up this morning.

It's a rainy Memorial Day but we had no plans for a picnic. We are laying low today, catching up on lost sleep and remembering to be thankful.

Petition Granted

It's been a week of tears and trials, wondering and waiting, and fears and faith. At 6:07 am on May 11, after leaving her "best friend in the whole world at the airport with a one way ticket to a city 2000 miles away," my sweet daughter put out a petition for prayer.  On Tuesday, May 14 she said, "Thank you to everybody who has been praying for us so far. Please keep praying for peace and courage and strength. Today is only day four of an absolutely brutal separation and it is hard not to be discouraged when we’re missing each other so much." On Saturday she wrote, "Sergio has his green card interview on Monday morning. I am trying to get as many people as I can to pray on Monday, because right now we’re feeling like we need a miracle. Please pray on Monday. Share our story with anybody who will also pray. Friends, family, church members. Everybody you can think of..." and this morning, "Sergio is waiting in line for his interview now. Prayers are so appreciated! Although still terrified, we are feeling so much calmer than we expected, and I really believe it’s because of everybody praying" She is one of the strongest, bravest, and most beautiful people I know. I am so very proud of her. We are breathing easier tonight. Sergio's petition has been granted and we are eager to have him back home again soon. 

My own trial pales in comparison.  I get to stay home with Killian. (There is a silver lining, isn't there?) Although I still get that feeling in the pit of my stomach sometimes, mostly due to future financial needs, I also have a unexplainable peace. My present bills are paid and I have money in the bank to cover immediate expenses. My kids won't let me starve and we don't have a mortgage or costly rental agreement. I get to enjoy the sunshine, plant some flowers, and play checkers with my grandson. What could be better than that?

I Don't Blog Much Anymore

 I don't blog much anymore, but our baby went home Friday and that is pretty incredible. Totally blog worthy! I popped in to visit for a spell late this morning and a little into the afternoon.

He was looking chipper, crawling about, and even practiced a bit of free-standing.

I took him a stuffed doggie that I picked up at Walmart mid-week on a lunch break. This morning I hunted down some wide-eyed needles and a bit of black yarn, and I stitched a zipper scar on that puppy's chest.

It was a beautiful, snowy day. Colder than cold. Typical February in upstate NY.

Oh, My Heart!

 A week ago my little grandson had heart surgery. He was born in April with two holes in his heart, and although the doctors were hoping they would close up on their own, they did not. As scary as having the surgery was, not doing it was more frightening.

Henry was a champ and the surgery went perfectly. The trouble cam when he was being weaned off the sedative. Apparently one of the rare side affects of this particular sedative is seizures. Thankfully, his watchful mom noticed and alerted the doctors.

It's been quite the week for Bethany's family. Not only has Henry been away, but Bethany has been away with him the majority of the time. (I've encouraged her to be there for Henry, just like she would for any of the others should they have to be hospitalized.) Adam has been holding things together at home and I'm sure has a renewed appreciation for all Beth does around the house. 

Henry is sporting a great new souvenir; a fantastic zipper scar! He looks just like a stuffed doll now, only much cuter. 

Today he's feeling good. Good enough to pull himself to a standing position. Just look at that smile! He'll be going home in no time. This picture makes my heart happy.

Crossing Jordon Hand in Hand

 Yesterday I met my friend Myung at the park. She was looking for a fellow Christian, someone with whom to share her inner struggles, and a friend with which to pray. We walked along the lake shore, into the park, and up the hill to the picnic area filled with old gnarled sycamore trees, stopping every so often to talk. I wasn't sure how to answer, but know that very often I am simply looking for a listening ear and an understanding heart. 

Our struggles are vastly different, and yet similar all at the same time. We have each been held captive in prisons of our own making. Shackled by our own emotions, held in chains of the past. She shared how she has been reading the book of Deuteronomy and thinking on the children of Israel crossing the Jordon River into Canaan, leaving the wilderness forever behind. We stood face to face, eyes closed, each simultaneously praying for the other and ourselves. When we'd finished praying we symbolically crossed the River Jordon hand in hand. We are moving forward. No looking back. No more living in the past or allowing it to control the future.

I was back home again when she sent me a text. One of the quotes she sent was The bee fertilizes the flower it robs. "I love this word," she said, "It is for me," and it fit her situation perfectly. Honestly, it fits mine too.

Below this quote was another, When it is dark enough you can see the stars, and I recalled how five years ago a deep darkness had descended upon my soul. The darkness was so thick that I was emotionally paralyzed. Every time I lay down, I could literally hear the sound of my own blood rushing through my ears. Every time I sat down my knee bounced up and down. I wasn't sure the world could ever be bright and carefree ever again... but I am learning that in the darkness the light of Christ shines even brighter. I don't have to be afraid and I don't have to stand still because he holds my hand and His word lights the path before me. My part is to trust Him, hold tight to His hand, and keep walking.

My friend is praying for me and I am praying for her. I am in awe of how God has brought us together.

A Pocketful of Lake Glass

Yesterday morning I found out it was the birthday of the friend I was planning to visit that very afternoon. Although we have been acquainted since childhood, our time together has been limited. I didn't want to arrive empty handed, but I had no clue what she might like either. I shot up another prayer. "Lord, please put in my mind something to buy that Gail would like," and then I went to Wegmans. I came out of the store with a package of fresh strawberries, a bag of salted caramel, dark chocolates, and two bottles of unsweetened black tea. Then I headed out to find my friend Gail at her cottage in Holland's Cove along the shore of Lake Ontario in Williamson.

I was on my way down Shepherd Rd when a text came over my phone. I pulled over to look and there was a message from my daughter Hannah. Someone in Williamson offering elderberries to the community. LOL! I sent the woman a message and went on my way to visit my friend.

Gail and I sat on her porch, ate strawberries, sipped tea, and talked. Thunder was already beginning to rumble in the distance when we took a walk down to the beach. It wasn't forecast to rain so we hoped we would be safe, but we weren't. Ha ha! With my pocket full of beach glass, we headed to the cover of a nearby cottage overhang. Thankfully, the rain didn't last long and we were able to resume our walk.

A few hours later I messaged the woman with the elderberries again and told her I was on my way. Along the back corner of her property, just outside the fence along a well loved park on the lake, was a drooping tree full of ripe fruits. She was giving them away. While she went back inside to cook supper, I snipped branches full of dark, black berries and set them in a paper bag. I couldn't help but smile on the way home. God sure does know how to give abundantly!

LIttle Bits of Heaven

It's been a "God Week" in so many ways and I need to collect those bits and pieces before I forget and they are lost to the sands of time.

* I was alone on Sunday afternoon and took a ride to Williamson in search of elderberries. I have a friend looking to make a pie and thought maybe I could help. I know where some trees grow, but the people I knew no longer live there. Suffice it to say I did not find any, but I did throw up an out loud prayer. "Lord, can you help me find some elderberries?" I did this once before, years ago with raspberries. That time God smiled and gave me blackberries instead, all along the back corner of our property. I'd never known they were there. This time he answered too, through an online friend who told me her mother has some. They will be ripe in about two weeks.

* Tuesday evening, while Hannah was gone to work, I took a ride to Webster Park and walked along the shore of Lake Ontario. I sat on a log, looked through the pebbles along the beach, and made a small figure. My "Stone Age Boyfriend." He's a rocker, can you tell? As I stood back to take in the sunset, I heard a voice call my name (again, like on Saturday). There was my Divorce Care group friend Heather coming toward me. (She has been such a special gift.) We shared a hug (Yes, even in the midst of "the sickness" we need to the love and affection of friends.) and I was reminded again just how much my Father in heaven loves and cares for me.

* It was Thursday when I responded to a Facebook post and received a reply in the form of a private message from one of my coworkers who hasn't yet returned to work. We find ourselves on opposite sides of an issue yet were able to have a careful, loving conversation while taking a closer look at the other perspective. Neither one of us went away feeling hurt, invalidated, or rejected by the exchange, but quite the opposite. I listened and heard her perspective and found I could respect what she was feeling, and I felt heard and appreciated for mine. Listening with love is so important. (That is not us, just two friends on the shore.)

* I overslept Thursday morning and had 15 minutes to get ready for work. Ha ha! I skipped the shower and pulled my hair into a ponytail, washed my face, and made my coffee before heading out the door.

* Several times this week I've heard God's prompting to begin to put my story on paper. It is a story that needs to be shared in the proper circumstances, yet a story hard to pen. I believe God intends to redeem the broken pieces of our lives in beautiful ways. In my own times of deep despair, I longed for someone who understood the brokenness of my heart and, in His time God provided that friend. It is time for me too to be that friend to another broken mom and the only way she will find me is if I share. Please pray for me in this area as I need to be wise in the process, and thank you so much for your prayers.

* In times of great blessing, come times of defeat as well. An incident this morning has left me slightly off emotionally and the weekend has just begun. I've learned enough in the past five years to help me move beyond but not one of us has perfected this thing we call relationship and I know I have work to do too.

A Long Awaited Day

Yesterday during our visit, Uncle Chuck asked about my brother Tim. So many prayers have been lifted on Tim's behalf through the years, and so many more people were lifting my parents before the Lord than any of us could have ever imagined. I told my uncle we hadn't seen Tim since March. He seemed sad. Before I left he said a prayer for me and my family, and for Tim too. On my way home I began to think about my brother and found a renewed longing in my heart. I told Rachel I thought it was time for us to make the long awaited visit. This afternoon, when I got out of work, my sister was waiting for me.

We weren't entirely sure what to expect aside from mandatory masks, social distancing, and a temperature check upon arrival (on one of the hottest days of the summer). The staff was kind enough to let us stand within reach of the air conditioner before logging our temperatures. We waited on the back porch while they found Tim and wheeled him out. He devoured his "small chocolate Frosty, please" in no time and then was quite certain we needed to go out the door. We feared he wanted to take a ride in the car, but he was satisfied to be wheeled down and around the sidewalk a few times.

We were outside when the nurse realized I was his sister too, not just Rachel. I told her Rachel was his favorite, baby sister, and I was the just the pesky, little sister who showed up when he was 5 1/2. "Right?" I asked him, and he got a sly look in his eye and agreed. Too funny.

In all honesty, the visit went extremely well. He was more alert than I have seen in a very long time and he looks better too. The nurse is new and she is not into giving a ton of medication. It was such a blessing to have our brother back again. I hope she stays for a very long time.

The G.O.A.T.

I have been home from Minnesota since Monday night. I found my missing hairbrush, which wasn't actually missing at all, in the very last bag I unpacked (Yes, I unpacked all of them.), but not until after work on Tuesday. On Tuesday morning I had to borrow the hairbrush I keep in the car.

Today I was looking for a pen, but when I reached into my purse for the little bag I bought to keep them in, I found the bag was missing. I checked the cabinet where I'd stashed my purse during work. I checked my car. When I got home I checked my bedroom. I did not panic even though my checkbook is inside the pouch, but the longer I looked without success, the more uneasy I became.

I filed a missing item report with the airline. I wracked my brain. When was the last time I'd seen it? I knew I'd used a pen in Minnesota, but I couldn't remember anything past that. It's not anything fancy, just a plain white/gray canvas pencil bag with a goat on one side, and "The G.O.A.T." on the other. I bought it because the large pocket inside my purse has a hole, and I don't like things like pens and checkbooks floating around the liner of my handbag. It was doing a splendid job.

I prayed the Lord would help me find the bag, not because of the bag itself or the pens, but because of the checks. This evening I left a status update on Facebook. "Lost something. Maybe on the flight from MN to Rochester. Or maybe it's here somewhere and I just can't find it. Prayers for its recovery would be appreciated. Thanks."

My son answered, "What did you lose? Besides your hairbrush." Funny guy. Turns out I left it in the glove compartment of Michele's van. Tucked it in there when I lightened my load before we went into the Renaissance Festival, and then completely forgot about it. Ha ha! Good thing my son's memory is still working. In my defense, I was very sleepy on the way home from the festival Sunday afternoon... Maybe I was sleepy when I put it in there too.

God Knew

God is always in control. A sweet child of mine had a medical emergency this past weekend. I first heard of the trouble through a text Sunday morning while I was still in New Jersey. The request was for prayer. The surgery didn't happen until Monday. Emergency surgery. Life-saving emergency surgery.  Strange how sometimes things just happen, things beyond our control, and God just shows up. And then He waits to see if we notice He knew all along.

I may have been far away on Sunday morning, but on Monday I was back home, and not only was I home, but I didn't have to be at work until one o'clock in the afternoon. I had a doctor appointment at 10:45 am  and had originally planned to be at work on time and leave at 10 am, but my boss asked if I could come in at one and stay until six instead. Going in so late gave me plenty of time to run an errand to retrieve some grandchildren. After my appointment I had time to run in Wegmans and pick up a few lunch items for a grandkid lunch, take them home, and still arrive at work on time. Timing is everything and I find God's ability to arrange schedules quite astounding. (He's done this before...)

My child in need is home recovering. I was able to pay a visit last night after work. (Keeping the details vague. Perhaps this child of mine will tell the story one day or allow me to share. For now I'm respecting privacy and trying not to overstep boundaries.) Let me tell you, I am a much blessed mom.

Still (Part 2)

Be still, for He is still... God. 

The women's conference... It turned out to be great. And today I found myself missing the women I spent my time with. Brenda is a longtime friend, Carol is a longtime, but distant, acquaintance, and Nicole used to sit behind us at Calvary Webster, but I don't think we ever really talked, and here I am missing them. We rode down together, shared a dorm room, sat together at meals, and talked late into the night on Friday. We connected, and now it seems strange to be apart.

I'm healing a little at a time deep on the inside. I'm learning to be me, without feeling strange doing it. It's different and interesting feeling comfortable in my own skin. I'd been afraid someone at the conference would shake that feeling away, but I didn't find that to be true. I didn't come away unchallenged, but I didn't come unglued either. God always knows exactly what I need and when I need it. He's kind of cool that way.

Still (Part One)

I am home again. I spent the last few days on a women's retreat in the mountains of northeastern Pennsylvania. The weather was fantastic, the food abundant, and the fellowship sweet. God showed up in incredible ways and He is awesome.

I went to the retreat somewhat reluctantly, and with hidden fears and trepidation. It's not exactly unfamiliar territory, this stepping into a large gathering of Christian women, but recent life events are altering my perspective on an assorted variety of viewpoints. It was this shift vantage points and what I have known to be taught in the past that left me feeling insecure and uncertain, but God had already paved the way because it is just like Him to have a plan and put it in motion.

There were tears and there were tender touches. I came home full and blessed. God has proven once again, although He need not, that He is good.

And guess what?! Number Twelve made his sneaky arrival just this morning. We've got an even dozen!

The Promise of Spring

Spring is gaining strength and winter is waning. Yesterday we had a few snowflakes in the air. This morning we had a fire drill and during the afternoon the children played outside in short sleeves. Tonight I am sitting at my little desk, once a wedding gift to my maternal grandparents, with the window open. The birds are singing their evening song and my heart is feeling peace.

Bible verse of the day, Psalm 126:5. They who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. I have to do a little more work on processing my hurt and anger from this week, but the pain is not overwhelming. I slept last night and tomorrow I have an appointment with my counselor. I am grateful for the appointment because for some reason I was thinking I didn't have another until the end of the month. I actually said, "Praise God!" out loud when the reminder came in my email.    

It's been a week of sorting mind files, a going through the baggage kind of week, and this time things are beginning to make sense. Being asked to step out of a group to which I have dedicated 41 Monday evenings, June through April with only Labor day missing, was devastating, but it hasn't destroyed me. God has better plans for me. The healing He has in store is the kind I really want and need anyway., because He is the only one who knows my story from start to finish, and the only one who loves me wholly and completely.

I have not only been asked to step out of the group, but banished from it. I do not have the choice to return. I've been told I am "stuck," "not ready," and have not gone "deep enough" with my shared answers...But I am not stuck, because God doesn't leave his kids stuck. Instead He is using the seeming unkindness of people I loved and trusted, to get me over the hump. I was told I could start a new step study come September, but that is not likely to happen. Had the leaders been honest with the other members as to why I wasn't coming back, ... I might,...  maybe... consider it. But they were simply told I wasn't coming back, as if it had been my decision, and I think there is something inherently rotten about that. It's like I'm seeing a field of red flags waving at me, and tonight I am grateful for blank answers and an inability to write down what would normally flow naturally.

I am okay. Good even. I am learning to advocate for and take care of myself. I didn't need a rescuer to swoop in and fix it up for me, and that is progress. I've learned a major trigger point in my emotional baggage and God has lanced the wound deep in my heart. Healing has begun. Thank you for your prayers.

Today's News

* Yesterday's truck, the one that didn't arrive at the daycare to replenish our food supply, was actually rescheduled,by the owner's wife, to arrive next week. It will all work out fine. Ground meat, for goulash, and bread for sandwiches, will be purchased at the store, but otherwise we will be fine. Milk and produce come on separate trucks.

* Our brother. We have good news today, at least for now. His move to the other home has been put on hold pending another evaluation by physical therapy. Our prayer now is that he is walking as well during that appointment as he was with Rachel yesterday. I am grateful for my sister Rachel and his advocate Meghan. They are fighting for him.

* And then there is the roof... The back porch is gone and the back portion of the roof has been stripped to the plywood. I was a t work all day and am incredibly grateful to all who helped! The dormer window that Dad installed over 50 years ago has been removed and the hole made bigger and wider. Tomorrow it will be framed out and sometime in early October, when it arrives, the new window will be installed.

I thought the dismantling of Dad's back porch would be harder, but I am remembering that a back porch my dad built is not the same as my dad. He isn't the things he built or owned. He was and is so very much more than things.
It is okay to feel a little sad, but I don't have to grieve.  In fact, I am relieved because I know the porch was just a future maintenance nightmare, one I wouldn't want to face. I am actually feeling pretty good about this whole project, even if they did snip a wire and cut out the power to everything but the kitchen. Hey, what better room to still have electric? Everything is back on now and we're ready for tomorrow.
 

(One of our helper grandsons.)

A God With Ears

Last week I wished God would speak to me out of the clouds in a loud and unmistakable voice. I wanted an answer to one question in particular. I shot up a desperate prayer, not really expecting an answer. At least not one I could hear clearly... But God works in mysterious ways. He answers when we least expect Him to, and very often in ways so obvious that it is harder to doubt than to believe.

Life is full of struggles and we are in the midst of one. For the past three years I've repeatedly asked God for answers. I have doubted His answers, argued His answers, and been confused by His answers. I've found that God's answers can take me by surprise, and also found that often they don't make any sense to me. Why would He ask me to do something that seems so opposed to what I might have expected? What is He attempting to accomplish? I have to admit I often don't have a clue.

I'm trying to obey, but not in a blind kind of way that does what is expected simply because it's just that. I'm here in this attic bedroom not because I'm running, but because I'm trying to do what He says. I understand it confuses some people, and I guess that has to be okay for now. God is writing "Martha's Story". He has a reason for all I am going through. I only need to trust Him... and that's hard.

So yeah. Last week I tossed an anguished prayer heavenward. I said something like, "If you don't want this meeting to happen, could you stop it? Maybe make it so that I can't leave work for those few hours?" Today one of our assistant teachers came into work, walked into the director's office, said,"I quit!" and walked out again. That leaves us with growing numbers of children (We had 59 for lunch today, the most all summer.) and short staffed. When I asked my boss if I was still covered for tomorrow's meeting she gave me a blank stare. I took the whole fiasco as the answer to last week's prayer and told her not to worry about it.

I feel okay right now. It doesn't mean the struggles are over, but it does give me peace about where I am today. Mostly I am in awe of His ability to answer my pleas in such an incredible way. He hears my cries and for that alone I am blessed.

The Banana Bread Miracle

There were not nearly enough animal crackers to feed 60 children, and way more quickly-over-ripening-bananas than they would ever eat. I'd already handed them out for breakfast and today was my last chance to use them before I had to throw them out. so I made a bold and daring suggestion. I could make banana bread for snack and use up a bunch.

Several hours later, when I cut the banana bread into pieces and set it on trays, I found myself 6 pieces short. I'd already set aside animal crackers for the babies and still didn't have enough bread. I needed to feed the toddlers all the way through the children

 who would arrive on the bus after school. I needed 54 servings and I had 48. I checked in with the site director to find out what to do. "There are 23 school age kids," I said. She looked slightly shocked. She thought the count was off, checked the list, and said, "No, there are 17," and just like that my dilemma was solved.

I felt God smile. He does that sometimes, you know. Funny thing is, as I write this I recall looking at those two pans of bread and thinking God was going to have to do a miracle if it was to feed everyone. A loaves and fishes kind of miracle. and what do you know? He did!

Eight Years

It's the annual "Dad Post" because I still love him as much as ever and miss him like crazy. Perhaps in some ways, I've missed him more this past year because I've felt so much like I need him to be here. I've needed his wisdom, his guidance, and his love. I've needed his arms around me and his prayers upholding me, but just when I find myself thinking I don't have those things anymore, I remember that love, wisdom, and prayers are timeless.

I still have my father's love. He poured so much love into my life that the well will never run dry. My dad taught us not only through his words, but by his actions as well. He was a man who said what he meant, and meant what he said. If I search my heart and listen closely, his wisdom is etched into my soul. And God, who lives outside of space and time, not only keeps our tears in a bottle, but he has a bowl filled with our prayers as well. He doesn't count prayers lifted on our behalf as "expired" when the intercessor passes on, and so I find great comfort in knowing that even though my parents are no longer physically here, I am still wrapped in their prayers and ever will be. And I am grateful.

Hannah's Party

Halfway through yesterday afternoon, in the midst of party preparations, I was struggling to keep my eyes open. I tried shutting them on purpose, but sleep didn't come and my mind kept going over all I had to do to be ready for Hannah's party. Finally, after two cups of coffee and the arrival of a few guests, I began to come back to life again.

I'm pretty sure Hannah was blessed by the party this year. I worked hard to make up for my lack of giving her even a small birthday gathering last year. Many times through the past 12 months I've bought her something and told her with a smile, "It's for your birthday," but nothing really beats a genuine birthday celebration. Oreo joined us for the picnic and found some guests sympathetic to a famished yet friendly feline.

There were enough young people for a game of Ultimate Frisbee on the far side of the yard. It was fun to watch.

 I have to say, one of the biggest blessings for me was having my family together for a family gathering and feeling like we are whole again. We were missing Joe, who had to work, and Jim and Michele who live too far away, but otherwise we were together; kids and significant others, grandkids, and friends. Made me miss my mom and dad but I'm pretty sure if they could see us, they'd be smiling too.

Thank you, Hannah, for being part of our lives, for wishing for a "surprise" party, and blessing us just by being you.

Crash Landing and a Drive In the Snow

Do birds make crash landings?

I went to fill my feeder with birdseed this morning, and instead found myself headed back inside for the camera. There was an unusual bird print in the snow somewhat beneath and to the side of the feeder. I'm used to seeing footprints but this looked more like one of my feathered friends was trying to make the bird version of a snow angel. No other animal tracks, no sign of a struggle, just the obvious imprint of a bird.

This afternoon My Darling and I went out for a ride. We went in search of our middle child who just started classes at the community college in Auburn. He took a leap of faith early this week and it looks to have been a good thing. He's moved out of a bad situation and into something much better. Now he needs a job. Knowing what to pray for my kids is helpful. Last week I prayed Joe would find a place to live so he could go to school, and this week I will be praying for employment. Sometimes prayer is exhausting, but seeing my prayers answered is such a great encouragement, and it's so much easier to sleep at night when I know my kids are safe.

(Hey, Della, one day when I'm out that way you're going to find me in your driveway.)