Friday, April 18, 2014

The Stuffs

It's been a week of reflection. There is an empty spot in Mom's room where her hospital bed was. We took it to the local loan closet about a week ago. I was ready to let it go, but am feeling a bit melancholy just the same. I'm not quite sure how to sort through Mom's things. Thankfully, she didn't leave massive amounts of belongings because I already don't know how to "dispose" (that sounds like such a cruel word) of what is left. I've never divided an estate, never sold off possessions. Mostly I stand staring at things and wonder what to do, as if hanging on to things will keep a little bit of my parents here.

Slides and pictures

I had three quiet days this week, one of which I spent away from home. The other two found me attempting to sort through some of my own junk collections, turning Mom's room into a kind of catch-all. I've found that sometimes it isn't the letting go that is so hard, but where to send the stuff I'm letting go of.

yard sale

Do I want to put the effort into selling things? Is there a greater benefit in donating? Do I hold a "Great Give Away" with a donation jar toward Hannah's summer mission trip to Grenada?

The truth is that everything feels like a part of Mom and Dad... and I want to hold on to them as long as I can.


  1. Martha...this dealing is so hard, the giving away, selling, it's just something none of us want to do or had to do. My mom had been widows for so many years, she had little of value..and the hutch, the old Singer, and the rocking chair were taken by us kids. We each gather a few treasures, and the rest was donated.

    My heart is heavy this morning as death has caught up with us daughter Michel's FIL passed Monday..and yesterday when I visited Elizabeth..she looked so bad, she's failing, and now Hospice come every other day to the rest home...I so long for heaven...I just want to go HOME. (Martha sorry to unload on you...but I know I can.) Love you tons.

    1. Here I am, fifty years old, and I am getting such a different perspective on life. The heartache of goodbyes comes all too often. If I only knew what would be cherished by family members.

      My heart aches with you as you struggle to deal with your goodbyes. Heaven gets sweeter every year and we long to once again be with those who've gone before.

      And then there are those whose lives are just beginning... They've yet to fall in love, get married, and know the joy of newborn babies. Sometimes I think about my dad and the encouragement he was to his kids and grandkids, and I smile. I want to be like him.

  2. I hope you figure out how to handle all the 'stuff'. Not an easy thing to do, that is true. There isn't a right or wrong way, either. Everybody does things differently.

    1. Anyway I look at it, it's hard. I'll figure it out eventually.

  3. I like the idea of donations towards Hannah's missions trip - it also feels like something that would honor your parent's heart for sharing the gospel. Love you my friend!

    1. It's an overwhelming thought, but something I am seriously considering. I have enough stuff of my own to get rid of that I wouldn't have to do it all with Mom's things. And then, some of this stuff, like old books, I'll just have to donate or toss. Hate that thought.

  4. so your not alone in this are you?
    have a memory party, one day, 6hrs or so, family members and close friends.. come and take a "treasure" that's special to them. then u donate the rest.
    tossing books.. that is some kinda sin I think.. the opposite of hoarding. donate, donate, donate ... one woman's trash is another's treasure.

    so easy to say from 3000 miles away. oh! did your Mama teach you the art of hoarding.. u do it well.
    and wow if I had a barn or two... love you.

    1. Actually, my parents left behind very little in the way of belongings. In the end Mom started saving some strange things, but she was never a "hoarder" in the true sense of the word, and neither am I, of course. I am blessed to not have an abundance of worthless items to sort through.

  5. I just don't have anywhere to display some of her things. I've thought I could take something but then I think,"and do what with it." I should help you thought.

    1. Sometimes I think I will never really finish the job.