Thursday, July 23, 2020

Five and Three

I came to the realization this afternoon that there may have been another reason for yesterday's tears...

Anniversaries can be hard and I already know that, but these two anniversaries are more obscure, so much so that apparently I can all but forget them too. I can forget them consciously, but the subconscious is still painfully aware. The tight muscles? The headache and sleepless nights? Deep inside I didn't really forget because my body remembers. Five years today. Three years yesterday. No details on the first one aside from the fact that it was the reason for the second.

Three years ago today I became the resident of this little attic bedroom. I put the boxes I had packed into my car and moved home to Mom and Dad's house, except Mom and Dad aren't here anymore and my son in law and daughter live downstairs. It was a heart-wrenching move. I left so much behind, and yet God has given me so much. There is still pain in my heart, but there is peace also. I did what needed to be done and God has given me peace, even when there are still tears.

9 comments:

  1. when we surrender to God we find things become easier and we feel more competent. Paradox!

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    1. Yes. Your comment sent me searching for an old song...

      He giveth more grace when the burdens grow greater,
      He sendeth more strength when the labors increase,
      To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
      To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.

      His love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
      His power no boundary known unto men,
      For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
      He giveth and giveth and giveth again.

      When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
      When our strength has failed ere the day is half-done,
      When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
      Our Father’s full giving is only begun.

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    2. Powerful words in that old hymn...so true and what a promise that He giveth and giveth and giveth again...
      Sue

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  2. Wishing you a peaceful day. You are with people who love you, that is wonderful.. Blessings, xoxo, Susie

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    1. I had a good day, and you are right, I am with people who love me. That in itself is a blessing.
      :0)

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  3. Anniversaries can be very hard...but dear sweet Martha...you are moving ahead, you are healing, your a growing in your walk with the Lord...that's all good! How I love the song, it says it all! Love you Tons....

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    1. I know this thing about anniversaries, but I forget too. I am healing and I am definitely growing. God is so, so good. Five, four, three, two, and even one year ago I couldn't have imagined such peace. It is a beautiful song and I listened to it several times this afternoon.
      I love you right back.
      :0)

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  4. Bittersweet memories and anniversaries but the healing that has come in this last year is a real treasure...just like YOU...
    Sue

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    1. I am slowly learning how to take the bittersweet. It has definitely been a year of healing.
      Love you.

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