It's actually hard to believe Mom has been gone for a year already. It's been a long year of slow letting go, letting go of Mom and letting go of my own shortcomings. So many memories, so many things I wish I'd known, so many deep and heavy sighs...
A poem was shared the other day and I passed it on to my cousin who is just stepping into the role I stepped back out of a year ago. I wish I'd known about the "two mothers" years ago. Though I'm sure it wouldn't have changed the task at hand, it might have given me a little extra insight into what were actually "normal" changes that seemed so abnormal at the time. I barely got a chance to savor the second mom because I didn't know I'd been gifted with two...
Two Mothers Remembered
by Joann Snow Duncanson
I had two Mothers - two Mothers I claim
Two different people, yet with the same name.
Two separate women, diverse by design,
But I loved them both because they were mine.
The first was the Mother who carried me here,
Gave birth and nurtured and launched my career.
She was the one whose features I bear,
Complete with the facial expressions I wear.
She gave her love, which follows me yet,
Along with the examples in life she set.
As I got older, she somehow younger grew,
And we'd laugh as just Mothers and daughters do.
But then came the time that her mind clouded so,
And I sensed that the Mother I knew would soon go.
So quickly she changed and turned into the other,
A stranger who dressed in the clothes of my Mother.
Oh, she looked the same, at least at arm's length,
But now she was the child and I was her strength.
We'd come full circle, we women three,
My Mother the first, the second and me.
And if my own children should come to a day,
When a new Mother comes and the old goes away,
I'd ask of them nothing that I didn't do.
Love both of your Mothers as both loved you.