Some little spots of sunshine out in my yard. Note to self- must plant more crocus. I spent a little time outside raking leaves out of my flower gardens and soaking up some sunshine. The days are getting warmer and I am looking forward to gardens full of flowers and leaves on the trees.
I glanced out the window this evening to see the sun shining golden rays on the fields and orchards. It was one of those fleeting moments so difficult to catch with a camera. I am looking forward to this weekend when the forecast calls for temperatures that will lure us from our houses out into the sunshine. Maybe I'll even find some new spring flowers sprouting in my garden.
Last Monday was my birthday and a small package arrived in the mail from NY City. Inside I found a short note and a CD of a children's opera written by my friend Judy. (I already have a copy of her children's book.) She suggested I familiarize myself with the story before listening to the music, so I found a library book and read the story.| "I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have redeemed you." Isaiah 44:22 |
Dark and dreary; it was a good morning for sleeping. The fog rolled in mid morning and settled upon us like cool, wet blanket. The orchard trees appeared ghostly and cold. It would have been a perfect afternoon for sleeping too had it not been for all the traffic through the house between the hours of 1 and 3 pm. Both Emma and I gave up on catching a nap though Bella was able to get one.
It's hard to believe that we have been without Dad for six months already. Though I miss him every day and memories often put a lump in my throat, they still, more often than not, bring a smile to my face.
This morning I took Mom to have her taxes done. We appeared to be missing a couple of documents. I made a phone call from the library reception desk. The man on the other end wanted to talk to Mom. The librarian fretted over how long I would be "tying up the line". I hung up instead of getting Mom from the next room. We went to the bank. The bank said there weren't any documents for filing, not enough interest earned. We went home and called the first place back. Dad didn't withdraw money from the account so there was no document filed this year. (He always withdrew the money in December and wasn't here to do it this year.) We went back to the library to finish the tax return. We went to the town hall to file for a property tax rebate. I was missing another document (non-taxable income). We went back to the bank. We got nowhere. We went back home again. I felt impatient with the paperwork, but told Mom this is a learning process and once we know what we are doing things will be easier. I hope I am right.
The air is cold but the sun is shining and that is a good thing. My flowers are much more patient today than I. They are closed up tight to stay warm and wait silently, no whining or complaining, no feelings of irritation. They aren't worried about whether or not the sun will shine tomorrow. I am learning too, learning to wait and trust that God has everything under control. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day [is] its own trouble." Matthew 6:34
| Hear the voice of my supplications When I cry to You, When I lift up my hands toward Your holy sanctuary. Psalm 28:2 |
It was bright and sunny yesterday but a cold wind stung my face and hands. My flower garden does not seem concerned over the weather. Fresh new shoots continue to stretch heavenward, reaching just a little higher each day. I couldn't help but think it appeared as though they were lifting holy hands to their God and Maker.
Today is my grandpa's birthday. We celebrated our birthdays together for most of my childhood (they're two days apart) though I wasn't always sure he knew it was my birthday too. (Silly child...) He's been gone for almost eleven years now but I can still close my eyes, imagine his "grandpa" smell, feel his arms wrapped tight around me, and hear him call me his "little rascal". And I still miss him.| For all people walk each in the name of his god, But we will walk in the name of the LORD our God Forever and ever. Micah 4:5 |
Last night I picked up a new book, one my husband found in the bookstore at church. It's just a little book, "Continuous Revival: The Secret of Victorious Living" by Norman Grubb. The book caught James' eye because a friend of ours had known Norman Grubb personally. Clif had been encouraged by Norman, and we were encouraged by Clif.
My chives are growing. They are small and tender. I hear them calling for baked potatoes, butter and sour cream.
This year I decided it was time to start counting birthdays backward, so rather than turning forty-six, I am going to be forty-four instead. In eight and a half years my son will have caught up with me and we will both be thirty-six. I figure that will be the time to have a great celebration. Maybe one day I will be young enough to once again play on the floor comfortably. Maybe my hip won't hurt when I get up to walk again. Maybe my eyes will focus properly! Yes, I am looking forward already to next year's birthday when I can plan on being forty-three!
I have found myself feeling emotional this past week or so. Lost sleep, raging hormones, and a change of seasons has left me feeling unexpectedly weepy. I miss my dad and so many things are bringing him into my thoughts. I sneaked into the attic bedroom while at Mom's house this afternoon, pulled some of Dad's clothes out of a box, put my face into them and took a deep breath. I wasn't alone long. I quickly put the boxes back in order, and went back downstairs.
I took Dad's diaries out of Mom's drawer, found the one I had been reading, took it out to the living room, and sat on the couch. I didn't read long. We had gathered for a family birthday and there was a lot of activity in the house. The kids were playing and Dave was cutting the cake. A birthday song was sung, and dessert was served. I tucked the little book back in its hiding place for another day.
It was so nice out yesterday that I took the girls for a ride down to Irondequoit Bay to feed the birds before they take the bridge out for the summer. They had fun tossing bread to the ducks, geese, and swans and dipping the toes of their boots into the edge of the water. We ran out of crackers all too soon but a woman had been there just previous with a huge bag of bread and rolls so we picked a few of those off the beach and tossed them as well.
While Hannah and I kept an eye on the girls, Ben took a few pictures for me. Not only are there gulls and water birds, but a handful of pigeons were hanging around hoping for a morsel of bread too. I don't believe any of the birds were too hungry. They probably don't know what it's like to go without a meal.
I saw a sign for sale at Goodwill the other day and felt myself smile. It said, "If idiots grew on trees, this would be an orchard." It might not be a very nice thing to say, but my smile wasn't because I am surrounded by idiots, it was because I am surrounded by orchards. I think I'll go back and get one of those signs just for the fun of it.
The robins are back so, even though we are expecting a possibility of snow next weekend, I know spring is on its way. This robin was not pleased that I was in the orchard and let me know so in no uncertain terms. I was skirting Teal Lake and had no choice but to walk under her tree.
When I was a small girl I had a good friend whose home was outfitted with a laundry chute. There were five children in Beth's family and I'm sure the laundry chute came in very handy. One day my friend and I discovered a wonderful game. It was somewhat similar to a game the children in my mother's daycare used to call "Garbage Truck". We found it great fun to drop stuffed animals, dolls, and blankets down the chute, run downstairs to retrieve them, and then drop them down all over again. Running up and down the stairs was good exercise and Beth's mom didn't seem to mind the game. It was one of our favorites. I do think I recall her father stepping out of his office on occasion to quiet the ruckus we were making. He was the minister at our church and his office was at the bottom of the stairs. All was well with the laundry chute game until one day we decided to put all of Beth's toys down the hole in the wall; stuffed animals, dolls, blankets, dishes, little people... whatever toys were in her bedroom. Evidently we overdid it that particular day because her mother was no longer amused and put a quick and sudden stop to the fun.
I've not a lick O'Irish in me and yet there be a pot o' corned beef a simmerin' on the stove. I feergot to wear green but theer be two little lady leprechauns a resting in me living room who remembeered. They come home from preeschool wit pockets full o'gold coins! They say they found a leprechaun!
Ever have your children say that? "I forgot..." Well, sometimes moms forget too. Nathan reminded me Sunday night that I had promised to make him a lemon meringue pie. I had forgotten... So yesterday I made two more pies, one for Nate and his friends at the apartment, and one for my people still here at home. I was told it was very good. I didn't eat any as I am once again attempting to go gluten free. I had tapioca pudding instead and it is one of my favorites.
Forty-five years ago another small child stood on this spot and looked out the window and into the world outside. Often my mother had left me there and gone off to find my severely autistic brother who had once again disappeared. She would leave me standing at the window to watch and wait. This was back in the days when that was perfectly acceptable and I would be watching when she returned.
Years ago there was always something going on outside; children playing in the street, dogs running through the neighbor's yard, or birds hopping about in the grass. The neighborhood is much quieter these days. There are still the occasional walkers, and birds still hop about on the lawn, but the children who once filled the streets are gone, grown up and moved away.
I am quite certain that our house will not be selling anytime soon. No one in their right mind would really take a second look at a place with this kind of water issues. This does not throw me. I know God has a plan. We have a plan too, which includes trying to fix this water problem, but that plan can not be implemented right now. If only we were raising crawdads...
