Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Gone to Pot(ty)

My daughter is disappointed in my lack of enthusiasm over Josh's use of the potty. She has been able to get him to go pee on the toilet several times, often three times in one day. While this is all very impressive for a 14 month old boy, I still lack the excitement my daughter had hoped to receive.
I must say that potty training has never been one of my favorite tasks and I am ever so thankful for the invention of diapers, especially disposable ones. I have also used cloth and found them great for saving money and quite effective also. Diapers, whether disposable or cloth, do a wonderful job of containing the mess and make clean up a relatively easy chore. The cost of using them has certainly been worthwhile in my opinion.
However, there comes a time in the life of every child when diapers must be set aside and underwear introduced. Some children are thrilled to now be counted a "big kid" and are as eager as Mom to get the job accomplished. Other boys and girls would rather not have their comfortable lives interrupted by inconvenience of having to use the toilet. No amount of bribing, pleading, or shaming produces positive results. Some parents even resort to corporal punishment in order that the mess be delivered in the prescribed location. I once had my sweet two year old, on the advice of a friend, rinse his own poopy undies in the toilet. Fortunately, he was as appalled as I and the event was never repeated.
As much as I would like to share my daughter's pleasure in potty training her son, I know he is a very long way from being able to use the bathroom independently. It is totally up to his mom to decide when he should need to go and even if he is aware, his ability to convey the need is limited.
In my first ten years of being a mom I potty trained four children. Each one was approximately two years old. Daytime training, though not without it's challenges, was relatively easy. Night training however was, well, a nightmare. Because my children were small and did not wake up dry, I kept them in a diaper at night. This is where I fear many parents make a mistake. When the diapers go, I now believe they should go altogether.
Between my fourth and fifth children I took on a couple of babysitting jobs. I found parents who work full time to be somewhat more relaxed in the area of toilet training. Both families I babysat for chose to wait until their children were very close to three. Both children trained in a very short span of time and both children were dry day and night. I decided then that my fifth child would wait to potty train until three years old. It worked like a charm!
So, why am I not excited? Likely because I see a very long and frustrating road ahead for both my daughter and my grandson. Potty training will happen one day, maybe well before he is three years old, but there are so many wonderful events and opportunities to enjoy between now and when that really needs to occur. I hope she doesn't miss the wonder of a one year old in the quest for being diaper free.

11 comments:

  1. Oh, I am soooo keeping my lip zipped! :)

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  2. Martha ~~ I relate! Had four to potty train in fist 10 years of marriage... Some were easier than others.... but in time they all got it!!

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  3. I remember using the potty trainer. It was in the downstairs closet. How old was I then?

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  4. I have no experience in this arena. My mom is with you, though, Martha. especially with boys.

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  5. I'm honestly not trying to be a discouragement. It's just the reality of the situation. And she hasn't taken out of diapers so it's just the dedication to setting him on the potty often enough to catch him when he needs to go. I was never so lucky in the beginning.

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  6. Trial and error, she will learn from experience...mom says I was completely trained by 19 months, so it is possible. Keep up the good work Bethany, if you and God want it to be then it will be...but don't get discouraged if it doesn't...life has a wonderful way of making things work just the way they are supposed to.

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  7. Yes, Annie, I remember you being trained well before I ever thought of training Jimmy. You truly were a wonder child!

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  8. Maybe Bethany and Joshua enjoy their time in the bathroom! I babysat for a girl and the parents had me put her on the potty after naps and meals. I think she fully potty trained at the normal time. And for their second child, a boy, there was no extra effort and he potty trained about the same time as her. Caleb was over three and easy as pie, also I preferred the diaper to the aforementioned effort. But Josh could be a wonder kid, so if they're having fun go for it.

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  9. PS - That's a great picture, is it OK to ask who it is!?

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  10. She has been known as Sleeping Beauty, but actually this is my baby sister, Rachel.

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  11. I've had potty training disaster with most of my boys....hoping it wont be so bad with my girl.

    By the fourth time round, I kinda went with the 'they'll let me know when they're ready' theory...which worked better - my fourth child didn't show any understanding till he was three and a half!!!

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