Forgive me a few more wedding photos (and maybe an extra blog or two today) as I sort through "brain files" and get used to having an empty nest. The funny thing is my nest has never been empty, not even to start with. Jimmy came along very
soon after we were married (he just turned 34 yesterday) and we did a great job of filling our house with noise and activity. There were many times I was exhausted and longed for a break, but I loved having kids. They make great friends as adults, even if I do have to let them grow up and fly away. Letting them grow up and start their own lives has not been so difficult. I've let go gradually through the years, but now the house is strangely empty and the girls and boys who once accompanied me on trips to the store, the ones who listened to me ramble on and ate the cookies I baked, they've all grown up.
All is not lost and I am blessed, because I have a good relationship with my grown up kids. They still love me, in spite of myself, and they don't seem to mind hanging out with me on occasion. I haven't seen them roll their eyes or heard them groan when I come around the corner, even if I do have a secret fear of that happening. I desperately want us to be best friends and I desperately miss the funny things they say and their crazy antics. I hate being without them and love seeing them grow up all in the same moment. I'm proud of who they are and I am blessed to be their mom. And I still want to hide away in a corner somewhere and have a good cry.
The Barn Collective.
4 hours ago
Cry all you want...that's good. In fact I remember the verse that says God catches our tears and keeps them in a bottle... Perhaps He looking for a larger bottle.
ReplyDeleteMine have been out of the nest so long....I have trouble remembering all the noise and laughter.
Tears don't come near as easy these days... even when they're just below the surface.
DeleteIt is bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteIt always is.
DeleteAh my oldest is turning 17 this year and I'm already smothering over her not being here anymore in a few more years.
ReplyDeleteThe good thing about getting them almost grown up and beyond is that they become friends instead of just children.
DeletePS. I'm glad to see you are blogging again.
:0)