“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,
and I will give you rest.
and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28
The past few weeks have been more than emotional. What started as a little emotion, ended up transforming me into a blubbering mess. There are several converging reasons. As a family, we are battered and bruised, struggling to come to grips with our situation, and searching for answers. It is emotionally, mentally, and spiritually exhausting.
But, there is another reason too. Muffled, and all but forgotten, is the upcoming anniversary of my mother's passing. Loss need not be at my mind's forefront to render me weepy. There is no wallowing in this sorrow, only a recognition of its presence. Many are the moments I miss my mom.In the midst of overwhelming sadness I have cried out to God. I know He hears, and I know He wants to help me, but like a child in the dark of night, I don't always understand when it appears He doesn't hear. How can I feel so completely terrified, helpless, and alone and He not answer? I know perfectly well why I did not answer every cry of my children in the middle of the night. Not only did I need sleep, along with others in the house, but the crying child needed to sleep as well. Somehow, some way, I must also learn to rest and trust that morning will come, and along with morning, the sunshine.
This weekend there were many tears, and there were prayers as well. God is listening. He hears. He sent a bit of unexpected financial help in the form of a few gift cards yesterday. I never saw it coming, but He knew. And tonight when I came home, there was a package wrapped in brown paper waiting on the counter. It had my name on it and said,"Contains Happy Mail!" An old blogger-turned-Facebook friend in Minnesota sent me a box of love and her timing was impeccable.Does God hear my cry? He does. Does He hear the cries of my family? Yes, He hears them too, and He is loves each one of us. We are crying in the dark, hoping for morning, learning to trust in Him and rest.
I hate to hear that you are so sad. I am glad you got some happy mail and I am thankful to your friend for that. I wish I could help with whatever your family is going through. I am sending you my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for this friend too. She's pretty great.
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Sister...God loves you and so do I.
ReplyDeleteYour heartache hurts me too.
Learning to trust is such a big thing but I know God is there.
I wish I could do more than pray for you.
Love you friend , even though we have never met.
Love you too, Suzan.
DeleteYour prayers are appreciated and mean more than you can imagine.
Often I wonder if God is not listening because he wants you to hear yourself first. I believe we must do everything in our own power to take care of ourselves mentally and physically before God will jump in and take care of the things we cannot control. We cannot rely on God in every aspect of our lives. We have to think ourselves as reflections of him and ask ourselves what he would do and then do as such. If we do not know what God would do then we must search our soles for the best answer and hope that God will guide us along that path. The prayers we should send up to God are for strength, courage, and determination; asking for Him for answers just leaves you depending on someone else to give you the answers you surely know yourself but may be afraid to implement. Have strength my dear Auntie Martha, God cannot fix, mend, or cure all, but He will walk by your side as you work life out on your own and He will be there when you need him the most. Maybe just right now, Him now answering your prayers is His way of telling you that you don't need your belief in Him as much as you need to believe in yourself and the power you have over your own life.
ReplyDeleteI know He is near. Like the child crying, alone in the dark, except he isn't really alone at all. His mother is waiting, on the other side of the door, listening and doing everything in her power to allow her precious, and dearly loved child the time to self soothe. Perhaps it is a poor analogy, but I knew God hasn't left me alone. I am growing, even in the midst of great agony. Thank you, my sweet Annie, for reaching out to me when I so often feel very much alone. I love you and have missed your chocolate cake.
DeleteMmmmm...CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!
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